character traits Archives - Journeying Outside My Box

Beauty in Brokenness

September 30, 2024 By Rebekah 10

In the warm, autumn sun, the farm is alive with life! The dew glistens on the flowers and the pumpkins, inviting your eye to see the perfection of each creation. Displays are arranged to feature the best of each type of plant, to showcase the cream of the crop. The hustle and bustle of excited children, searching for the perfect carving pumpkin, tugs at your heart and you can’t help but to smile!

In the corner, though, at the edge of the farm, out of direct sunlight, and just about as hidden as they can be, there are pots of chrysanthemums, seeming out of place. Are they extras? Are they pre-purchased? Why not display them with the others? The question is asked, and the answer seems surprising: “They are broken.” To most, these are undesirable, imperfect, not suitable. But every now and again, I think we need to look beyond the exterior perfection, to find the beauty in brokenness.

Broken - not “impossible to sell”, just “damaged, imperfect” and so the farmer was willing to take less money. But, isn’t that the chance you take with a plant? That it may die, or that it may break? Or that the frost will claim it a little too early? Three broken mums were less than the price of one small, perfect mum, and so we chose the three we wanted.

Broken. Wanted. Imperfect. Chosen.
Claimed. Tended. Flourishing.

Isn’t that how it is when Jesus looks at us? In our own strength, we are broken, imperfect, deeply flawed. Yet when God sent Jesus to earth, He wasn’t sending Him to look for the perfect. He was sent for the needy, the hurting, those with a heart to hear His words, the imperfect.

And if we’re honest, that’s all of us - we are all imperfect, needing Jesus. Some of us may stand off to the side, others may be tucked away behind the fence, or hidden in the shadows.

Those mums that were featured, though, put out as the best and the brightest? They have just as much of a chance of being broken, damaged, or deeply flawed if not properly cared for. There’s no guarantee that they will flourish - not without proper care.

And Jesus comes along, and He looks at us. He sees our imperfections, He finds us out of the way. He seeks us, broken and damaged as we may be, hiding because we don’t measure up, and He claims us.

Claimed by Jesus.
Bought with a price.

Our salvation cost His life. He saw such value in us - whether we were the featured, lovely-looking life, or the hidden, damaged life - that He paid the price for us.

And He takes us, tends our wounds, our battle-weary hearts, places His perfect protection on us, and we are His.

We are claimed by the only One able to mend our mess. We are tended by the only One able to make us into what we ought to be, and we flourish because we are loved by the One who can find beauty in our brokenness.

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Filed Under: authenticity, character traits, daily blessings, finding peace, having faith in God

From Perseverance To Patience

August 28, 2024 By Rebekah 0

I’m sure you’ve heard what “they” say about patience - something along the lines of, “Don’t pray for patience, because you will get plenty of opportunities to work on your patience.” Well, I listened to “them” and stopped praying for patience for a while. After all, I had a lot going on; the last thing I really needed was another opportunity to practice patience. I decided to pray for perseverance instead - the ability to keep on going.

I think my change in perspective, from praying for patience to praying for perseverance, originally came a few years ago. Many days (and nights) we were up to our eyeballs in dealing with our son and his special needs, and trying to keep life as close to normal as we possibly could for our other two kids. I was tired of being patient with him, but I knew that I had to keep going, so I transitioned to praying for perseverance to get through some of the tougher days.

Praying for perseverance brought me many opportunities to keep going; it afforded me many chances to try, and try again. Things certainly weren’t smooth sailing for me, but it didn’t frustrate me, either, like praying for patience did. I was persevering. I was able to keep going.

Recently, I was doing a book study with some friends and we were talking about patience. I was sharing my aversion to praying for patience. As I shared, a thought occurred to me - one I don’t think I’ve considered before.

I think I was praying for perseverance because that was something I could control. I could determine to what extent I persevered, how hard I worked in any given situation, how much time and effort I continued to put forth.

Praying for patience, though, meant that I was relinquishing control and waiting on someone else. Maybe it was God, maybe it was someone from the school, maybe it was a child. I could not persevere and push through; I had to choose to stop and wait.

Want to know a secret? {I don’t like to wait.}
(Insert a collective, “Oh, REALLY?!” from everyone who knows me, right here…
go ahead, I know, and you’re right to respond that way.)

I don’t like to wait. I don’t like to not be the one in control. I like gauging my day by my effort, by giving my best, by living up to the standard I know I can attain on any given day.

But, that’s not what God is wanting me to learn - at least, not right now.

Right now, He is showing me how He is faithful to work everything out. How do I know? I used to work so hard to schedule everything exactly right. When I gave up persisting and starting being patient, I saw God work things out in amazing ways to make sure that everything fits beautifully into our week. And the way our schedule works out this year, we’re ending up with at least two full days at home each week! Our busiest days are in the middle of the week, and they will definitely be full, but that ensures that we’ll have good chunks of time at home, able to catch up on work, get some rest and not have to run in another direction. When I was patient, rather than persistent, God worked that out for us!

There’s also a certain freedom in stopping the hard work of perseverance, and beginning the waiting that comes with being patient. Sure, you can wait impatiently, but that kind of defeats the purpose, so I’m trying to wait patiently.

How am I doing that?
PAUSE - I’m intentionally choosing to stop and to remember that I’m working on being patient, rather than pushing through to make my own solution.
PRAY - I take time to pray, remembering that God is eager to hear from me, and asking for His help as I try to be patient in my waiting.
PAY attention - I turn my focus to other things - laundry, dishes, reading with my kids, talking to my husband, encouraging someone else. I actively try to get whatever I’m waiting for out of my mind, unless I’m praying about it.

Do you notice that they’re all things that require an action or intentional choice on my part? It’s not just that I decide, “Oh, I won’t persist; I’ll be patient.” No, for me, I have to intentionally (each time) work at making the choice to be patient.

Have you given up on praying for patience? Can I encourage you to try again? Be intentional in your efforts. Slow down in your persistence so that you can let God help you increase your patience! After all, you know what “they” say - “Good things come to those who wait!”

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Filed Under: authenticity, character traits, having faith in God

Dear Weary Mom {Stop Comparing}

August 23, 2024 By Rebekah 0

Dear Weary Mom,

As moms, don’t you find that we’re always comparing our kids and ourselves to other families? It’s so unfair, and can be so painful at times, yet we keep doing it. We believe that God created our children as He did, for a reason. And we might even believe that He created us the way He did, for a reason.

Dear Weary Mom {Stop Comparing}

But along with that, God already knew what kind of mother we would be, and gave us many of our strengths and traits to be used as mothers. What if we believe that He created us to be the mothers that we are, for a reason? Yes, we should all be learning and growing as mothers, but what if we believe that our mothering gifts and abilities come from God?

Wouldn’t that be freeing, in a sense? You and I could be free from the comparison to other moms, and to other families, which ultimately leads to physical and mental (and sometimes even spiritual) exhaustion.

Our greatest comparison would only be to see if we are matching up to what God has called us to be.

And sisters, becoming who God has created us to be
is a life-long adventure!

Let’s focus on our motherhood. Let’s find some quiet time, and ask God how we are measuring up to what He wants us to be, as mothers. Ask Him to mold you into the mother He wants you to be.

God promises that we will receive, we only need to ask.

Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find;
knock and the door will be opened to you.
-Matthew 7:7

I’d encourage us (yes, me too) to write down any words, phrases or thoughts that God gives you as you pray about your mothering. Put them around your house as a reminder of your time with God. Pray over those words. Ask God to show you more of what He has planned with those words. Ask for growth in those areas.

dearwearymom_button_white Moms, take your eyes off of others, and fix them only on God. Stop comparing your family to anyone else’s family; God is calling us all to different things, so it does not make sense to compare. Only measure your family against what God is calling you to, and ask God for more of Himself in your family, and in your mothering.

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Filed Under: authenticity, character traits, Dear Weary Mom, family focused, finding peace, parenting

Spiritual Insights in Everyday Situations

May 14, 2024 By Rebekah 1

I was sharing parenting stories with a friend recently, something I love to do. I love to hear what her kids are doing, and I love to share about what our kids are doing. My friend was telling me about something that had taken place between my daughter and her, and I was intrigued as the conversation continued. I realized there were some great spiritual lessons that I could take from the situation.

My daughter’s shoe had come untied one evening and she spotted my friend and ran over to her. My girl asked my friend to tie her shoe, and in the same moment, put her foot right up on my friend’s lap, waiting for it to be tied, but all in a very kind way. My friend said that my daughter went to her, full of expectancy, waiting for help to fix the problem she had. I was grateful that my friend was willing to help my daughter, but also that my daughter knew who to ask for help when she needed it.

My son, on the other hand, might handle shoe situations very differently. If he was wearing shoes and had some type of problem with them, he would likely take off the shoe and just toss it aside and then continue with whatever he was doing.

Both of these represent an appropriate way to deal with the situation. Let’s dig deeper, though. Not only are these appropriate ways to deal with physical situations, they are also appropriate when dealing with the sin in our lives.

Let us then approach God’s throne of grace with confidence,
so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need. –Hebrews 4:16

When my daughter asked my friend for help, she was acting boldly. She knew my friend would help her and she acted based on the knowledge she had of my friend. It’s the same with sin – when we know about it, we can act immediately by approaching God and asking for His forgiveness, knowing that He will forgive and that we will “receive mercy and grace in our time of need.”

Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses,
let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles.
And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us,
fixing our eyes on Jesus, the pioneer and perfecter of faith.
For the joy set before him he endured the cross, scorning its shame,
and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. –Hebrews 12:1

My son’s actions - getting rid of a cumbersome shoe that has come untied - seem to be better described by this verse. He throws off the untied shoe that is hindering him, and he goes busily about the activity at hand. His sole focus is getting to complete the activity, and he will do everything he can, including dealing with bare feet, to participate.

Let’s briefly add untied shoelaces to this conversation. I know we’ve all seen kids who walk around with their shoes untied, oblivious to the danger that may cause. It’s like that with our sin, too. We can just keep going, not dealing with our sin, but eventually that sin is going to trip us up, just like the untied shoelaces will eventually cause us to stumble.

When we know about sin in our lives, we can deal with it in any of the ways listed here. We can do nothing, but we will eventually get caught and tangled in our sin. Or, we can stop immediately and run expectantly to Jesus and ask His forgiveness, knowing that He will help and forgive us. Or, we can choose to toss aside the sin and keep our eyes focused on what God has called us to do, praying for God’s forgiveness as we intentionally move away from the situation. The important thing, though, is that we deal with the sin in some way.

I learn a lot from watching all three of my kids and how they do life. It’s a blessing when God allows me some spiritual insights during the everyday routines of life. The actions we all take, on a daily basis, can give us some great ways to relate to the spiritual issues of life.

So, do you ask for help when your shoe comes untied, or do you take it off and keep on going?

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Filed Under: character traits, family focused, intentional choices, parenting, self-expression, Uncategorized

Persistence

May 2, 2024 By Rebekah 2

Persistence. What do you think of when you read that word? What kind of images are conjured up in your mind? Do you view persistence in a positive or negative way?

Persistence. Sometimes I think about a toddler, stuck in a loop of asking, “Why? Why? Why?” It’s frustrating, it’s annoying, but it’s how that child learns. That child is going to get someone’s attention, in some form or fashion, with all their questions.

Other times, when I think about persistence, I think of my high school Math teacher. He did not just teach Math, he taught Math to high school students. When a student couldn’t understand the problem, the teacher wouldn’t give up and say, “Oh well, I tried.” Rather he stopped what he was doing, thought for a minute and worked on explaining it a different way. I don’t remember ever seeing him get frustrated with any of us, although he must have some stories to tell about some of us who struggled to understand. But he made sure we knew what we were doing - often giving up his lunch times, his mornings before class, time during class, and hours after school.

What about us? What does persistence look like in our lives? For me, it means helping my son through various routines, day after day. It means being consistent with the rules, every time, so that he knows what’s expected. Persistence means that we get three kids through piano practice almost every day of the year, because we want to honor the talents God has blessed them with.

Those are all good things, but I’ll tell you – I want to be known for a different type of persistence. I want to be known for my persistence in following God. I want to learn more about God’s love, and about how to be more like Jesus. I want to be following after Jesus in such a manner that people see Him in my life more than they see me.

Persistence. We’ll be talking more about it as the month goes along. The word itself begs us to continue to work to understand it.

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Filed Under: character traits, having faith in God

We’ve Come a Long Way

July 22, 2024 By Rebekah 10

For a few months now, Picasso has been wearing noise-canceling headphones at church. He plugs into a cord that runs to the soundboard. This helps him not have to hear every noise that’s going on, and helps filter the things we *do* want him to hear.

Lately, though, we’ve struggled with getting him to participate in the service. He no longer disrupts the service, but he doesn’t participate as much as he used to. Meanwhile, he sings songs from church all week long. He’s even told me, “I may not sing them at church, but you know I sing them in bed, right?” Yes, yes I do know that. I’ve heard him.

I realize some of the participation requires that he knows the song, is familiar enough with it to know the words that come next, etc. But for a guy who struggles with sequencing, I can completely understand how singing a song can be hard, especially when we only sing any particular song every few weeks, at most.

However, I would like him to stand during most (or even some) of the appropriate times, and sing the songs he knows, that kind of thing - it doesn’t have to be complete participation. Lately he’s been sitting and doing anything but participating - driving cars, making paper airplanes, withdrawing into his own little world. And that’s ok as well because a year ago, he struggled to just be in the service. But I don’t want to just say, “He has special needs, he’s off the hook,” either.

So today, I explained what I was hoping for, and he stood some, and he sat some, and he sang a little.

And I was completely unprepared for what came next. He sat down for a song, and that “Mommy instinct” kicked in to tell me not to push him, but to just casually sit with him, so I sat on the edge of my seat, just so that he wasn’t sitting alone. We sang “Tis So Sweet to Trust in Jesus”. I was enjoying the song and focusing on the words. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw something & turned to see what it was.

As soon as I saw it, I froze and would not turn my head any farther.

Picasso was scrunched up on the seat, singing, raising his hand in worship. I looked around to see if anyone was raising their hand and if maybe, he was doing what they were doing. No one. Not another person that he could see, had their hand raised.

I waited for him to put his hand down. Four verses of the song, and his hand was raised for the entire song. I was incredibly moved because I realized that, in that moment, he was having his own meaningful time of worship.

After that song, we had a prayer time, and our pastor got up to transition to the prayer time. I wish I could remember what he was saying, but something about trusting Jesus through everything in life. And there was a hearty, “Amen!” from the seat beside me. I turned to see Picasso completely engaged in what the pastor was saying, eyes focused up front and listening intently to every word.

I was shocked.

During the prayer time we sang a song called “Treasure”. They lyrics are below:

Your breath is like rain

Your word it sustains me
I’ve come to this place

With intentions of finding You

Your truth is a lamp

Your wisdom my light

I’m seeking Your face

With intentions of finding You

I would run for a thousand years

If I knew every step would be getting me closer

I’d swim to the ocean floor

For my Lord is the treasure

My Lord is the treasure

Holy holy

Holy is the Lord

And while we sang the song, he had his hand raised, and was reading the words and was completely engaged through the entire song. It was, honestly, almost too much to handle. I was so grateful that I didn’t push too hard for him to participate “the right way” and was flexible enough that he could have his own, very personal, worship experience.

I wish I had a picture to post with this (the one above is from a different day, but the same kind of thing happened then, too). I considered taking one, but anything I would have done - take a picture, move out of the row to get a better shot, etc., would have been a distraction to him and to those around me.

I’d like to take a minute and say a very warm thank you to all who have helped us to get here. Our pastor has been great in being flexible with what church “looks” like because our family looks a little different than a typical family might - we’re not always perfectly put together, sometimes there are sensory issues that prevent Picasso from wearing “appropriate” clothing. But ultimately, church isn’t about what you look like - and I’m thankful that we can be flexible with that! The children’s ministry workers have been excellent at trying to understand our guy’s needs and how best to interact with him. Thank you all! Many thanks to those who have helped us get the headphones set up and worked through that option with us - it has been an option that has changed our son’s success in church! We’re grateful to those who sit around us who talk up the headphones to our son - always making him feel good about himself and the use of the headphones. And we’re grateful to family and friends who encourage us to keep going when things get tough sometimes. We wouldn’t have had a day like today if we’d given up on getting our family to church!

Treasure - Desperation Band

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Filed Under: character traits, everyday success, sensory issues

Character Traits

March 23, 2025 By Rebekah 2

Helpful. Honest. Brave. Kind. Funny. Wise.

These were the character traits for Picasso’s assignment. He was to complete 2 sentences which said, “I am _____ because I _____.” He needed to choose one of those character traits for the first blank and then give a reason why for the second blank. The third sentence said, “Here is a picture of me being _____.” Fill in the blank & draw a picture.

I could immediately think of so many possible outcomes for this assignment and thought it would be a lot of fun for him!

For example:

I am helpful because I put away my own laundry. Or -

I am honest because I can tell the truth. Or -

I am brave because I can go upstairs by myself now. Or -

I am kind because I help my sister clean up her room sometimes. Or -

I am funny because I tell great jokes. Or -

I am wise because I know a lot of things.

In my excitement at how fun I thought this assignment might be for him, I forgot that, at the core, this is a multi-step task:

*Understand the assignment

*Focus on Sentence #1

*Choose a word from word bank for first blank

{And this is where it fell apart. Why? Because he struggles to understand emotions. He struggles to understand how to express emotions AND to understand how he feels in any type of emotional situation. He struggles to understand (let alone describe) himself in terms of “traits” of any type - emotional, physical, character, or otherwise.}

*Come up with a reason to go along with the word he chose for the first blank (and write it, which involves thinking through the words, organizing the words, then attempting to spell them) - but not just “choose” a reason; rather, think through all sorts of things he’s done in life and try to match something he’s done with one of these traits

*Continue to sentence #2

*Choose new word from word bank for first blank

*Choose new reason for second blank (and write it, organizing words and then spelling them)

*Choose a word for the third sentence

*Sort through things he’s done in life to match an appropriate activity with that word

*Draw a picture (to his own liking…there was a lot of erasing)

He tried to choose “helpful” twice. For sentence two, he tried to add the word “also” before the first blank so that he wouldn’t have to think of other traits and reasons - he had a good thing going on with “helpful” and wanted to continue on that track.

We spent nearly 10 minutes just choosing the reason to go with “helpful” in the first sentence. He really struggled with this and had a tough time coming up with answers. I tried to encourage as we went along, reminding him that I think all of these things about him, for so many reasons. But that just doesn’t help when he’s in a mood and is struggling with SUCH a multi-step problem. To so many others, this is a simple exercise. I want to reach the point where three sentences is a simple exercise for him. Let me clarify that - I want to get to the point when this type of exercise is easy for him. He can write three sentences with no trouble. Do they always go together? Not perfectly, but then we can edit or plan to clarify for the next time. But he can do it.

But to choose character traits about himself and give a reason why he feels he’s that way, and be able to do it with ease - not there yet. Yet.

This took nearly 45 minutes. And almost all my patience to not just *give* him some answers. (Pardon my not-so-great editing out of his name at the top.)

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Filed Under: autism spectrum diagnosis, character traits, homeschool family, writing

Who Is He?

October 14, 2024 By Rebekah 0

Recently, I’ve been asked a question by several different people for a variety of reasons. The question is something along the lines of “Who is the real Picasso? How do I differentiate between the variety of emotions that he might display and know who he really is?” A great question - and one that really got me thinking!

Disguises!

One thing I’ve learned over the years is that my child does display a variety of emotions. But being his mom, I am often able to know what’s coming, in terms of emotion: a meltdown, or a belly laugh, or frustrated yelling. I know this because I’ve fought, time after time, to get through to my son. When he got out of bed 50+ times in ONE hour, I didn’t resort to physical punishment or hollering at him. I simply stayed by his room and put him in bed 50+ times. Because with this kid, that’s what it takes. There’s a huge gap between what it looks like he’s capable of learning/doing, and what he’s actually capable of learning/doing.

This child is either completely defiant or incapable of understanding rules. I know, as his mom, that it’s the understanding that he lacks (and believe me, we’ve asked about the defiance, but we firmly believe that does NOT play into his issues, thankfully!). But even though I, as his mom, KNOW that he wants to be good, sometimes it’s nice to be able to back that up with some facts. .

When I answer “Who is he really?” I often have to chuckle. If the person to whom I’m speaking knows my dad, I’ll say that Picasso is a junior version of my dad - very contemplative, seemingly extroverted but definitely needing his own space and some quietness at times, and very likely to pop a small joke into a conversation. If I’m talking to someone who knows my dad, they will reply, “Oh, yes! I know exactly what you’re talking about!” And I will say - “That’s when you know you truly have our son, and not the emotional interference.”

Picasso on the left, my dad on the right

What about his mischievous and playful side and that they have to remind him to listen and cooperate several times? Being Mom, I can tell you, that is his boyishness. However, he genuinely doesn’t hear/can’t process what is being said to him. (Hence an upcoming appointment with the audiologist.)

What about his anger and frustration and folding his arms and turning away? At that point, he’s overwhelmed. He no longer hears you. He literally needs a break to process all that he’s already heard. He’s 5-10 minutes behind in processing, so imagine how tough it is to keep up in a classroom setting. He has to turn away in order to find the quiet he needs. He is not mad AT someone, he’s frustrated at his own inability to keep up and that’s going to look like anger because it’s easier to convey anger and frustration rather than the extreme embarrassment he’s feeling at being so far behind in the auditory processing. It’s really very sad when he gets to this point of anger and frustration because there’s just nothing we can do that is guaranteed to help him snap out of it. But I honestly don’t think he’s learned the emotion of embarrassment yet. (Yes, we teach emotions because he doesn’t innately understand emotions.)

BUT - Who is my son? My son is a good kid. All 3 of our children are wonderful, but it’s funny - out of all 3 kids, this guy is the LEAST likely to disobey just for the sake of disobeying. The other 2 don’t generally disobey very much either, but I believe Picasso’s desire to be good is innate and also is part of his issues. He’s often very literal and to add in a component of disobedience for the fun of it adds a whole other element to explaining things to him. For example, if I say, “Don’t run into the street” he may still run into the street or near the street. We then explain that it’s dangerous, we point out cars going by, etc. It’s hard enough for him to process this “direct teaching”. But he’s not likely to play cat-and-mouse and try to sneak closer to the road because he can’t explain to us that he’s just trying to play. He also can’t understand that we’re needing to focus on his attitude AND his actions in a cat-and-mouse situation - it’s too much for him to comprehend. As a result, he’s very literal and works hard to cooperate so that we can focus on the one issue (not running near the street) without needing to discuss emotions and things that muddy the waters for him.

There was a discussion today that affirmed my belief that he genuinely desires to be a good kid. He and his sister were fighting on the way from therapy to the orthodontist. After several warnings and reminders to not holler at each other and to keep hands to self, I informed him that he had lost his game privileges at the orthodontist (they have several video games there for the kids). His reply was, “Ok, I’ll be good.” I said that I didn’t intend to change my mind just because he promised to be good - he’d already promised me that several times today. (The therapy intensive is getting really tough for him and he’s starting to lose control of his emotions and his behavior.)

His reply really hit me, as he’s not always this insightful. “I’m not saying that I’ll be good to play the video games. You just said I can’t play. I’m going to be good because I want to be good.”

Wow - on so many levels! First, that’s a really great answer! Second, he didn’t get mad at me when I took away his game privileges. Third, he conveyed who he really is in those 3 short sentences. Fourth, he was able to communicate his feelings.

And to his credit, he was good for the rest of the drive.

Who is our son? How do you really know when it’s genuinely him and not some emotional interference?

The happy, cooperative guy who is being boyish, but not bad - that’s our son.

He’s the one working harder than everyone else, to be good. That’s our son!

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Filed Under: anxiety and autism, autism spectrum diagnosis, character traits, dealing with feelings, sensory issues

Beauty in Brokenness

From Perseverance To Patience

Dear Weary Mom {Stop Comparing}

Spiritual Insights in Everyday Situations

Persistence

We’ve Come a Long Way

Character Traits

Who Is He?

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