Sometimes you have to be reminded that you aren’t the only one walking a tough road. When you’re stuck in the rut of day-to-day, that reminder can be just the wake up call that you need to remind you that you really aren’t in the wrong story.
Someone got to my blog today by searching these words:
“sometimes you come to know that you are in wrong story”
I don’t know who it is, or where they are, and I have no way of knowing if they’ll ever read these words.
For me, though, it was enough to jar me out of my current state of mind, feeling like I’m constantly in a valley – though I have learned that I truly do need to spend time with my emotions, but sometimes they can get the best of me.
Dear Friend who feels like they’re in the wrong story,
If there is anyone in this world who can truly understand your sentiment by searching for those words, I think it’s me.
I’m a take-charge type of person, I am pretty set in my ways. The past couple of years have nearly been my undoing. The amount of pain, fear, uncertainty, anxiety and stress have seemed to be more than I’d even wish on an enemy.
The fact is, we’re all subject to the consequences of the choices we make, and we’re also subject to the consequences of some choices that others make – for example, if a co-worker slacks off, we often have to cover for them. Or if a child does wrong and needs to be dealt with, we need to do that even if we are too tired to want to deal with it.
I don’t know your situation, I only know my own. In my current situation, there have been 3 options:
*leave my marriage
*separate from my husband and maybe come back together after a time (or maybe not)
*dig in and do the hard work of “for better and for worse…“
It took a lot of time to make my decision. At first, I made no decision because I was determined not to make an emotional and rash decision. My husband spent the better part of a year not knowing if I’d stay or go. And I spent the better part of a year asking God to make it very clear as to what I should do.
See, I went from being in control – what was happening, what needed to be done, what order to do things in – to being told how life would be for the next number of years. Not necessarily allowed to come and go as we used to, under constant scrutiny, where every word matters and you sure need to choose them carefully. Basically, my life was completely out of control.
It was not the story I would choose for myself. Change that: It is not the story that I would choose for myself.
But I don’t have a choice. This is where my life is currently.
I’ve decided to fight for my marriage. That means really having to face all that has happened, painful as it may be, and find a way to move forward. Do I expect this will all be a thing of the past someday?
I expect that what we’re going through will change us. It’s forcing us to communicate more, to be completely open with one another. I don’t know that this present mess will ever be completely behind us someday, no.
But, I am expecting God to use this to be the thing that propels us forward in our relationship. I’m anticipating that in the next 20 years, we’re going to look back and say that we are actually stronger because of this.
So, friend, I don’t know where you are or what you’re struggling with. I hope that you’ve found the encouragement and support that you need for whatever you are facing.
I know that it may seem like the wrong story – no doubt there is pain, maybe even heartache and grief.
Keep pressing on. Keep showing up. Keep opening your eyes each morning. Keep searching for the help you need. Don’t stop until you feel that you are at a place where you have peace.
Trust God – hard as it may seem. Believe me when I told you that I had it out with God many times over the past few years. The anger, the hurt, the “how dare you lead me into a life that was never meant for me” feelings were all there.
The good news, though?
God can handle our feelings. He knows our hearts anyway, and He fully understands our emotions because He created them.
I truly believe that sometimes the best thing – the very best thing – that you can do is to be completely honest with God.
And while you wait for God to sort out the issues in your life, there are two resources I’d recommend to you – two that I’ve been working through myself. Two resources that I trust will bring you peace and hope because they are full of truth.
The first is a small, pocket-sized devotional for the times of hurting and pain. It’s called When Words Won’t Come and the beauty is in its simplicity. God’s Word for our hurting hearts. My friend, Leah Adams, wrote it and it’s been a blessing to me. You can find it here:
The second is a book that I’ve shared here before, but it’s been amazing in changing my perspective from doubt and fear, back to trust. As my husband and I continue to work on trust in our relationship, I’m finding that I have to take a step even beyond that and make sure that my trust in God continues to be solid. Arabah Joy wrote Trust Without Borders for just that purpose – building our trust in God.
I’m praying for you – for peace, for trust, for very evident signs of God’s faithfulness.