Choosing the Priorities

Wife. Mom. Friend. Scheduler. Cook. Cleaner. Teacher. Encourager. These are just a few of the things that make up who I am, and at times, they are all competing for a top spot and I get stuck on how to sort it all out and successfully be and do all that is before me. Of course you know - as well as I do - that we cannot be and do everything. So how do we choose? How do we correctly and successfully choose the priorities that need to get done? Yes, I really am going to tell you how to do it all, so keep reading!

I often think through what needs to be done and I start with the most important, or the one that needs to be done the soonest. And then I continue on in that manner, getting the important things accomplished. However, this method rarely helps me to get everything accomplished and is more likely to leave me frustrated, upset when my kids interrupt me, and aggravated that their aren’t enough hours in the day.

If working in order of importance doesn’t help me to see everything get completed, then what am I supposed to do? If my intent is to be real here, then I will tell you that what I usually do is run around trying to get as much done as I possibly can. This drives me crazy, though, and the amount of stress it adds to our home is not good.

So what’s the answer, because I did promise you an answer. The answer is to choose the correct priorities - not just to prioritize what has to be done, but to step back and make sure that your priorities are even correct in the first place. What should our priorities be?

*God
*Family
*Others

I find when I’m rushing and trying to be the one who does it all, I come up short every time. Sometimes I cheat myself out of some good rest at night by staying up too late to do things. Other times, I cheat my family out of quality time together because my mind is going a thousand miles per hour trying to organize and get done all that must be accomplished.

That makes it sound like my priorities are wrong to begin with. If God is my first priority, my life isn’t going to be reckless and haphazard, because “God is not a God of disorder, but of peace….” (I Corinthians 14: 33) If my life is causing me chaos, confusion and conflict, then I need to step back and check my priorities. My life - my days, my lists, my priorities - should begin and end with God. Maybe that means some time in the Word first thing in the morning, or working on a new memory verse, or some quiet prayer time. It could mean ending the day with any of those as well - the point is, that the day should start and end with God.

Family should be our next priority - the physical, mental, emotional, spiritual health of those in our household. How are we focused on caring for those whom God has placed right inside our four walls? My first commitment inside my home is to my husband. I am his helper - how are my priorities reflecting that? Maybe it means that I need to tackle that pile of ironing as a blessing to him. Maybe it means leaving an encouraging note tucked into a book he’s reading, as a reminder of how much I value all he does for us. Maybe it means sitting and listening intently as he describes various aspects of his job that I don’t understand - but I can ask questions to gain insight and to express my recognition of his work and his worth.

After focusing on my husband, my children’s needs are the next priority. As a mother, I know the importance of nourishing healthy bodies and strong minds, but if I’m overlooking the spiritual growth, I am not giving my all. I need to encourage and nourish every part of their well-being, and that takes time and energy each day.

After we have started the day with God, and have focused on our family, we can move onto the parts of our lives where we consider the needs of others. I think this is a part that many of us over-value. And even as I type that last sentence, I’m sitting here saying, “Ouch!” I know that I often over-value this aspect in life. Moms - doesn’t life seem small sometimes? Don’t you feel like maybe you should be out solving problems in the neighborhood, or the state, or even the world? I know I feel stuck in the mundane of the day-to-day: teaching the kids, dishes, laundry - where is my “ministry to others”?

What a sad mistake to overlook those in our own home, in the name of “ministry to others”. God, in ALL His wisdom, put us in the home He did, with the family we have, for a reason. How are we to expect our own families to grow up and be capable of “ministry to others” if we don’t see, or take, the opportunity to minister to them? How are we ministering to our spouses and our children? Joyfully? Diligently? And here’s the scary one…are we ministering to them as unto the Lord? I know I’m guilty of not always taking those opportunities, or not ministering with the proper attitude. But I’ve also seen the benefit of doing it correctly - the joy, the peace, the security that comes from knowing they are as important, no, more important than any outside ministry. How effective would I look in a ministry to others, if I was neglecting my own family? That doesn’t mean that my family has to have it all together. Not by any means! The idea of neglect, in any situation, implies continual and willful dismissal of, or ignoring of, needs. It doesn’t imply a lack of perfection in the situation, but rather a lack of attention to the situation. So we don’t need to worry about our families looking perfect (’cause mine sure is a big mess some days!), but we do need to be sure to be caring for their needs, not overlooking them. When we stand before God someday, He’s going to be interested in our ministry, sure, but He’s also going to be interested in how we cared for those whom He placed right in our own homes.

So in a world that’s seeking to pull us in many different directions, with ministry opportunities at every turn, with more things to do than our 24 hours each day might allow, how do we correctly and successfully prioritize what needs to get done? By making sure our first priority is correct - God. Jeremiah 29:13 - “You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart.” When we get Priority Number One correctly in place, He will help guide us through all that we have to do. It may mean that we step back from some things we feel we need to do, or maybe hand them off to the next person who is prepared to take over. It may mean we have to give up something if God is showing us that it’s not in line with the priorities that He has for our lives. It may mean that new opportunities will present themselves as we seek God.

Whatever the case may be, though, we can know that God is placing HIS best into our lives, for a reason, and we can trust Him for the blessing. God - seek God diligently for what He has for you, for how He wants to use you to minister to others. Family - encourage, nourish, help, bless those whom God has already given to you. Others - minister as God leads, serve where God places you, but remember that this area is third in the list of priorities, not first or second.

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