Friends, it’s been a tough couple of weeks in Christian circles.
- A major speaker/author came out in support of gay and lesbian marriages and that sent shock waves through both sides of that debate.
- A (female) blogger announced her divorce not long ago, and is now dating a woman.
- A Christian blogger with quite a large platform has announced that her husband divorced her.
And it drove home the reminder that none of us are exempt from Satan trying to stir up strife. None of us.
For the purposes of this post, I’m just focusing on the marriage and divorce issue. I’ve heard from so many of you that marriage is tough. It’s not the white picket fence and perfect family and beautiful flower-lined sidewalks that we want it to be. The Hollywood depiction of marriage and family is so unfamiliar to so many of us.
The reality is messy. It’s hurried schedules, family dinners on occasion, two jobs (or more), kids in a variety of activities, and barely time to connect with your spouse, let alone focus on growing a relationship.
And as soon as the enemy finds an “in” you know he’s going to jump on it.
My husband and I have to be intentional in making time just to talk. It’s so easy to let the moments slip by, and before long, moments turn into a day…or two…then three, and before we know it, we’re snapping at each other, wondering why the other is reacting out of frustration.
The blogger who I mentioned above was married for a long time – to someone she had known for over 20 years. That’s a long time. But the enemy still found a way to mess with them and her husband chose divorce.
My husband and I have been married over 17 years and are still struggling through the results of his poor choices and actions.
And more than ever, I believe that we – you and I – have been put here, for such a time as this.
Biblically, our husbands are the head of the home and we, as wives, are in the role of helpmeet. If your marriage is anything like ours, then these roles can get blurred, they can be frustrating, and can lead to some hurt feelings as each tries to fulfill their role.
Today, we need to set our feelings aside.
Today, we need to take up a new challenge – with courage, intentionally, with great faith.
It’s time to rise up and step into the position that God has created us for.
It’s time to pray.
WHAT DO WE NEED TO PRAY FOR?
The list can be tailored to fit your specific circumstances, but here is a list of things to pray over. (And the list is not all-inclusive.)
His job, his co-workers, his manager/boss, favor in the workplace
His friends, his circle of influence, the random people with whom he crosses paths
His family, his parents & siblings, his children, his wife
His free time, where he chooses to let his mind go during down time, his hobbies
His ministry, his leadership, his church roles
These are just a few ideas of what to pray for.
HOW SHOULD WE PRAY?
- We need to pray with intention.
Set a reminder on your phone.
Write it on a sticky note and post it on the window above your kitchen sink.
Ask your kids to remind you.
Find a friend – today, or as soon as possible – and hold each other accountable.
Write it on your family calendar. It’s okay if he knows you’re praying for him!
- We need to pray specifically.
Take one of those ideas from up above – or even an entire line. Pray through each of those.
Make a list of specifics personalized to your situation.
Ask him how you can be praying.
Don’t just say, “Please bless him, Lord.” Tell God his specific needs. Ask God for exactly what you want.
When Jesus saw him lying there and learned that he had been in this condition for a long time,
he asked him, “Do you want to get well?”
It was obvious that the man needed healing – but Jesus’ question was, “Do you want healing?”
So pray specifically – tell the Lord exactly what it is that you want.
- We need to pray consistently.
When I’m saying to step up and pray for your husband, I don’t mean just for today.
I mean for the long haul. Make a commitment. Make it a priority.
Don’t stop when you get upset at him about something.
Don’t stop because life gets busy; re-prioritize and PUT HIM FIRST.
If our marriages are going to last, we have to realize that the spiritual battle isn’t just for today. It’s forever.
It’s time to rise up, women of faith!
It’s time to call this what it is: a battle.
And here’s a hint: the other side is willing to fight to the death – the death of your marriage.
The question is, are we willing to fight to the death?
Are we willing to pray as if our marriage depended on it?
Because – it does.
The strength of our marriage is not going to happen by accident. It’s not going to happen because we plant flowers by a white picket fence and put on a happy show.
No, our marriage will grow only as we invest in it.
The question is, how much are you willing to invest?
Chances are, when you said your vows at your wedding, you used some form of
for better or worse
for richer or poorer
in sickness and in health.
From one extreme to the other – better or worse, richer or poorer, in sickness and in health.
Today I’m drawing my line in the sand. I’m committing to pray for my husband more than before, and I will not back away from this line.
I’m waiting here for God to meet me. I’m choosing to wait for His answers, not seeking my own desires, but seeking Him for the strength of my marriage.
I commit to praying each day for my husband – intentionally, specifically and consistently.
I’m preparing my heart, asking God to work through me, and I’m waiting for God to answer.
And I’m prepared to wait here until God answers.
I’m waiting for God to send the rain.
Let us acknowledge the Lord;
let us press on to acknowledge him.
As surely as the sun rises,
he will appear;
he will come to us like the winter rains,
like the spring rains that water the earth.
Who’s with me?
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If you’re looking for more encouragement in your marriage,
check out these posts.
Check out these resources for strengthening your marriage.
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Take a look through these gifts of hope
for the women in your life who are fighting for their marriage.