A new year is always a good time to re-evaluate things in your life. My friend, Beth, is here to share today about giving your marriage to God this year. Have you done this before? What a wonderful commitment to make, with intention, at the start of a new year!
No matter what season of marriage you’re in, giving your marriage to God is the number one best decision you can make for your marriage. (and life!) There is so much freedom in totally letting go of the reigns and giving them to God. When we live as God designed and intended, we flourish! He’s our creator, he knows exactly what is going to work, and, what’s not. Giving your marriage to God today is the start of freedom, of hope, healing, and joy.
How does one really go about this? What does it look like this “giving your marriage to God”?
After we had our second child, I was like most mothers trying to figure out how to balance life with children, work, and the to do list. I had my ideas of how it should go, and how my husband should be responding to it all. And, when it didn’t go as I imagined it should, tensions grew in our marriage. I felt very unheard, very un-appreciated, and actually quite irked at my husband most of the time. Instead of surrendering my marriage to Gods’ plans, I did things in my way. Sure I prayed to God about our issues, and even told God “I’m giving you my marriage Lord, please help us”, but I never let go of the reigns. I didn’t know I actually then had to change my ways and learn how to be a Godly wife. I was so consumed with my husband needing to change, I didn’t realize that learning to live as the wife God intended me to would actually be the key that unlocked the door to healing and hope. It took a continued downward spiral and an eventual separation for my eyes to be blown wide open. I had to change too, and to fully give my marriage to God and his design.
Today I’m sharing the changes I made that honor Gods’ intention for marriage (and began our restoration journey), and I pray they are helpful to you as you reflect on your own marriage (and hopefully as you consider giving your marriage to God fully this year too!)
Choose Freedom by Giving Your Marriage to God This Year
1: Giving Grace.
If you don’t read another word of this post, remember this one, Grace. So often as I struggled with my own frustrations about my husband, I perceived his actions in ways that in hindsight weren’t always true. I have since learned that giving Grace as the Lord gave me, is truly a saving action. Giving Grace and not words of dissatisfaction or instruction saved our marriage in so many ways. It opened my eyes to the love of our savior, and helped me to see my husband through that lense. It lessened the frustrations and anger, and softened my heart. Over time, (and giving LOTS of Grace!), he too softened, and we began down a path of true healing.
“See to it that no one fails to obtain the grace of God; that no ‘root of bitterness’ springs up and causes trouble, and by it many become defiled;” Hebrews 12:15
2: Pray Fervently.
Praying for your marriage often is the way to stay on track with what God wants for your marriage, and what he has in store. It also helps us to stay in connection with our creator, and to hear how he wants us to handle all the big and little situations that arise in our marriages on a daily basis. There are times I pray to God about specific situations happening in my marriage where I just don’t know what way to go or what to do about it. But, after having that conversation with God, he reveals to me the next step. Sometimes its Grace, sometimes it’s wait, sometimes it’s take an action. When we pray for our marriage, and specifically Gods’ will, we continue to align our unique marriage path in his good plans for us. And, we continue to Glorify him and shine his good news to those in our lives.
”Look to the LORD and his strength; seek his face always.” 1 Chronicles 16:11
3: Learn the Importance of
Respect to Husbands.
I remember when I was separated my Christian Mentor asked me one day over coffee, ” Do you think your husband feels respected?”
It took me aback. Does he feel respected? After all we’ve been through, in my eyes he’d made some decisions that weren’t so respectable to me. However, before all our issues, I would have told anyone that of course I respect my husband. I did! But, did he “feel” respected? The truth is he didn’t. And it lead to a whole lot of discontent and tension. Even though I wasn’t intentionally trying to make him feel this way, he did. I researched and learned about what Biblical respect truly looks like, and started applying it daily. It was a whole new learning process, but eventually it became second nature. And it made a huge difference in our marriage. And not surprisingly so, as it was always the way God intended for our interactions to be.
“However, let each one of you love his wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband.” Ephesians 5:33
4: Learn and Apply True Biblical Submission
There is a lot of information out there about Biblical Submission and how wives should conduct themselves, however it’s an area of contention for so many, and I believe it’s because so much of the advice is either wrong, or, misleading. It’s definitely confusing enough for many women to up and forget about working on this area, especially in this day and age. But, forgetting about this important piece to Gods’ design to marriage is to be losing out on something quite beautiful in your marriage, and, actually quite freeing! It allows you to let go of the burden of having to figure everything out, to solve all the issues, and to hope the decisions you make are the right ones. Because you choose submission as God intended, you are literally giving your marriage to God, and letting go. You are trusting in his ways, and that he will use your submission for his plans. Of course you should be a part of the process, and as help meet you are invaluable to your husband, but in the end, the choice to submit is to allow his leadership, and to allow the Lord to use it. It’s about having faith in all the ways he designed marriage, even in submission. Giving your marriage to God is a step of faith, especially in this area, but in growing in this area we truly transform our marriages, and our lives.
“Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything.” Ephesians 5:22-24
Disclaimer: If you are experiencing emotional or physical abuse in your marriage, please get professional assistance. Often healthy emotional and physical boundaries are necessary in these instances, and professional guidance is recommended.
Beth Kelly is a certified biblical life and marriage coach, writer, and blogger, with a passion to serve those who are standing with God during a difficult season in marriage. She can be found on her blog and on Pinterest. She is the founder of our group for wives who are standing for their marriages. Click the image below to fill out the form to be added to that group.
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