I remember waking up, praying that it was all a bad dream, but realizing within a few seconds, that it wasn’t a bad dream. This was my new normal, and I somehow had to get up and make it through the day. The trauma that I experienced took it’s toll and something as simple as getting out of bed to take care of the kids was challenging. Would life ever return to the normal I used to know? Would I be able to move past the trauma in marriage?
One of my favorite stories in the Bible is of the four men who took their friend to see Jesus. Their friend was lame, so he was not able to get to Jesus on his own. In fact, when his friends got to the house where Jesus was, the house was so full that they couldn’t get the man close to Jesus. They could have easily said, “Sorry, Pal, we tried. We’ll try again next time.”
But, that’s not what the friends did. They didn’t give up! They took their buddy up to the roof, made a hole in the roof and lowered their friend down to see Jesus. Can you imagine being in the room as that all unfolded? There is always a way to healing; we just may need to be creative in our approach. (Luke 5:17-26)
That’s my goal with helping women move forward after heartache or trauma in their marriage. I know it’s hard to move forward, and I know that Jesus is the one who can help us to heal. But, I also know how hard it is to get unstuck so that you can start to feel whole again, so it’s my desire to work with you to help you find your healing.
How to Move Past the Trauma in Marriage
It’s taken a long time for me to start to feel like I can move forward. So much of my story has simply been a struggle to exist.
What constitutes a trauma in marriage?
There’s no right answer, except to say that if it deeply hurt you, it was traumatic for you. If you feel like it took the wind out of you, it’s a trauma that you’ve endured. How about that one thing that completely caught you off guard and was like a knife to the back? Yes.
Sure, there’s an official definition, but if you’ve dealt with a trauma, or an extreme hurt, you know the feeling I’m talking about.
Will life ever be normal again?
That’s a hard question because the hard things we deal with change us, and they change our perspective. We can find healing, but we may never experience life in the same way.
From my own experience, life took a turn I wasn’t expecting, and while things have improved, they just aren’t the same. To be honest, that hurts. But it doesn’t have to define my day, or my life. I can choose to set my sights on the Lord, and to find my hope and healing in Him. But, it’s a choice I have to make.
I can find a way to move past the trauma in marriage by making choices that will help me to reframe my thinking.
How can I start moving forward again?
It takes time, and to be honest, it can take a lot of time. But, when you’re ready to start reclaiming your life, you’re going to know! You’ll have a feeling of frustration with how life is, and you’ll want more. I know it might not seem that way right now, but it will happen someday.
You start with baby steps – small changes that will shift the long-term outcome.
Think about a cross-country airplane trip where you get off course by just one degree. In the first hundred miles, that one degree isn’t going to make much of a difference, but over multiple thousands of miles, that one degree will make a huge difference in the outcome.
We need to do the same thing with reclaiming our lives.
We can’t move forward with big steps because we’ll wear ourselves out. But we can make small changes now, that will make a big change in our lives over time.
If you want to make a healthy choice with your life, you might not jump into a big diet change overnight, but maybe you can start by drinking more water each day.
It’s that type of small change that we can make for ourselves as we work to move forward.
Friends, there is hope. There is an option for you to live, and breathe, and reclaim your life, and I would love to help you with that. I want to make sure you get every opportunity to work through this with the Lord, just as the lame man’s friends did.
Learn to Reclaim Your Life
I’m sharing a brand new resource that I’ve created designed to help you learn to move forward.
These are the steps I took to start to live my own life again, and I’m sharing them with you now, because I want you to thrive!
This course is called How to Move Forward After a Traumatic Experience in Marriage. You’ll find hope and learn practical steps to get unstuck.
Who should take this course?
This course is designed for women who are ready to wrangle some life out of the tough situation they’re in.
While this course is geared to those struggling with hard situations in their marriage, the same principles can be applied to going through any situation that has provided a deep hurt.
What will you get with this course?
- Learn basic steps to reclaim your life – steps as basic as getting up on time each day
- Build on small successes in order to begin to show up for your life again
- Learn the role that abiding in Christ plays in your healing and your growth
- Adopt the cycle of Scripture that changed my life, or create your own
- Apply these Scriptures and learn to make changes in your own life
This study includes the full course and pages to download and print, or use as a reference guide, while you complete the course.
Each worksheet has Scriptures on it that are meant to encourage you and support you in this time.
You’ll have lifetime access to the course, so there is no hurry to get it completed.
I’d encourage you to take a look. Even if you aren’t quite ready yet, you can get it at the current price and start it when you’re ready.
For those who want a little extra support, there’s a second option.
You get the full course, at the same price, but there’s an option for a coaching call with me at the end of the course. This year, I took the steps to become a Certified Marriage Breakthrough Coach and Biblical Life Coach. This provided me an in-depth study into how to help myself – and others – get unstuck.
How long will this course take?
This course is self-paced, so there’s no set timetable, because we all work through grief and pain differently. However, for those who need something more concrete, you can work through this course in about 4-6 weeks. Because we’re forming new habits and looking at things differently, it’s best to take your time and work through each section as it’s designed.
If you know someone who is struggling, this might be just the resource that they need in order to start to get back on their feet.
There truly is hope, and we can find our footing, learn how to move past the trauma in marriage, and begin to reclaim our lives!
For more information on the course, click the link below: