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When Your Husband Doesn’t Understand Your Struggle

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I poured out my struggle to my husband. I searched his face for support, but saw only a blank stare. He gave me a short response and then he walked away. I was stunned and frustrated that he seemed to blow off my heartfelt needs. Why did I bother to share my feelings with him in the first place? Didn’t he understand how much I was hurting?

Does that sound familiar? This experience has played out many times in my marriage and has caused tremendous hurt.

Communication with another (imperfect) person can be difficult under the best of circumstances. The reality is, though, that we all filter our conversations through our own experiences.

With a strong desire to grow together and be supportive of each other, my husband and I discussed these conversations and our perceptions of what the other was communicating.

I learned that my husband simply may not understand my struggles. He processes information very differently than I do, and if he could not fix my problem, he felt helpless and uncertain of how to move forward.

So what do you do when you struggle, but your husband doesn’t understand?

I shared my heart, but he barely responded. I was sure that he cared, but couldn't figure out how to explain my struggle when my husband didn't understand. #marriage #communication

Being married has given me many opportunities to fine tune my communication. Marriage has shown me that no spouse – husband or wife – is a mind-reader. We have to communicate, and as a married couple, we have to find a way to work with our spouse to make our communication clear.

I’ve found four techniques that have worked to help us communicate when I feel that my husband doesn’t understand what I’m sharing. Note: Of course this works the other way, too – for when I don’t understand my husband. I’m just sharing from my perspective.

Join me at Fulfilling Your Vows for the 4 tips to help you communicate with your husband when he doesn’t understand your struggle.


Are you struggling in marriage? Hope for the Hurting Wife offers encouragement for your marriage.

3 thoughts on “When Your Husband Doesn’t Understand Your Struggle”

  • Boy you got that right! Communication with another imperfect person can be tough! Sometimes I just give it time. I give myself time to re-think my approach for how and when to talk with my husband. Sometimes he just needs to be in the right mindset to even hear what I have to say. Letting him know that I need to talk, allows him to be open to hear what I need to say. Marriage can be tough but communication is such a big key… to hear and to be heard.

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