everyday success Archives - Journeying Outside My Box

Believing in our Significance

February 4, 2025 By Rebekah 5

Significance. Worth. Value. Purpose.

What if we believed in these words? I mean, truly believed in the power behind them.
Sure, we believe in these words, as they relate to others.

We believe that people have significance, we believe that people have worth and value.
We probably even believe that people have purpose.
No doubt we attribute some of these characteristics to certain professions -
doctors, nurses, educators, pastors, leaders, and others.

What about ourselves, though?

Do we really believe these things about ourselves?
If I’m being honest, I know I don’t always believe these words about myself.

Do you?

What if we did believe these words about ourselves?

What if we believed we were as deserving of these words as anyone else may be?
What if we truly believed that we have

significance,
worth,
value,
purpose.

What would our lives look like?

I have had several kinds of conversations recently that got me thinking about these things. The first kind of conversation is the one where you sit with a friend and as you talk you express, to them, the value that they bring to your life. You talk about the qualities they have that make your own life more worthwhile - maybe their sincerity or their loyalty, perhaps even their humor. You spend time thanking your friend for this role they have in your life.

And then it happens.
Your friend says they don’t believe you;
they don’t really see that they offer those qualities in the friendship.

Now at this point, several things run through my mind, in no particular order.

First - Would I sit here and say these things to my friend if they weren’t true? Would I offer this as my perspective just for the fun of it?
Second - I believe in my friend; why doesn’t my friend believe in their own potential that they’re already making use of in the world?
Third - How can I make these statements to my friends in a manner that would cause an impact in their lives?
Fourth - What if my friends truly believed these things about themselves?

The second type of conversation that I’ve had recently, that has me thinking about our significance, worth, value, and purpose has also been with friends. A friend and I might be in conversation, and they begin to express their gratitude for qualities I bring to their life, as a friend. I sit there and listen to what the person says, and then it happens.

I look at them and say something like,
“But am I really making a difference in your life?”
I don’t really see that I’m offering those qualities in the friendship.

Or maybe we discuss the things we do - as moms, as women, as leaders, as mentors, as friends, but we fail to grasp the impact that we have in doing these things.

One of my favorite movies is It’s a Wonderful Life.
The main character, George Bailey, gets an opportunity to view life, as he knew it,
but with one twist: he’s never been born.
The people he knows, the town he lives in, all of life as he knows it - continues to go on.
But he sees how vastly different it all is because he is not there.
While he feels frustrated in what his life has become,
through choices he made in tough situations -
he’s a small-town building & loans official
who can barely stay in business thanks to the major bank in town -
he sees that his life has impacted many, just because he was there.

What did he do that was so impacting in their lives? Really, not much. He went to work, he was a family man, he was a friend to many. He offered who he was - the traits and characteristics that made him who he was - to those with whom he came in contact.

And it made a lasting impact,
to the point where life was vastly different when he was not in it.

So what holds us back from viewing the lasting impact that we can make on others? What prevents us from finding the value, worth and purpose in the opportunities we have, whether it’s our family, our job, our ministries, or even (for me) our writing?

The answer is shockingly simple. So simple that, surely, there must be more.

The enemy does not want us believing that we can do any good, or have any significance, or be of any worth or value to someone.

That’s it. Right there.

That is the reason we don’t believe that we are significant, or of worth. That is the reason that we don’t believe that we have purpose, or that the tasks we’ve been called to have any value.

The enemy wants to block us from that because he knows that if he can block us from believing in our own significance here on Earth, then our lives won’t impact others as they were designed to.

Dear Friend,

God put us here, in this day, for a purpose!

He could have formed us and placed us at any spot in history. He could have put us in the early church, or in the generation prior to cars being invented. He could have placed us in the middle of the deserts of Africa if that was His plan. We may have grown up in war-torn lands, or in highly influential families if that was where He could use us.

But we are here - you living your life, and me living mine - as we are, in the capacities that we are (wife, mother, leader, writer, for me), for a reason.

If we believe God to be Who He says He is, then we have to believe that His plan for our lives is just that - HIS plan. He authors eternity - do you (do I) really think it’s a mistake that we’re here now?

NO! By NO means! God has a purpose, a plan for us today.

The question becomes -

If we believe God, can we trust His plan for our lives?

God is all-powerful. He created the world. He created us in the world. He placed us here, now.

That, right there, gives us an overflowing measure of significance, worth, value, and purpose.

When I sit here and wonder if these words are resonating with anyone, I have to check myself. See, God didn’t call me to write for you, or even to you. God called me to write what He puts on my heart. For Him. Maybe this is my act of worship, maybe this is the way that He knows He has a hold of my heart. Maybe my heart works to serve Him in this way. I don’t fully know.

But I do know that there is nothing else that grabs hold of my heart like writing does. There is nothing else that I labor over so vigilantly. This stuff here, it keeps me up at nights. I often lie in the darkness with something on my heart, only to realize that sleep isn’t coming until I’ve put pen to paper, or fingers to keyboard.

I love these words from the book of Esther, when Mordecai persuades Esther to appear before the king -

When Esther’s words were reported to Mordecai, he sent back this answer: “Do not think that because you are in the king’s house you alone of all the Jews will escape. For if you remain silent at this time, relief and deliverance for the Jews will arise from another place, but you and your father’s family will perish. And who knows but that you have come to your royal position for such a time as this?”

Then Esther sent this reply to Mordecai: “Go, gather together all the Jews who are in Susa, and fast for me. Do not eat or drink for three days, night or day. I and my attendants will fast as you do. When this is done, I will go to the king, even though it is against the law. And if I perish, I perish.”
Esther 4:12-16

I think that if we grasp our significance here, with a strong head-knowledge, it can make a difference in our lives.

But if we grasp our significance here,
with a strong heart-knowledge, we just may change the world.

Original Photo Source

Share this:

Filed Under: everyday success, having faith in God, intentional choices

I Took the Long Way Home Today

November 13, 2024 By Rebekah 10

I probably could have been home twenty minutes earlier if I had kept up with traffic, and taken the shorter route home. I took the long way home today, though. Things have been a little up in the air for me lately, but that’s not why I drove more slowly and took turns that would make our trip longer.

Today I wanted to get home. I had things I wanted to do after my son’s two hours of therapy and then an hour drive home. As a parent, though, it’s not always about me.

My 3rd grader has to read several novels this year. Honestly, this is one of the hardest parts of our schooling venture as reading comprehension is such a struggle for him. His list of novels includes some that I knew would be a little too easy, and some that would definitely be too hard.

He chose Johnny Tremain as one of his novels to read. It is such a great piece of literature and really makes the Boston Tea Party and the Revolutionary War era come alive for young minds!

However, I knew, going into it, that this book would be one that was much too hard for him, in terms of comprehension. He seemed determined, though, even if he could only read 1 or 2 pages at a time. We had the novel list over the summer, and he actually started this book in August.

322 pages of Revolutionary War era historical fiction - it doesn’t get much better for a young boy who loves to study about wars, guns, the effects on culture and economy, and so forth. However, at only 1-2 pages at a time? This book was bordering on torture for me - constant reminders to please read a few more pages.

“Try to finish a section,” I begged, “and maybe even a whole chapter!”

Only to be met with, “No possible way! This book is too hard for me to read too much of at one time.”

GREAT realization of his own needs, if I do say so myself! But, it did not bode well for finishing a 322-page book. (And yes, I do know I’ve already mentioned that the book has 322 pages. It just seems to bear repeating.)

When we were getting ready to go to therapy today, I asked him to take his book and work on getting it done. He was on page 288, so I was moderately hopeful! After eating some lunch, he had a little while to read, and read the 12 pages to get to page 300.

He read 12 pages on the drive to therapy. That meant 22 pages to read on the way home. I wasn’t hopeful.

And then we started driving. He’d give me little progress reports. He’d peek out from behind the seat and say, “Page 304!” Or he’d comment about what was happening on page 307. As we sat in a little traffic, I realized we could maybe - just maybe - get this book finished…if…I took the long way home today.

And so I slowed down. I didn’t keep pace with people in the left or middle lane. Rather I slowed down to the speed of people in the slow lane. (Around here, that’s the lane where people *only* drive about 5 miles per hour *over* the speed limit. Not really “the slow lane”; I realize that.)

As it worked, there was an accident on a separate road and so it took longer to get to our exit, and I chose to view that as a blessing (in order to give him more time with his book) rather than to be frustrated that the drive home was taking even longer.

As we got closer to our neighborhood, I made the choice to stay on the main road rather than take a short cut. I had to chuckle when I rounded the big bend in the road, only to find out that we were behind a long school bus, which could not drive up the hills very quickly.

And so he read more pages.

And then we got to our town. In the spirit of really taking the long way home, I opted out of the final “shortcut” and drove through the center of town. We waited in a couple long lines of traffic at a red light, we had several stop signs on our route, and I drove down the final small hill at about 10 miles per hour. I went about as far out of my way as I could, while still trying to get us home.

He wasn’t finished.

I turned slowly into our driveway, disheartened because he hadn’t finished.

I put the van in park.

And then I heard, “I’m DONE,” and I saw the biggest I’ll-show-you-all-my-teeth-because-I’m-so-happy-this-is-DONE grin!

Several months, 322 pages, a great historical fiction book - DONE!

I hope he always remembers how happy he felt to have finished this book. I hope he feels pride in his effort, and that maybe, just maybe, he actually will remember some of what he read!

And though he won’t ever really know why he was successful at completing the book on this day, I will know.

I’ll know that it’s because I took the long way home today.

Share this:

Filed Under: everyday success, family focused, Individualized Education, intentional choices

The Goodness of One Simple Moment

September 24, 2024 By Rebekah 6

Many good things have happened in our home lately - many! I’m taking note of all the blessings. But last week? My heart. My heart has overflowed with the goodness of one simple moment.

I don’t write about the special needs aspect of our lives quite as much anymore, - at least, not the day-to-day of it, but there are some times when things need shared, and accomplishments need celebrated, and life needs to be valued.

When I was pregnant with Picasso, tests came back abnormal and there were all sorts of health issues, and we were given a choice.

THE choice.

To us, it was not a choice. Keeping the baby, despite the uncertainty of what may happen, was our decision, no matter what.

The first 5 years of his life really challenged our convictions in the “no matter what” of love.

I am a special education teacher by trade. My gut told me something was wrong, but I could not get a doctor to listen, to share my concerns, or to believe me, and so our choice to love, no matter what, was a struggle we ventured through on our own when we really should have had more help.

After a time, I crossed paths with another mom in the same situation and God used her in mighty ways to get to a point in my heart, and a therapy center, where I could begin to get help for my son.

When we started there 3.5 years ago, his reciprocal language scores were low. So very low. Maybe they never even fully developed. He didn’t know to look at people, he did not read facial expressions, he took no cues from others. He did not understand conversation, and he didn’t look at people talking to him, so he had no possible way of learning (or understanding) emotions.

His emotional development was also very far behind where it should be.

A lot of his therapy has centered around verbal and non-verbal cues, prompting to help him learn to LOOK at people when he’s interacting with them - to notice their facial expressions. From there he was supposed to try to recognize their facial expressions and then verbalize his recognition of facial expressions and other verbal or non-verbal cues. For example, did they look happy? sad? angry?

Last week, our daughter was doing an art project that was an extension of a lesson she had about Henri Matisse. She colored shapes, cut them out and glued them onto paper to make a beautiful scene. She then asked me where Matisse was buried. She said she wanted to take her picture to lay at his stone (that was her word for grave). Matisse would have been honored to receive that work!

My son was cutting shapes, too. As we often affectionately refer to him as Picasso because of his love for art, I was not surprised to find him joining in her project.

And then, there it was. Even now, my eyes fill with tears. My heart is full, so full.

I could not capture his words quickly enough, and typed through my tears. Later he permitted me to take some pictures, as he again described some of the most beautiful words I’ve ever heard from him.

You needed the background of what he has struggled with, as shared above, to understand and appreciate what happened. And while I don’t expect that you will have the same tear-filled, joy-overflowing response that I did, please “get” this. Please understand JUST how big this is:

He said, while manipulating shapes, “You can just FEEL his emotions, can’t you?!”

He once knew no emotions. He once recognized nothing pertaining to emotions.

And now he FEELS them?!?! That’s understanding on a whole other level!!!

He went on to manipulate pieces of paper, shapes he had cut out, into these forms, and labeled each picture - some as a type of person, some as an emotion.

Please, tell me you understand? It’s taken 3.5 years of therapy, and 9 years of his life, to know an emotion, understand an emotion. And now that he can create the emotion, it means he has internalized the meaning, the understanding of it, and knows the “why” behind the emotion.

I couldn’t capture the information quickly enough and then get it sent to the therapists. They all got back to me quickly and expressed their utter amazement! Then, at one of his sessions last week, apparently he made more faces, different faces.

He made sequencing plans with another therapist in order to have some “cooking homework”. He still struggles with small things like, “Put your pajamas on, brush your teeth and go to bed.” But now he’s starting to follow multi-step cooking directions, feeling more confident in his own abilities within life.

My heart. The joy we might have missed with this one, or any of our kids, if our decision-making had been any different.

Share this:

Filed Under: autism spectrum diagnosis, dealing with feelings, everyday success, gratitude and appreciation, real life, self-expression

A Man Called Poppy

July 6, 2024 By Rebekah 0

Last week I wrote about sending our son to kids’ camp, and how I was a little uncertain of how it would all go, mostly because of his special needs. As we do with most new things in life, we decided to give him the opportunity to preview the campground at his own pace. We decided to take a drive to the camp, since it’s just an hour from our home, to let him see where he will be spending the week. We drove around the grounds and didn’t really see anyone, but that was okay. We enjoyed a nice lunch at a local restaurant, and then decided to drive back and look at the camp one more time on our way home, just to make sure our son seemed okay with the lay of the land. It was then that we met Poppy.

If I were to tell Poppy he had been “an angel” on this journey, he would probably find some humble way to dismiss the comment and remind us that he was just a retired man who volunteers his time as the maintenance man at the campground. And while that is true, today, he was another person who is going to help make our son’s time at the camp one of the best weeks ever!

When we arrived back at the campground after lunch, we found Poppy’s son and granddaughter, and they pointed us to Poppy for questions about the buildings and the grounds. Poppy could have just answered our questions and that would have sufficed. But as we explained our guy’s issues and needs, Poppy decided that we should have a tour of the grounds, so we loaded up on his golf cart and away we went!

He took us into the hall where they have their chapel services - it’s a large building with garage doors on all sides, so it’s literally drive-through! He rang the bell so that our guy could hear the sound and know that meant that it was time for chapel. He showed us the trailer where he and his wife live, the snack shop and office, and many of the cabins that people own. He showed us the fire pit area where the campers will roast marshmallows and hot dogs, and his own special devotional spot at a bench under the trees. He took us to the building that is usually used for the boys during camp, and to the building on the other end of the property where the girls usually stay. We went into the dining room and met some of the ladies who are cooks for the camp. It turns out that Poppy has 6 sisters, and 5 work at the camp. The kitchen staff took an interest in our kids and asked about food likes/dislikes, and explained how the mealtimes work. We also met Dennis, who was chopping wood. Poppy told us we could remember his name by calling him Dennis the Menace, and of course the kids loved to hear that!

Poppy explained that most kids do fine at camp, but some start to get homesick on the second night. He said the counselors often send the kids to sit with Poppy, and I must have said something like, “Really?” I figured they would send them to a lady, thinking that would be like a mother figure to them. Poppy said he cries easily and so when the kids are crying, they visit Poppy and he cries right along with them. No kidding!

We saw the pool and playground area, and - our son’s favorite - the field where they set up for archery classes. At a different convention earlier this year, our guy heard they have archery lessons at camp, and he’s been wanting to go ever since. Sure enough, Poppy showed us the hay bales that they set up for archery classes, so the arrows hit the hay and don’t just fly into the road or into the woods.

My one regret? I didn’t take a picture of Poppy and our guy. I hope to remedy that on Monday when we drop our guy off for camp, and then add that to this post. (UPDATED - photo is included now!)

A man called Poppy - maybe simply a retired man who offers his services as a maintenance man. For our family, though, Poppy is an angel that God sent to us to help ensure that we all feel prepared for camp this week! Thanks, Poppy - I know our guy will have a wonderful adventure at camp, and that you’ll be there, watching out for him!

Share this:

Filed Under: anxiety and autism, dealing with feelings, everyday success, having faith in God, Hope, special needs family, summer fun

5 Things to Know about the Mother of a Child with Autism, Part 3

April 15, 2025 By Rebekah 0

This is the third in a series of five posts dealing with things to know about the mother of a child with autism (relevant for any set of special needs). The full text to this series is authored by Amy Fenton Lee, is being used with permission, and can be found at the blog for The Inclusive Church.

I particularly enjoyed reading this portion of Amy Fenton Lee’s blog. This section of the blog deals with everyday feelings that mothers have, but also with how church ministry leaders can help parents of children with autism to overcome fears and have their children actively participating in church activities.

Part 3: She fears exclusion.
Few things feel as threatening to a mother as does something that jeopardizes others’ love for and acceptance of her child. The autism diagnosis is that big, bad label that justifiably feeds a mother’s greatest fears for her son or daughter.
*Will he sit alone at the lunch table for the rest of his school career?
*Will she ever be invited to a birthday party?

When children’s ministry teams understand this fear of exclusion, they can better understand why so many parents choose not to reveal their child’s diagnosis to the church. While some parents worry that the church may refuse care for their child, oftentimes the fear of peer rejection is an even greater deterrent to disclosure.

I think that any mom (or dad) can understand the feelings described in the first part of the excerpt from Amy’s blog. That seems to be a fear over which a lot of parents I know, express concern. However, knowing some parents of children with autism, and having worked in special education, I agree with Amy - the label of “Autism” does make a parent more concerned with how his or her child will be accepted.

The reality is that autism is becoming so much more common. Depending what you read, the stats are anywhere from 1 in every 88 kids, to 1 in 50 school children. That’s why awareness and education is of the utmost importance. People need to understand what autism is, how it affects an individual and their family, and that autism is a different type of “normal”.

The second part of the excerpt deals with children’s ministry teams in churches. So much needs to be done to refocus how children’s ministries work, in light of the prevalence of autism in today’s society. I’m not necessarily meaning that we need to change the ministry, but that we need to “teach the teachers” how to help our kids. Amy’s blog lists some wonderful ways to do that. I’d recommend you just hit the link and read what she has to say on this topic.

Tim & I are blessed to be part of a church with a wonderful children’s ministry. The teachers know and care for the kids. We have explained, to some extent, our guy’s issues so that the teachers can be aware. There is definitely room for growth in terms of teaching the teachers how to work with special needs children. But it’s wonderful when you can say to the teachers, “It’s not that my kid isn’t listening; it’s that they learn differently” and then find that the teachers are actively pursuing more information on the particular needs, to help your child.

With autism and so many other special needs, there is a real need for the child to be involved socially in their peer group - not just to show up, but to actively participate. As parents, we have to make sure that people understand HOW to help our kids. We don’t want to fear exclusion; we want to know that our kids are participating and being included!

Did you miss the first two parts? You can catch up here:

Part 1 - She may feel relief from a diagnosis
Part 2 - Grief vs. Hope

Share this:

Filed Under: autism spectrum diagnosis, dealing with feelings, everyday success, special needs family Tagged With: mother of a child with autism

Choosing the Priorities

April 12, 2025 By Rebekah 12

Wife. Mom. Friend. Scheduler. Cook. Cleaner. Teacher. Encourager. These are just a few of the things that make up who I am, and at times, they are all competing for a top spot and I get stuck on how to sort it all out and successfully be and do all that is before me. Of course you know - as well as I do - that we cannot be and do everything. So how do we choose? How do we correctly and successfully choose the priorities that need to get done? Yes, I really am going to tell you how to do it all, so keep reading!

I often think through what needs to be done and I start with the most important, or the one that needs to be done the soonest. And then I continue on in that manner, getting the important things accomplished. However, this method rarely helps me to get everything accomplished and is more likely to leave me frustrated, upset when my kids interrupt me, and aggravated that their aren’t enough hours in the day.

If working in order of importance doesn’t help me to see everything get completed, then what am I supposed to do? If my intent is to be real here, then I will tell you that what I usually do is run around trying to get as much done as I possibly can. This drives me crazy, though, and the amount of stress it adds to our home is not good.

So what’s the answer, because I did promise you an answer. The answer is to choose the correct priorities - not just to prioritize what has to be done, but to step back and make sure that your priorities are even correct in the first place. What should our priorities be?

*God
*Family
*Others

I find when I’m rushing and trying to be the one who does it all, I come up short every time. Sometimes I cheat myself out of some good rest at night by staying up too late to do things. Other times, I cheat my family out of quality time together because my mind is going a thousand miles per hour trying to organize and get done all that must be accomplished.

That makes it sound like my priorities are wrong to begin with. If God is my first priority, my life isn’t going to be reckless and haphazard, because “God is not a God of disorder, but of peace….” (I Corinthians 14: 33) If my life is causing me chaos, confusion and conflict, then I need to step back and check my priorities. My life - my days, my lists, my priorities - should begin and end with God. Maybe that means some time in the Word first thing in the morning, or working on a new memory verse, or some quiet prayer time. It could mean ending the day with any of those as well - the point is, that the day should start and end with God.

Family should be our next priority - the physical, mental, emotional, spiritual health of those in our household. How are we focused on caring for those whom God has placed right inside our four walls? My first commitment inside my home is to my husband. I am his helper - how are my priorities reflecting that? Maybe it means that I need to tackle that pile of ironing as a blessing to him. Maybe it means leaving an encouraging note tucked into a book he’s reading, as a reminder of how much I value all he does for us. Maybe it means sitting and listening intently as he describes various aspects of his job that I don’t understand - but I can ask questions to gain insight and to express my recognition of his work and his worth.

After focusing on my husband, my children’s needs are the next priority. As a mother, I know the importance of nourishing healthy bodies and strong minds, but if I’m overlooking the spiritual growth, I am not giving my all. I need to encourage and nourish every part of their well-being, and that takes time and energy each day.

After we have started the day with God, and have focused on our family, we can move onto the parts of our lives where we consider the needs of others. I think this is a part that many of us over-value. And even as I type that last sentence, I’m sitting here saying, “Ouch!” I know that I often over-value this aspect in life. Moms - doesn’t life seem small sometimes? Don’t you feel like maybe you should be out solving problems in the neighborhood, or the state, or even the world? I know I feel stuck in the mundane of the day-to-day: teaching the kids, dishes, laundry - where is my “ministry to others”?

What a sad mistake to overlook those in our own home, in the name of “ministry to others”. God, in ALL His wisdom, put us in the home He did, with the family we have, for a reason. How are we to expect our own families to grow up and be capable of “ministry to others” if we don’t see, or take, the opportunity to minister to them? How are we ministering to our spouses and our children? Joyfully? Diligently? And here’s the scary one…are we ministering to them as unto the Lord? I know I’m guilty of not always taking those opportunities, or not ministering with the proper attitude. But I’ve also seen the benefit of doing it correctly - the joy, the peace, the security that comes from knowing they are as important, no, more important than any outside ministry. How effective would I look in a ministry to others, if I was neglecting my own family? That doesn’t mean that my family has to have it all together. Not by any means! The idea of neglect, in any situation, implies continual and willful dismissal of, or ignoring of, needs. It doesn’t imply a lack of perfection in the situation, but rather a lack of attention to the situation. So we don’t need to worry about our families looking perfect (’cause mine sure is a big mess some days!), but we do need to be sure to be caring for their needs, not overlooking them. When we stand before God someday, He’s going to be interested in our ministry, sure, but He’s also going to be interested in how we cared for those whom He placed right in our own homes.

So in a world that’s seeking to pull us in many different directions, with ministry opportunities at every turn, with more things to do than our 24 hours each day might allow, how do we correctly and successfully prioritize what needs to get done? By making sure our first priority is correct - God. Jeremiah 29:13 - “You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart.” When we get Priority Number One correctly in place, He will help guide us through all that we have to do. It may mean that we step back from some things we feel we need to do, or maybe hand them off to the next person who is prepared to take over. It may mean we have to give up something if God is showing us that it’s not in line with the priorities that He has for our lives. It may mean that new opportunities will present themselves as we seek God.

Whatever the case may be, though, we can know that God is placing HIS best into our lives, for a reason, and we can trust Him for the blessing. God - seek God diligently for what He has for you, for how He wants to use you to minister to others. Family - encourage, nourish, help, bless those whom God has already given to you. Others - minister as God leads, serve where God places you, but remember that this area is third in the list of priorities, not first or second.

Sharing this post at -

Christian Mommy Blogger
A Royal Daughter
Worthy of the Prize
Love Bakes Good Cakes
Teachers of Good Things

Share this:

Filed Under: daily blessings, everyday success

Can We Be Real? Part 2

April 11, 2025 By Rebekah 6

Can We Be Real? Part 2 - Craving Real Friendships

Do you have a lot of friends, or just a few? Do you thrive on hanging out with all the friends, or having coffee with just a few? How about those friends who are in it for the nitty-gritty of life - do you have a lot of those friends or is that a smaller group?

I genuinely enjoy all my friends, and I love the opportunities to spend time with everyone! But I’ve noticed that I, personally, prefer just a few friends for the “nitty-gritty” of life - for letting down my guard and being real, for forming solid friendships.

I crave those moments to be the real me, with just a small group of friends. Here’s an example - a rough one, but still, an example. I don’t really prefer shoes, but it’s socially acceptable to show up to a church small group wearing *something* on your feet…unfortunately. So I try to comply. But in “real me” fashion, I found a way around the shoe thing in the winter. I chose to wear slippers as often as possible. I wouldn’t do that if I was going to an all-church get-together, but I could do that with our small group - ones with whom we can be real.

For me, the large group activities are wonderful, and so much fun - baby or wedding showers, parties, things like that. I crave the smaller social activities, though, to be able to be real - whether I want to wear slippers, or if things are going well and we want to share good news with friends, or if we’re struggling through some issues and need people to pray with us.

In being a friend to others, I find that the smaller settings - whether it’s coffee with friends, a meeting at church, or time at the playground with friends and their kids - give me a great opportunity to get to know more about people. I would prefer having in-depth conversations with a few friends, rather than making small talk in a large group.

For a long time, we struggled with the concept of small groups at our church because it was so difficult for us to attend with our son’s special needs. A few months ago, a group was starting that would meet at the church. This seemed ideal because our son was familiar with the surroundings, liked the others who would be there, knew the general rules, and would hopefully cope. As our church has been experiencing some extreme growth, we’ve been so blessed to hook into a small group where we can form solid friendships. It’s true, as I’ve been learning in various meetings, that the church needs to grow smaller as it grows larger. We’ve been blessed with a great group of friends at our small group.

It seems pretty obvious, but I think about the example Jesus gave us. He was genuinely interested in everyone, but had his group of 12 disciples that were his close friends. How about you - because I know everyone isn’t the same as me - do you crave the smaller groups or do you thrive on larger get-togethers? Both definitely have their place, but I certainly enjoy the opportunity to spend time with smaller groups of friends.

Did you miss Part 1? Click here to read it.

This post is being shared at:

*My Turn For Us , Create With Joy , Katherine’s Corner

Share this:

Filed Under: everyday success, special needs family Tagged With: being authentic

Sunday Son-shine

April 7, 2025 By Rebekah 0

Happy Sunday! The Sunday Son-shine posts are going to serve as a mini-devotional, or a collection of verses to read and meditate on through the day.

Sunday has become a favorite day in our home. Not too long ago, we struggled to get our middle guy to go to church. That was shortly before we discovered his issues with auditory processing. When we realized that he was struggling due to the processing issues, it became much easier to help him and therefore much easier to get all of us to church.

Additionally, there are some great things happening at our church. We’re seeing new people every week, we’re having a good number of people making decisions for salvation and baptism. We’re seeing whole families coming, and bringing their friends. Sundays are a wonderful time to be together and worship!

For today, I’m posting a few of my favorite verses. These are ones that have been special to me for many years. I pray that they are an encouragement to you.

Psalm 27:13 - I remain confident of this: I will see the goodness of the LORD in the land of the living.

Psalm 84:10 - Better is one day in your courts than a thousand elsewhere; I would rather be a doorkeeper in the house of my God than dwell in the tents of the wicked.

Ephesians 3:14-21 - For this reason I kneel before the Father, from whom every family in heaven and on earth derives its name. I pray that out of his glorious riches he may strengthen you with power through his Spirit in your inner being, so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith. And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the Lord’s holy people, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge—that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God. Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen.

Jude 24,25 - To him who is able to keep you from stumbling and to present you before his glorious presence without fault and with great joy—to the only God our Savior be glory, majesty, power and authority, through Jesus Christ our Lord, before all ages, now and forevermore! Amen.

Do you have any favorite verses? I’d love for you to leave one or two in the comments so others can read through them.

Enjoy a blessed Sunday, friends!

Share this:

Filed Under: everyday success, Sunday Son-shine

The Smile of The Knowing

November 23, 2024 By Rebekah 0

Sometimes things hit me at random times - today’s post came out of thoughts I was having today, Thanksgiving, about something that happened about 3.5 months ago.

First, though, this is late and most of you will probably not read it until tomorrow. I hope you’ve had a wonderful Thanksgiving with family and friends!

On to the smile of the knowing….

In early August I took our youngest two kids for hair cuts. Because of Picasso’s issues, I never am too far away when he’s getting his hair trimmed. He’s doing a lot better, but still…I stay near enough. The lady cutting his hair was talking to him and to me, asking about school, activities, etc. He mentioned something he’d been working on in therapy. Almost immediately, she nodded her head, smiled, and gave a kind look that I am coming to know a little better.

The smile of the knowing.

As we talked a little more, she began to talk of her own son, of his schooling, and of respite opportunities that arise. Respite? Mm-hmmm. It turns out her son has a form of autism as well. And that explained it - that explained the smile of the knowing.

As we travel this journey and make small steps out into life, and to places where we don’t often venture, I’m finding it more and more. When people used to glance our way, I used to bristle and prepare to go to battle with them. That doesn’t happen so much anymore, because I’m realizing the glances aren’t usually so negative anymore. Or maybe it’s that I’m not as insecure about our life, our guy, our struggles. Or both. In fact, more frequently, when people glance our way, it truly seems to be with the smile of the knowing.

It’s like we can find those similar to us in a group. Those who stop and smile seem to be those who know - those who know that I’m not dealing with a child with behavior issues, but rather with a child who feels, thinks and sometimes acts differently. They seem to understand that he walks to the beat of a different drummer, and they don’t seem to be bashing me, with their looks, for being a bad parent. There seems to be some sort of awareness, by those who know the journey, and we seem to find each other out there - wherever “there” is. The smiles are softer, the looks are of genuine care and sincerity, but they are the knowing - those who know that a quick trip to the drug store can leave you feeling like you’ve done battle. Or that a regular trip to church on Sunday, like every other Sunday, can leave you wondering why you push for the family to go to church. The knowing.

I’m thankful for them - for those who take a minute to give a silent “pat on the back” from across the room. They are the cheering section that God plants at the store when I feel like I’m at the end of my rope. They are the champions for my guy who seem to sense that he needs more time and so they are extra patient as he launches into a story, or as he attempts to figure out the change needed when he pays with his own money.

The smile of the knowing. How very comforting to know that others understand and can be supportive of our ventures, adventures, and even our misadventures.

Today I am thankful for those who know. For those who try to know and understand. It encourages me to try even harder to be the same for others who need the silent champions, the appreciative cheering squad, the extra patience and understanding.

If you see us out there, whether it’s our family, or others like us, let me tell you - the smile of the knowing goes such a long way to encourage us!

Share this:

Filed Under: autism spectrum diagnosis, dealing with feelings, everyday success, parenting

This Week’s Big Success

July 27, 2024 By Rebekah 3

I like to prepare my kids for things, as best as I can. For example, if we’re going to the doctor, we’ll talk about the office, the things they have there, which professional we’ll see, etc. I find that it works better with our guy with Asperger Syndrome, but it’s one of those things that has benefited all 3 kids.This week was different, though. This week I purposely did not prepare my son for what he would encounter at therapy. Now, to be clear, I never lied to him - not once. However, I just did not prepare him.On Monday, our Speech/Language therapist had to cancel because her own child was sick. No problem - these things happen. She had an hour open on Wednesday and it was the 10-11am hour. We’re there on Wednesdays from 11am-1pm, so we agreed to the 10am slot so we could get our make-up session out of the way.

So the plan on Wednesday was that he’d have Speech from 10-11, then Occupational Therapy (OT) from 11-12noon, then his Social Skills/Emotional Processing session from 12-1pm. The only glitch? His therapist for the 12-1pm hour is away and the she’s his favorite. The one who would be filling in for her is the one with whom he has not gotten along, so many times in the past. So. Many. Times. She had the dubious distinction of doing his initial OT evaluation a year and a half ago. Since then, (because that eval was the most difficult and took the longest amount of time) he’s had a hard time working with her. He started working with her in March 2011, and she removed herself from his team in the summer or fall because he just couldn’t progress emotionally. We never asked her to remove herself; she told us that was what she wanted to do, to give him a chance to work with someone else and see if that would help him progress.

He still struggles from time to time - he’ll make progress to a certain point, and then he’ll get stuck. At those points, we re-think all of what we’re doing with him, and try to shake things up a little to try and get him going again. He’s making some good progress overall, the “stuck times” force us a little farther in thinking outside the box.

Recently, he’s started talking about this therapist again. Out of the blue one day, he asked, “Why don’t I work with Miss Jane anymore?” (Not her real name.) I was driving all the kids to his therapy session on that day & just chuckled to myself. Clearly, he didn’t remember how poorly some sessions went, and that he wouldn’t even make it through an hour with her some days. So I said, “Um, uh, well….” I was going to say something like, “She had a lot of other friends to play with and wanted to give you a turn to play with another therapist.” I was prepared to say something along those lines. However, Little Princess piped up and said, “Don’t you remember? You didn’t like Miss Jane. You never liked playing in her room.” To which he replied, “Ohhhh, yeah.” I had quite the chuckle!

Anyway, he’s been talking about Miss Jane lately. Out of the blue. It’s almost as though he’s processing through that time when they worked together, all those months ago. Recently, he said, “I love everybody in my life!” I jumped on that and said, “Even Miss Jane?” L-O-N-G P-A-U-S-E. Long, long pause. Finally, “Yes, even Miss Jane.” But, boy did he think about it before he answered!

Anyway, back to Wednesday, I did not tell him that he was working with Miss Jane. I didn’t want to add anxiety to the two hours he had to get through before he worked with Miss Jane. I talked about how I was glad that he could be flexible with the schedule, adding the extra hour before his regularly-scheduled two hours. When we got to therapy, I asked him to tell me who he was working with, so that I knew he had it in mind correctly. He listed all 3 therapists, but named his favorite one as the one he’d work with for the final hour.

First two hours came and went, without incident. And then I saw Miss Jane walk to get my guy. I breathed a silent prayer that this would go well - that he wouldn’t struggle through the final hour. Miss Jane walked in and said that the usual therapist was away and that they would be together for this hour. He walked out of the one room and came right over to me. “Miss Amanda (not her real name) is away and I’m going with Miss Jane.” He had a brief look of fear in his eyes. I supported his statement of going to Miss Jane’s room and he walked right down the hall with her.

I went to pick him up at the end of the hour and he had a good session! It was a lot better than when they worked together last year. On the drive home, I intended to ask him what his favorite part of the day had been. I said, “What did you most like…” and he cut me off before I could say “What did you most like about your time today?” He shouted - SHOUTED! - “I liked PLAYING WITH MISS JANE!” I was shocked. He wasn’t just saying it to say it, I think he really enjoyed an opportunity to spend some time with her again!

Share this:

Filed Under: anxiety and autism, autism spectrum diagnosis, everyday success

Believing in our Significance

What if we did believe these words about ourselves?

That’s it. Right there.

God put us here, in this day, for a purpose!

If we believe God, can we trust His plan for our lives?

But if we grasp our significance here,
with a strong heart-knowledge, we just may change the world.

I Took the Long Way Home Today

The Goodness of One Simple Moment

A Man Called Poppy

5 Things to Know about the Mother of a Child with Autism, Part 3

Choosing the Priorities

Can We Be Real? Part 2

Sunday Son-shine

The Smile of The Knowing

This Week’s Big Success

Welcome!

Subscribe to Blog via Email

Follow me on Pinterest

Facebook

Blog Button

Contributor at

Proud Member of

Archives

Top Posts & Pages

Connect With Me

What if we did believe these words about ourselves?

That’s it. Right there.

God put us here, in this day, for a purpose!

If we believe God, can we trust His plan for our lives?

But if we grasp our significance here, with a strong heart-knowledge, we just may change the world.

Welcome!

Subscribe to Blog via Email

Follow me on Pinterest

Facebook

Blog Button

Contributor at

Proud Member of

Archives

Top Posts & Pages

But if we grasp our significance here,
with a strong heart-knowledge, we just may change the world.