family focused Archives - Journeying Outside My Box

Irresistible Motherhood

March 11, 2025 By Rebekah 1

A stillness settled over the house as we gave hugs, kisses and tucked three children into bed.

Children - even the word seems childish as I tuck 3 tall bodies into beds made for grown ups.

Two boys, and then a girl. The girl. She’s taken her rightful place as younger sister to two big brothers. She can hold her own in an argument, but will ask her brothers for a hug every morning and every night. She lets the oldest one give her a piggy-back ride up the stairs, and she lets the older one brush her hair (only on rare occasions, but it has happened).

Only the nighttime lights shine - all other upstairs lights have been turned off for the night. There is the faint glow from night lights and the beautiful twinkle of lights across her headboard. And as we tuck her in, there are promises for new adventures tomorrow, reminders of how much Jesus loves us, the reminder that while she may be the younger sister to two big brothers, she’s still my little girl.

“I just can’t resist you. I need to give you one more hug,” she says.

I’m a lot of things to many people in this world
- daughter, sister, wife, mom, friend, teacher, helper, encourager -
but there is not another soul on this earth who tells me, almost daily, that they just can’t resist me.

As it turns out, I can’t resist her wild grin and her face framed by little ringlets, begging for just one more hug and kiss goodnight.

Irresistible motherhood.

Scratchy throats, runny noses, coughs and sneezes. These have been unwelcomed visitors in our home the past few days.

The stillness of bedtime was just settling into every corner of the house.

My mind wanders: It used to be that she would sleep with so many stuffed animals in her crib that she hardly had room for herself.

Feet on the stairs, interrupting the stillness.

A small hand, holding tightly to Raggedy Ann. Complaints of the sore throat, and asking for the dreaded spray that might bring relief. Reaching, no grabbing desperately, for my hand to hold while I administered the awful-tasting, throat-soothing spray. I couldn’t say no.

Irresistible motherhood.

A lifetime of pink and purple that we never expected, wrapped up into the first 7.5 years of her life.

No more cribs, no more rails on the side to keep her in the bed, just reminders of how quickly time flies, everywhere I look.

Long, wavy hair, chapter books on the shelves, praise music in the CD player. Fewer “little girl toys” and a room taken over by toys that big girls like.

More hair accessories than I’ve ever owned in my whole life. More stuffed dogs than I’ve ever seen, because she “was made to love dogs” and so I can’t help but buy them for her.

And she comes down to ask me for help when she’s got a need.

I’m pretty sure that, in the grand scheme of things, while I’m curing sore throats and holding scared hands, I’m actually the one receiving the blessing.

Because really, this part of my life can be summed up in two words:

Irresistible Motherhood.

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Filed Under: family focused, parenting

I Took the Long Way Home Today

November 13, 2024 By Rebekah 10

I probably could have been home twenty minutes earlier if I had kept up with traffic, and taken the shorter route home. I took the long way home today, though. Things have been a little up in the air for me lately, but that’s not why I drove more slowly and took turns that would make our trip longer.

Today I wanted to get home. I had things I wanted to do after my son’s two hours of therapy and then an hour drive home. As a parent, though, it’s not always about me.

My 3rd grader has to read several novels this year. Honestly, this is one of the hardest parts of our schooling venture as reading comprehension is such a struggle for him. His list of novels includes some that I knew would be a little too easy, and some that would definitely be too hard.

He chose Johnny Tremain as one of his novels to read. It is such a great piece of literature and really makes the Boston Tea Party and the Revolutionary War era come alive for young minds!

However, I knew, going into it, that this book would be one that was much too hard for him, in terms of comprehension. He seemed determined, though, even if he could only read 1 or 2 pages at a time. We had the novel list over the summer, and he actually started this book in August.

322 pages of Revolutionary War era historical fiction - it doesn’t get much better for a young boy who loves to study about wars, guns, the effects on culture and economy, and so forth. However, at only 1-2 pages at a time? This book was bordering on torture for me - constant reminders to please read a few more pages.

“Try to finish a section,” I begged, “and maybe even a whole chapter!”

Only to be met with, “No possible way! This book is too hard for me to read too much of at one time.”

GREAT realization of his own needs, if I do say so myself! But, it did not bode well for finishing a 322-page book. (And yes, I do know I’ve already mentioned that the book has 322 pages. It just seems to bear repeating.)

When we were getting ready to go to therapy today, I asked him to take his book and work on getting it done. He was on page 288, so I was moderately hopeful! After eating some lunch, he had a little while to read, and read the 12 pages to get to page 300.

He read 12 pages on the drive to therapy. That meant 22 pages to read on the way home. I wasn’t hopeful.

And then we started driving. He’d give me little progress reports. He’d peek out from behind the seat and say, “Page 304!” Or he’d comment about what was happening on page 307. As we sat in a little traffic, I realized we could maybe - just maybe - get this book finished…if…I took the long way home today.

And so I slowed down. I didn’t keep pace with people in the left or middle lane. Rather I slowed down to the speed of people in the slow lane. (Around here, that’s the lane where people *only* drive about 5 miles per hour *over* the speed limit. Not really “the slow lane”; I realize that.)

As it worked, there was an accident on a separate road and so it took longer to get to our exit, and I chose to view that as a blessing (in order to give him more time with his book) rather than to be frustrated that the drive home was taking even longer.

As we got closer to our neighborhood, I made the choice to stay on the main road rather than take a short cut. I had to chuckle when I rounded the big bend in the road, only to find out that we were behind a long school bus, which could not drive up the hills very quickly.

And so he read more pages.

And then we got to our town. In the spirit of really taking the long way home, I opted out of the final “shortcut” and drove through the center of town. We waited in a couple long lines of traffic at a red light, we had several stop signs on our route, and I drove down the final small hill at about 10 miles per hour. I went about as far out of my way as I could, while still trying to get us home.

He wasn’t finished.

I turned slowly into our driveway, disheartened because he hadn’t finished.

I put the van in park.

And then I heard, “I’m DONE,” and I saw the biggest I’ll-show-you-all-my-teeth-because-I’m-so-happy-this-is-DONE grin!

Several months, 322 pages, a great historical fiction book - DONE!

I hope he always remembers how happy he felt to have finished this book. I hope he feels pride in his effort, and that maybe, just maybe, he actually will remember some of what he read!

And though he won’t ever really know why he was successful at completing the book on this day, I will know.

I’ll know that it’s because I took the long way home today.

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Filed Under: everyday success, family focused, Individualized Education, intentional choices

Dear Weary Mom {Stop Comparing}

August 23, 2024 By Rebekah 0

Dear Weary Mom,

As moms, don’t you find that we’re always comparing our kids and ourselves to other families? It’s so unfair, and can be so painful at times, yet we keep doing it. We believe that God created our children as He did, for a reason. And we might even believe that He created us the way He did, for a reason.

Dear Weary Mom {Stop Comparing}

But along with that, God already knew what kind of mother we would be, and gave us many of our strengths and traits to be used as mothers. What if we believe that He created us to be the mothers that we are, for a reason? Yes, we should all be learning and growing as mothers, but what if we believe that our mothering gifts and abilities come from God?

Wouldn’t that be freeing, in a sense? You and I could be free from the comparison to other moms, and to other families, which ultimately leads to physical and mental (and sometimes even spiritual) exhaustion.

Our greatest comparison would only be to see if we are matching up to what God has called us to be.

And sisters, becoming who God has created us to be
is a life-long adventure!

Let’s focus on our motherhood. Let’s find some quiet time, and ask God how we are measuring up to what He wants us to be, as mothers. Ask Him to mold you into the mother He wants you to be.

God promises that we will receive, we only need to ask.

Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find;
knock and the door will be opened to you.
-Matthew 7:7

I’d encourage us (yes, me too) to write down any words, phrases or thoughts that God gives you as you pray about your mothering. Put them around your house as a reminder of your time with God. Pray over those words. Ask God to show you more of what He has planned with those words. Ask for growth in those areas.

dearwearymom_button_white Moms, take your eyes off of others, and fix them only on God. Stop comparing your family to anyone else’s family; God is calling us all to different things, so it does not make sense to compare. Only measure your family against what God is calling you to, and ask God for more of Himself in your family, and in your mothering.

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Filed Under: authenticity, character traits, Dear Weary Mom, family focused, finding peace, parenting

Dream Big Dreams {For Our Children}

August 7, 2024 By Rebekah 2

Being married to a man who is a dreamer and visionary, we talk about big dreams a lot. As we’ve had children, we’ve talked about dreaming big dreams for our children. A sense of fear seems to pervade my attempts to dream big, even for our children. It’s not a fear of my own lack of success, but a fear that we might set them up to possibly fail. Not intentionally, of course, but along with my own fear of failure, I think I project that onto my dreaming for them.

Dreaming Big Dreams

Yesterday I shared about dreaming big dreams and a few requests that I made of God at the beginning of my blogging journey. Were my dreams big enough? It seems that I dream with some fear attached to it - a fear of failure. It’s completely self-inflicted because my parents were wonderful at encouraging my pursuits. I think the fear came with my own notion that “perfection” is the goal. How wrong that was! I think I’m so goal-oriented that “dream” and “goal” have been interchangeable in my own mind, and I realize they should not always be used in the same manner. I’m working to change that.

Dreaming Big Dreams {For Our Children}

I’ve watched as my husband has spent time with our children, sharing some of his dreams for them. His way of thinking is so opposite of mine sometimes (ok, maybe a lot of the time!), but he conveys his dreams for them with no fear attached. He has a way of making dreams, goals, and achievement seem exciting! He also has a wonderful ability to convey how to achieve those dreams. But, he doesn’t consider failure attached to a dream - he just sees the dream as an ultimate possibility.

My own recovering-perfectionist spirit used to try to remind him that he may be setting them up for failure by sharing some of his big dreams for them.

He has never accepted the idea that he may be setting them up for failure. (Wise man!)

He has reminded me that if we don’t teach our children to dream, we are, in essence, telling them that mediocrity is okay.

What a great lesson for him to remind me of - mediocrity is not the goal. And just as we sat with them through attempts at talking, walking, bike-riding, schooling, we need to sit with them at their attempts to learn to do their best. And even in their attempts to learn to dream big dreams.

We’re learning - and some of you seasoned parents already know this - that we have to open our children’s eyes to possibilities for what they can do in life. As they grow into their gifts and talents, then their likes and dislikes, and strengths and weaknesses, will begin to shine through, and we’ll be better-equipped to know what direction to guide them. We also have to continue to remind them to be following what they feel God has for them. Making life-choices should always start and end with prayer.

My husband has been providing a good example of what I mean by opening our children’s eyes to the possibilities of what they can do. Our kids are all musically inclined. Our oldest, nicknamed Mozart because, well, it fits, has been taking piano lessons for over 5 years now. And he’s good. (Must brag a little!)

When he was younger, there was a little discussion of continuing to take lessons, and maybe working toward music as a big part of his life. As he has gotten older, their discussion has become more fine-tuned to various things he can do with his gift and talent if he continues to pursue it - composing, teaching, musical groups, things like that. We’ve also shared more piano music with him, so that he can hear some of the best pianists at work!

Dreaming His Own Dream

The result has been that we now have a teenager who has a better grasp on what he wants to do with his life.

His intent is to pursue music through high school and college. I love that!

But do you know what I love even more? He knows what he needs to do to reach that goal.

And that’s what I love most: He’s doing what he needs to do to take steps toward achieving his goal! His practice time has increased substantially. His effort is matching his practice time - he is working hard!

Big Dreams and Big Prayer

As Tim and I dream big dreams for our children, we’re able to share those with them and teach them the steps to take in dreaming their own big dreams. Our prayers for them take on new depth as we pray for them to always hear God louder than anything else (even us!), and that they would stay close to Jesus and share His love with those along their path.

And if I’m being bold, then I’ll let you in on a bit of our dream and say this:
We hope to see you at a concert hall someday
where our Mozart will play from the music of the Mozart, to many eager hearts!

In case you missed the previous post:
Part 1: Dream Big Dreams
and you can also find
Part 3: God’s Big Dreams {For Your Life}

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Filed Under: big dreams, family focused, goals, parenting, prayer, real life

Dream Big Dreams

August 6, 2024 By Rebekah 0

Do you dream big dreams? Do you have some big goals in life? Do you find it easy to dream your dreams? Do you dream big dreams for your family, your children, your friends, your church? When do you dream your dreams - in good times or bad? Why do you dream your dreams - because you’re hoping for more, or because you’re shooting for the stars?

My husband is a dreamer, no doubt about it. I love that he enjoys shooting for the stars! I feel very much like a realist when I compare his dreaming ability to my own. And as I’ve been thinking about this lately, I think that for me, there’s almost a fear of failure tied to dreaming big dreams. If I dream, try, and fail, then the perfectionist in me is extremely frustrated. But if I just keep going along in life, and meeting goals, then I feel very successful. But am I missing out on dreaming big dreams? (Yes, I think so!) This is the first of several posts that will focus on dreaming big dreams!

This blog was a big dream. As I started it, I asked God for His words to fill these “pages” (this was my first request). I also asked God for a few other things - the option of writing for one or two other sites (my second request), and the ability to contribute to an e-book before working on what may someday be my own book (my third request). I started this blog in March, and made these 3 requests of God around the same time. This blog has been “live” for just over 4 months, and those requests were my big dreams.

blog title

Guess what? They’ve ALL been answered. Request one - God continues to fill these pages. I often sit down with a particular idea in mind, and God changes it to something slightly different, to bless me, or a reader. Request 2 - I write at several other websites. You can find them by Writing Contributions tab at the top of this page. Request 3 - I am contributing a chapter to a book. More information to come on that. I’m thrilled that God has answered all of these - THRILLED!

But really, the next question is, now what? My dreams - the dreams that I thought were big dreams - are all answered. As a friend said, “You’re going to have to dream bigger dreams!”

I think I’m still really learning how to dream big dreams, and push my fear of failure to the side. I have a lot more to say about this, so I think I’m going to make it a separate post. I’m still praying over my own big dreams, and our big dreams as a couple and as a family. We’ll talk more about that in the next post. In the meantime, you can join us on Facebook for more discussion about dreaming big dreams.

UPDATE:
You can read part 2 here: Dream Big Dreams {For Our Children}
and part 3 here: God’s Big Dreams {For Your Life}

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Filed Under: family focused, goals, having faith in God, real life Tagged With: dream big dreams

Preparing to Let Them Go . . . and being okay with that

July 2, 2024 By Rebekah 2

I’m realizing more and more each day, that my children are growing up. This summer, especially, we’re realizing that all of our parenting efforts are leading to times like this - where we’re preparing to let them go. While that is a good and right goal, it hit me recently that I need to be okay with opportunities to let them go, and let them begin to spread their wings while still in the safety of our family.

let them go

I’ve been thinking a lot about all of this as a week of church camp for each of our boys has been on the calendar. Our older son went away last year, called us once or twice, and I was nervous the whole time. This year, as he prepared to go again, we had a lot of good conversations about the right things to do, the way to behave, interaction with friends and leaders, and I realized that he loves this opportunity for time away, to learn and grow. And so I’m not worrying too much that he isn’t calling home this week. I know he’s having a great time!

cornfield But then, there’s this guy - see that face? I know - I can hardly see it either. We have spent the 9 years since he was born, trying to help him in one way or another. From early feeding issues, to a then-unknown speech and language problem, to wondering if he could actually hear or not, to countless nights where he couldn’t (or sometimes, wouldn’t) sleep - we have been there.

We’ve chased him into and out of water, we’ve taken unsafe things out of his hands and put safe things into his hands. We’ve followed him up and down mountains. We’ve cleaned up Sharpie off the walls, and then went and hid all those markers. Until we gave them back and let him create masterpieces in appropriate ways. We’ve been through meltdowns and put life on hold. We’ve gone from being loved one minute, to extremely disliked in the next. We’ve tweaked all areas of life in an effort to make sure he was safe and could function within it. We’ve endured sleepless nights, sleepless days, and then pushed repeat on that cycle for days on end. We’ve visited places before appointments, in order to make sure he knew he’d be safe there. We’ve practiced what to do, when to do it, and how to be sure we could cope. We’ve gently corralled the occasional sleep-walker. We’ve arrived late, left early, changed plans at the last minute when he couldn’t cope, and endured the stress of all of that. We’ve lost friends, gained love and support from places we didn’t even know to look, and watched in awe as things finally started to come together.

In all of this, I’ve had a lot to do - chasing, corralling, feeding, not sleeping, sleeping, holding, hiding, providing, nurturing, waiting, gently pushing, searching, re-thinking, planning, preparing. Next week he goes away for 5 days and 4 nights. Without us.

All of his life - everything that we’ve done - has been in preparation to let him go.

While Tim and I were talking about it the other night, I spent a few minutes with my fears:

*What if he isn’t understood?
*I’m really sending him away to a place he’s never been?
*What if he doesn’t eat enough?
*What if he doesn’t sleep enough?
*What if he has a massive meltdown?
*What if he is wildly successful? (Yes, I even thought about that, too.)
*Will they take good enough care of him?
*Will he remember anything we’ve tried to teach him? (Be kind, use your words, brush your teeth.)

But then there was the big one - and I didn’t even realize it was in there.
While we’re preparing to let them go,
I have to be okay with it when they do go.

What am I going to do while he’s gone? For his 9 years, my daily existence has been wrapped up in keeping him safe, in making sure he’s understood and that he can cope in his surroundings.

family - smaller This also makes me incredibly thankful that our other two kids understand their brother, and his needs, so well. They are such a support to him and they understand, to some extent, the amount of time and effort required to help him make it through a day. They are his best advocates and champions! God really put together an amazing group of siblings with these three!

Maybe you wonder why I’m letting him go, if all of life has been like this? That’s a very fair question, because I’ve thought about that, too. We could just keep him home, plan other fun activities to “take the place” of camp. But here’s why we’re letting him go - and why I’m trying to be okay with that:

*Most of the way we’ve raised him has been framed with, “for when you can do this on your own someday.”
*He will only be 1 hour away from home.
*He really wants to go & a lot of his friends will be there (and no, not all of his friends know of his issues, but he is comfortable with them).
*The leaders who are going really try to know and understand who he is, how he functions, and how they can best support him.
*I talked with someone at the camp who listened to my concerns and answered in ways that let me know he will be well cared for.
*He heard there will be archery there and really wants to try it out (and for the perfectionist that he is, that could be a great option for an activity!)
*But really - because I have to start somewhere with letting him spread his wings.

from meltdown to breakthrough || rebekahmhallberg.com And so I started to gather his clothes for camp yesterday. We talked about outfits, getting his clothes back into the bag at the end of the day, how to decide what to wear on his feet, to put on a sweatshirt if he was chilly, that all his clothes and items will be labeled.

And I will pack his things later this week, and I will probably write him notes and tuck them into his Bible, and in his pillow, and inside his sneakers. And God and I will spend a lot of time together as I wait on Him through the week, because I’m preparing to let them go - and I have to be okay with it when they do go!

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Filed Under: authenticity, autism spectrum diagnosis, dealing with feelings, family focused, finding peace, having faith in God, parenting, parenting outside the box, summer fun

Come Away With Me - part 2

June 25, 2024 By Rebekah 4

Come away with me! Yesterday, I shared about how our family needed some time to just be together in a relaxed environment, rather than the hustle and bustle that we’ve had going on here lately. I asked my husband to plan an outing for us, which is completely not in line with my personality, as I usually prefer doing anything related to planning. My idea was to get us all some time together, but also to be intentional about moving away from perfection and toward authenticity. Our grand adventure was a huge success - so much so that at the end of the day, I asked him if we could extend our down time for a second day. So, come away with me, through a second day of adventure and fun!

After arriving home from a wonderfully relaxing day together, we quickly made plans for a second day. We gave the kids a couple of options of things to do, and they agreed on the beach. We packed up things we needed after they went to bed, so we could get a moderately early start in the morning.

I love the colors you see at the beach - the clear, blue sky, the white waves as they build and break, the vivid umbrellas of every color imaginable, hats in all shades and sizes!

The kids enjoyed playing in the water, near the water, by the water, and digging holes in the sand. They started building sand castles, but they were too fascinated with the shells, the crabs near the water, body parts of crabs that they found in the sand and surf. Between horseshoe crabs on the first day and smaller varieties of crabs on the second day, we had a lot of opportunities to compare the different varieties we saw.

beach day 2 The beach got a little warm when the sun came out from behind the clouds, so both boys decided to dig themselves a hole in the sand in hopes of staying a little cooler (I highlighted the guy on the left so you can be sure to see him - he couldn’t find himself too easily in the photo). It gave Tim and me a few minutes to sit and catch our breath since we knew the boys weren’t going anywhere for awhile. beach day 3

Despite the fact that the water was chilly, the kids really seemed to enjoy being in the water and jumping in the waves. Tim was brave and dared to enter the icy waves to hold a nervous hand and keep an eye on brave wave-jumpers!

beach day We all enjoyed the relaxed, low-key day at the beach. At one point we told the kids that we were going to get ready to leave in a little bit. Clearly they weren’t ready because the younger two started asking to go back to the water again! They stayed in for quite a while before deciding that they were cold and maybe even a little bit hungry.

After grabbing a bite to eat, we explored other parts of the state park, including some science centers. I’ll admit, the science centers are not my thing, but I loved watching our guy - he had some questions about some of the fish in the tanks, and neither Tim nor I knew the answer. I suggested he ask the lady who was working there, as she would probably know. He walked over to where she was, waited for her to finish a conversation with a couple of other people, and then when she turned to him, he said, “I have a question about some of the fish in the tanks,” and with that, they were off to check out the tanks and learn about the fish. I had to chuckle - after they were done looking at the fish, our son started asking about some of the turtle shells and horseshoe crab shells that were laying on a table. I could see the lady almost-visibly flinch each time he picked up a shell. She was great about the situation, though, and just carefully moved her hands to protect the shell in case he dropped it.

Our last stop of the day was the Barnegat Lighthouse. I guess I dozed on and off during the drive to the lighthouse, so when we arrived, I planned to stay in the van with one or two kids who weren’t interested in climbing the lighthouse. All 3 kids wanted to go, and we discussed the height, the fact that if they started the climb, they’d need to go all the way up. I got to continue resting in the van (Tim is so good to me!) while he climbed the lighthouse. When they got back to the van, I found out that one little Princess had not climbed any stairs - not up the lighthouse, or down the lighthouse. Yet when they got to the top, I was able to see her walking around. One awesome daddy carried a scared little girl who really wanted to go to the top, but was a little afraid to climb by herself. Up 217 stairs, and down 217 stairs. Love that man!!

And the time away, with just our family, really did help me to focus on loving them, and their individuality, rather than just completing the necessary tasks of parenting. But even more than that, the time away helped me to relax, to be able to do without a set plan, and thrive in the environment. I’m grateful for a husband who is opposite of me in so many ways, but uses his strengths to help me focus on living authentically (a very-real, not-always-pretty-but-always-pretty-awesome life), rather than living perfectly!

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Filed Under: authenticity, family focused, love

Come Away With Me

June 24, 2024 By Rebekah 0

I’ve been really craving some family time lately. With the end-of-year rush with school, and all the extras that go with that, I felt like I was seeing my family, but really only for the business side of things - the schoolwork, piano lessons and recital, crossing paths on the way to one meeting or another. So, I did what any wife might do, and asked my husband to plan an outing for our family. But that’s not the entirety of this story. See, I’m a very structured and well-planned person. My husband is very laid-back. This outing, truly and genuinely about family time, is also about me learning to let go and just go with the plan - especially when I don’t know all the details. So, come away with me as I take you through a journey of fun, family and faith!

Come Away With Me 1

Our grand adventure began with getting on the road a little later than I had hoped. There were a few things we had to do before we started out, but we got going with a happy, rowdy set of kids. We were off to see lighthouses in Delaware! We were doing great until we hit some traffic and I began to stress about the amount of time it took to get to where we were headed. I may have pulled out the map a few times to point out how far we still had to go. BUT - we got there. A little later than I hoped, but we arrived at Fenwick Island Light, at the Delaware/Maryland border. The sun was out and it was a gorgeous lighthouse! Tim loves lighthouses, and that’s rubbed off onto all of us.

fenwick island light

From there, we headed on to the next light - not a lighthouse, but a lightship! Apparently there are not too many lightships that you can actually tour, so we were all looking forward to this! We stopped for some lunch and ice cream on the way to the ship - that always makes everyone a little happier! Aboard the ship, we had THE BEST tour guide! Fortunately, our tour consisted of just our family, so we were able to move around a little more freely than if we had others in our group. The tour guide was patient with our kids, he answered their questions, he asked them questions based on what they seemed interested in, and he made the history of the ship quite fun! The ship was built in 1938 and there were some amazing historical artifacts including Time magazines from 1941, and a World War II newspaper. The stove in the kitchen was original to the ship and there were pictures of what the ship looked like before some major restoration took place. The ship sat in the Delaware Bay for 2 years at a time, with a crew of no more than 14, including the officers. We learned so many fun facts about this ship!

lightship 2

As the day went along, and as we were all having fun together, I began to realize that this business of letting go and trusting someone else with the plan was going well. It was still hard for me, but the kids were happy, the sun was shining, and we were having a great time together! My favorite moment on the ship was when I got a gentle nudge & a few seconds later there was this picture. Love!

After time aboard the ship, we took some time to run around the playground and the area near the ship. The kids used the time to burn off some energy and we enjoyed hearing them in a wide-open space, rather than in the confines of our van. I was still thinking about the time, the schedule and when we needed to move on, but listening to the laughter, standing in the cool shade of some trees with my husband, and enjoying the beautiful weather were winning out! The kids wanted a picture on this little boat and so we were happy to oblige. I spent about 2 minutes trying to get them together for a nice, posed picture. You know - something perfect. What we got, though, was so much better than perfect - we got authentic and I will take authentic over perfect any day! I love the details of this picture - our older son is lounging about, quite relaxed and content with life. He’s making his own space in the world and is comfortable there! Our daughter is on the edge, dangling her feet in some adventure, while keeping securely planted in the safety of life. Our younger son? Well, he is intentionally pointing forward, yet looking backward. I asked him more than once if he wanted to look and point in the same direction. Nope! This was the pose he intended. And in his mind, I’m sure it symbolizes something amazing; I just don’t know what that is. I could venture some guesses, though. Maybe he’s indicating that he cannot see the way ahead, unless he is learning from what is in his past. Or maybe he is trying to tell me that the best we can do is plant our feet, aim ahead, and keep an eye out for those around us. Truthfully, I don’t know, but I love that they all had aspects of their own personality evident in this picture!

overfalls 2

We ended the day with a drive to see the Delaware Breakwater Lighthouse. We got to walk on the beach, which the kids loved, we saw some wildlife and got to talk to some of the staff who monitor the wildlife. The lighthouse was gorgeous in the late afternoon sun, and being perfect would mean I’d be posting that picture here. But often, love and authenticity are even better than perfection, and so rather than post the lighthouse picture, which was the point of this part of the outing, I’m going to post the picture which ended up being the best part of this outing!

Best Day 1 -1

When I let go, and stopped looking for perfection in myself and in everyone else, I had a really great time! Our family needed some fun, leisurely time together, and we achieved that goal. Special thanks to my husband, who planned our grand adventure! And because of his ability to let go, to be laid back, to go with the flow, he was open to Day 2 of our adventure! Join me again tomorrow, and come away with me for more of this adventure!

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Filed Under: authenticity, daily blessings, family focused, finding peace, summer fun

Blessings in Education

June 6, 2024 By Rebekah 2

The end of the school year is always a time of mixed emotions for me. On one hand, I’m so happy to be nearly done with school and have another year under our belts. On the other hand, it’s a time of “g00d-bye” and “see you later” to some of my greatest blessings in education.

We homeschool, sort of, and we send our kids to school, sort of. We use an online charter school that is an alternative to our local neighborhood public school. This option works great for us in allowing the kids to work at their own pace, but also allowing someone else to keep all the school records. I live in a state that is not particularly homeschool-friendly, so this online charter school was the best choice for me. In our form of schooling, I am the learning coach - I am the hands-on teacher, the 1:1 resource for each of my children. However, each of my kids has a head teacher. (I must pause here to say that with our child who has special needs, having a head teacher from whom to request resources and ideas, is such a help!)

Education is so important to me. My parents valued education and that made a tremendous difference in my life. I want the same - and more - for our children. So when my oldest son came home from the local Christian school one day, in 2nd grade, to tell me how bored he was, I decided to listen to him and look at options. That is how we arrived to this particular charter school.

My daughter is at the end of 1st grade. What sweet beauty and innocence she brings to the educational process - the world is unfolding before her and reading, especially, is enabling her to explore beyond her wildest dreams! Her teacher is everything you would imagine a first-grade teacher to be: kind, gentle, compassionate, with the ability to share even more of the world with her students. In her gentle way, she has charmed my daughter into a greater love of learning through the online classes, individual emails and occasional phone conversations.

My younger son is about to complete 2nd grade. He is the our child with special needs. I remember emailing his teacher at the beginning of the year, saying that we highly value education in our home, and that we were trusting her to come alongside in our journey and help our son on his educational journey. She has been the perfect teacher for him this year! She seems to innately know when to push, just a little more, and when to back off and let him be. She asks questions designed to draw him out when he seems withdrawn, and has a loving way of reigning him in when some work needs to be accomplished.

My oldest son is finishing his first year of middle school. He has a homeroom teacher, who is also his Language Arts teacher, and 3 other teachers for the other core courses (Math, Science and History). I’ve had a little less interaction with all of them, as schedules are different in middle school, but I’ve exchanged emails with them all, and have talked, in person or on the phone, with all of them.

At the beginning of the year, we were at a school-sponsored outing, talking with some of the staff who had our oldest son in sixth grade. One teacher was telling me about a program called Eighth Grade Scholars. The program takes students who are excelling in seventh grade and gives them the opportunity to skip 8th grade, and enter 9th grade a year early. My son was intrigued with this, and so was I. As academics seems to be his niche, this program seemed like it might be a good fit!

We went through all of the necessary steps to apply for the Eighth Grade Scholars program - he carried grades of 95% or better, all year. ALL school year. In every subject. Some of those grades came easily, others he had to really work for. He applied for, and was accepted into, the National Junior Honor Society. He completed the application form, which included listing all of his community service and leadership roles for the past couple of years. I don’t know about you, but at 12 years old, we had to really think about what those roles looked like in his life. But sure enough, when we looked for leadership and community service, even at 12 years old, we were surprised by how much we found. These won’t necessarily look the same for kids as for adults, but don’t discount the many things that kids do - raking leaves for a neighbor, helping at Vacation Bible School, things like that. That’s where their leadership and service qualities begin, and start to be noticed.

On Tuesday we received word that our son was accepted into the Scholars program - HOORAY! With that acceptance, I sent a short email to his teachers, thanking them for their time and effort to make his learning enjoyable and rewarding. I thanked them for partnering with us, for working with him to keep his grades high, for inspiring him to achieve even more! I included a short quote from “Oh, The Places You’ll Go” by Dr. Seuss, because I love that poem!

I got several replies to that email, all applauding our son’s efforts and our family’s efforts to keep education a priority. One teacher replied that his skipping 8th grade is bittersweet for her, as she won’t have him for next year’s classes. But she picked a line out of the Dr. Seuss poem for him, too - “Kid, you’ll move mountains!”

Their teachers are my greatest asset in making sure they have every advantage, educationally. As we get to the end of the year, consider what our teachers do - for our own kids, and for so many others. The news has been full of teachers who go above and beyond, even willing to put their own lives in danger in hopes of protecting their students. Most teachers really are that amazing! And while we all give gifts, cards and good wishes, be sure to include a sincere, heartfelt thank you!

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Love Again

May 31, 2024 By Rebekah 4

Love Again Yesterday morning I read a post from Lisa-Jo Baker, in which she described the need to focus on our marriages more than the current state of our life – and moms, you know that’s something we’re often thinking about! She said that a Thursday is a great day for her to fall in love with her husband all over again. Her article has stuck with me, and no matter what, I can’t shake it – in a good way.

And so maybe a Friday in the spring is a great day for me to fall in love again with my husband.

We’re coming up on 14 years married. Last year I tried to write a beautiful post for our anniversary, but apparently you can’t fit these things into a box. And so, at 13 years, 10 months and 14 days, I guess today is a great day to write a love post for the man who is my coffee-and-a-kiss in the morning. It’s really the perfect start to any day!

I stress about the imperfections; he points out all the joy in out-of-the-ordinary.

I try to make sure it all gets done; he’s happy with whatever gets done.

I joke that he left me on our honeymoon, to let the seaweed attack me. The reality was that I wasn’t brave enough to continue on the adventure. He has made me much more brave than I ever was on my own. He is my courage.

Because of him, I know that every lighthouse is unique and different, and serves a special purpose. {Seems to me people are like that, too.} He finds joy in studying the specifics – no wonder he knows me so well.

Deep brown eyes – I need to see those more. I need to stop and slow down and find rest in those eyes. I can’t help but smile, especially when I see that twinkle. I need to stop being so busy and make more time to recharge with some great conversation, funny shared jokes, and time looking into his eyes.

Day after day, I struggle to find my identity. I’m mom, teacher, cook, cleaner, driver, scheduler.

But even more importantly? I’m Tim’s wife. Being Tim’s wife makes me better at being a mom, teacher, cook, cleaner, driver and scheduler. Being Tim’s wife makes me a better person.

Before I got married, I would have always guessed I would be the snuggler. I can’t tell you how many times I wake up in the morning on my own side of the bed, with him snuggled up against me. Love it!

He’s my “slow down” when life goes too fast, my “let go” when I hold too tightly.

He’s my “you can do it” when it needs to be done, and my “you’re amazing” when it’s all been completed.

When I talk, he listens. But he doesn’t just listen to my words. He hears my heart. And he can hear my heart, even when my words are few.

Jesus loves me, this I know, because every day, Tim tells me so. When I lose my focus, Tim is there to gently get me back on the path where I should be walking. When I’m overwhelmed, he’s there with the reminder that this is not how it should be.

Our favorite gifts, they call him Daddy. There’s nothing better than their laughter, their cheers and squeals when he comes home, their hide-and-seek, and their countless hours reading together. There’s no doubt of his love – his eyes give him away every time.

Those eyes – my resting place. We all need that special place where we know we’re home. And we need to intentionally plant ourselves there for encouragement and refreshment.

And so, on a plain, everyday Friday, in the spring of the year, I’m in love, all over again. What has come, has passed. What’s ahead will be even better. Why? Because we’re built on love. Happy plain, exciting, ordinary, joyful, in-love-even-more Friday, to the one who hears my heart.

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Filed Under: family focused, intentional choices, love, my happy place

Irresistible Motherhood

Irresistible motherhood.

Irresistible motherhood.

Irresistible Motherhood.

I Took the Long Way Home Today

Dear Weary Mom {Stop Comparing}

Dream Big Dreams {For Our Children}

Dreaming Big Dreams

Dreaming Big Dreams {For Our Children}

Dreaming His Own Dream

Big Dreams and Big Prayer

Dream Big Dreams

Preparing to Let Them Go . . . and being okay with that

Come Away With Me - part 2

Come Away With Me

Blessings in Education

Love Again

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Irresistible motherhood.

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Big Dreams and Big Prayer

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