sensory issues Archives - Journeying Outside My Box

How To (Maybe) Successfully Get Your Child’s Hair Cut

February 16, 2025 By Rebekah 2

Do you have a child (or know a child) with sensory issues? Then you likely know the frustration that can come when it’s time for a haircut. The fear associated with scissors, the buzzing of the clippers that seem to hurt or are too loud for the ears, the touching of the head and ears - all of these factors (and more!) can make the seemingly-simple act of getting a haircut seem like more of an act of torture. We have struck out so many times when taking our guy to get a haircut. I want to share, though, how to (maybe) successfully get your child’s hair cut.

For a time, I would just buzz it down to almost-nothingness just to get it off his head quickly. As he got older, he disliked that option more and more. We had tried many different places where we could just drop in, without an appointment, in hopes that if we happened into the shop during a good moment, he might actually do okay with getting the cut. He did not.

In a little town nearby, there are a large number of barber shops. One of the shops is right beside a little ice cream place where we sometimes stop for a cool treat on a hot day. So when we would get ice cream, we’d point it out and “talk up” the idea of getting a haircut.

One day we decided to try this barber for our son with sensory issues (after many times of talking it up). This particular barber shop is a family-run business, and so the day we ventured in, our son got Grandpa barber when it was time for his haircut. What happened next may be one of the most interesting things I’ve seen. You know when you take a child to get their hair cut, they often get a lollipop when they are finished? Well, Grandpa barber had his own unique twist on this whole ritual.

Picasso climbed up in the chair and seemed squirmy. Grandpa barber tried asking him to sit still a couple times, with little success. Right beside his barber chair is the container with all the lollipops. Grandpa barber reached over and pulled one out. He took the wrapper off and offered it to my son, who willingly took it - WHILE he was getting his hair cut. He kept it in his mouth, sucked on it, and kept his mouth closed. This worked for a few minutes and then he started to get squirmy again. I started to worry, thinking what a great idea that had been, and feeling sorry that my son was being antsy.

Grandpa barber wasn’t bothered in the least, though. He grabbed a second lollipop out of the container, unwrapped it and offered it to my son. I was amazed! My son was thrilled with the prospect of another lollipop and gladly nodded his approval. Grandpa barber gently took Lollipop #1 and threw it away, and gave Picasso Lollipop #2 which he happily kept in his mouth - keeping his mouth shut, and preventing hair from getting in his mouth.

Meanwhile, Grandpa barber was snipping hair as fast as he could, while Picasso was on cloud nine, having had TWO lollipops now! Things were going well for a few minutes, till my guy started squirming again. Sigh. But to a seasoned barber, like Grandpa barber, this was just another opportunity to pause, give my guy a minute to stretch, AND to give him Lollipop #3, trading it for Lollipop #2 which had served it’s purpose of 5 minutes of distraction while he’d cut some hair.

Me? I was sitting in one of the chairs watching all of this, in amazement! WHO KNEW that there was a trick like this that maybe, just maybe, would keep my son IN THE SEAT long enough to get a haircut?! With the successful consumption of Lollipop #3, the haircut was finished.

As if that wasn’t enough, Picasso went home with 3 lollipops, from Grandpa barber, for “being such a good boy”. Six lollipops for one successful haircut - worth every penny we paid that day!

Do you have a sensory kiddo getting a haircut? This trick with the lollipops would be a great thing to try.

*Arm yourself with several lollipops (or favorite hard candy of your choice)

*Explain what you’re going to do, to the person giving the haircut - don’t let them talk you out of it by saying, “Oh, they’ll get one at the end”. Haircuts can be hard enough without added frustration from someone who doesn’t know your child.

*A good rule of thumb - a new lollipop every time the child starts to get fidgety (and a different flavor than what was last in their mouth). For our guy, this was one every 5 minutes.

*And 1 more (or 3, if you’re feeling generous like Grandpa barber) for when the haircut is done.

Why this works so well - kids suck on the lollipop with their mouth closed most of the time. They try to keep the lollipop in their mouth which prevents the stickiness from getting all over the child. The person cutting the hair can wipe away stray pieces that fall on/near the face to prevent them getting stuck on the lollipop. It’s enough of a diversion that it seems to help with some of the anxiety and stress that usually goes along with a haircut.

Hopefully this will help someone else! Special thanks to Grandpa barber at the Ambler Barber Shop, Ambler, PA.

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Filed Under: anxiety and autism, parenting outside the box, sensory issues, small town usa

Review: One Year Ago

October 15, 2024 By Rebekah 1

Tonight, kind of just for fun, I looked back to see if I’d blogged in 2011, on October 14th. Sure enough, I had. And it was such a timely post. In the past year, since that post, we’ve made many new friends and contacts. Some know about our son, others do not. It was good for me to have something concise to share about who he really is. It was also exciting to re-read the post and see how far we’ve come in a year. The day-to-day can be tough in terms of seeing the big picture of where we’ve been, and where we’re going. The blog has been a huge blessing, in being able to look back at just where we’ve been.Rather than re-post it all here, I’m just going to ask you to click the link below to read back about who our son really is. It’s a wonderful question, that many people were asking me during a transition time. It gave me a good reason to sift through some of the ups and downs, when he’s being childish, when he’s being boyish, when he’s had enough, and when you might really have his attention in a particular moment.

As I read through it, I really enjoyed seeing that so many of the issues we were dealing with last year don’t seem to be as much of a problem for us anymore. (Now we’re on to “newer” and “better” issues!)

So go ahead and click the link below, to read:

Who Is He?

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Filed Under: anxiety and autism, autism spectrum diagnosis, daily blessings, dealing with feelings, family focused, sensory issues

We’ve Come a Long Way

July 22, 2024 By Rebekah 10

For a few months now, Picasso has been wearing noise-canceling headphones at church. He plugs into a cord that runs to the soundboard. This helps him not have to hear every noise that’s going on, and helps filter the things we *do* want him to hear.

Lately, though, we’ve struggled with getting him to participate in the service. He no longer disrupts the service, but he doesn’t participate as much as he used to. Meanwhile, he sings songs from church all week long. He’s even told me, “I may not sing them at church, but you know I sing them in bed, right?” Yes, yes I do know that. I’ve heard him.

I realize some of the participation requires that he knows the song, is familiar enough with it to know the words that come next, etc. But for a guy who struggles with sequencing, I can completely understand how singing a song can be hard, especially when we only sing any particular song every few weeks, at most.

However, I would like him to stand during most (or even some) of the appropriate times, and sing the songs he knows, that kind of thing - it doesn’t have to be complete participation. Lately he’s been sitting and doing anything but participating - driving cars, making paper airplanes, withdrawing into his own little world. And that’s ok as well because a year ago, he struggled to just be in the service. But I don’t want to just say, “He has special needs, he’s off the hook,” either.

So today, I explained what I was hoping for, and he stood some, and he sat some, and he sang a little.

And I was completely unprepared for what came next. He sat down for a song, and that “Mommy instinct” kicked in to tell me not to push him, but to just casually sit with him, so I sat on the edge of my seat, just so that he wasn’t sitting alone. We sang “Tis So Sweet to Trust in Jesus”. I was enjoying the song and focusing on the words. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw something & turned to see what it was.

As soon as I saw it, I froze and would not turn my head any farther.

Picasso was scrunched up on the seat, singing, raising his hand in worship. I looked around to see if anyone was raising their hand and if maybe, he was doing what they were doing. No one. Not another person that he could see, had their hand raised.

I waited for him to put his hand down. Four verses of the song, and his hand was raised for the entire song. I was incredibly moved because I realized that, in that moment, he was having his own meaningful time of worship.

After that song, we had a prayer time, and our pastor got up to transition to the prayer time. I wish I could remember what he was saying, but something about trusting Jesus through everything in life. And there was a hearty, “Amen!” from the seat beside me. I turned to see Picasso completely engaged in what the pastor was saying, eyes focused up front and listening intently to every word.

I was shocked.

During the prayer time we sang a song called “Treasure”. They lyrics are below:

Your breath is like rain

Your word it sustains me
I’ve come to this place

With intentions of finding You

Your truth is a lamp

Your wisdom my light

I’m seeking Your face

With intentions of finding You

I would run for a thousand years

If I knew every step would be getting me closer

I’d swim to the ocean floor

For my Lord is the treasure

My Lord is the treasure

Holy holy

Holy is the Lord

And while we sang the song, he had his hand raised, and was reading the words and was completely engaged through the entire song. It was, honestly, almost too much to handle. I was so grateful that I didn’t push too hard for him to participate “the right way” and was flexible enough that he could have his own, very personal, worship experience.

I wish I had a picture to post with this (the one above is from a different day, but the same kind of thing happened then, too). I considered taking one, but anything I would have done - take a picture, move out of the row to get a better shot, etc., would have been a distraction to him and to those around me.

I’d like to take a minute and say a very warm thank you to all who have helped us to get here. Our pastor has been great in being flexible with what church “looks” like because our family looks a little different than a typical family might - we’re not always perfectly put together, sometimes there are sensory issues that prevent Picasso from wearing “appropriate” clothing. But ultimately, church isn’t about what you look like - and I’m thankful that we can be flexible with that! The children’s ministry workers have been excellent at trying to understand our guy’s needs and how best to interact with him. Thank you all! Many thanks to those who have helped us get the headphones set up and worked through that option with us - it has been an option that has changed our son’s success in church! We’re grateful to those who sit around us who talk up the headphones to our son - always making him feel good about himself and the use of the headphones. And we’re grateful to family and friends who encourage us to keep going when things get tough sometimes. We wouldn’t have had a day like today if we’d given up on getting our family to church!

Treasure - Desperation Band

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Filed Under: character traits, everyday success, sensory issues

Self-Advocating

May 20, 2024 By Rebekah 10

It hasn’t happened often, at least not as clearly as it did tonight.

We’d gathered for Picasso’s birthday celebration. Our family is pretty famous (infamous, maybe?) for having birthday parties for someone on any day except their birthday. It’s a rare thing to actually get to celebrate ON someone’s birthday. The great part is that we get to celebrate together, and then we have a small little something for the birthday person *on* their birthday here at our home - maybe brownies, maybe cupcakes or cookies. So while his birthday isn’t until next Friday, this was the only opportunity that we could all easily get together to celebrate.

Tonight we were having fun, everyone chatting with someone else at the table when it happened. He was completely serious as he spoke. I wasn’t sure just how to react. I wasn’t sure if he’d start laughing, crying, yelling at us, or just keep on going. It turned out that he just kept on eating his cake & ice cream.

So while we were all talking, he said, “Hey, why is everyone talking all at once? I can’t handle it. I have sensitive ears!”

That right there would be his therapies ALL paying off! He’s recognizing his problem, speaking nicely about it, and speaking up for himself. What a joy to see him starting to recognize what he needs and speak up for himself in a proper way. He didn’t yell, he didn’t hide, he didn’t run away, he didn’t have a meltdown; he just spoke up clearly to tell us what he needed.

I think that was his birthday gift to me!

Happy almost-birthday, little dude! Hard to believe it’s been almost 8 years!

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Filed Under: birthday, self-advocacy, sensory issues

Painting With Picasso to "I Wish I Didn’t Have Asperger" #AutismPositivity2012

April 30, 2024 By Rebekah 10

For some background on this post, please read this - Autism Positivity Flash Blog.

Someone googled “I wish I didn’t have Aspergers” and it took them to someone else’s blog. The blog owner felt sad that someone got to the blog through that google search. No one knows who did the search, or whether they’re younger or older, male or female.

In response to that, many bloggers are writing a post to the searcher to respond and help to offset some of the frustration the searcher must be feeling.

I’ve spent a few days thinking how I’d like to address this. Even if I’d like to address this. There are so many others out there who seem more qualified that I do, to respond to “I wish I didn’t have Aspergers”. What might I have to say that they’re not going to say? The answer to that is “probably nothing” - probably most of what I might say will be written / shared by others who will also share a post for the Autism Positivity Flash Blog.

So why address this? I’ve worked with kids with special needs, I have my own child with special needs. Someday, it may be my own kid googling “I wish I didn’t have Aspergers” and so I want to think about what I’d say.

*****************************

Dear Friend Who Googled “I Wish I Didn’t Have Aspergers”

Hello. My name is Becky. I’m a special education teacher by trade, but first and foremost, I’m a mom. I have a son who has been diagnosed with Asperger Syndrome, along with Sensory Processing Disorder, and a few other things.

That being said, all of that means that I understand my son’s Asperger diagnosis. I don’t want you to think that my son’s diagnosis means I understand you. I used to think that, but I’ve learned that when you know one person with Autism, you know ONE person with Autism. Everyone’s diagnoses affect them so much differently.

I know that a lot of life is frustrating for my son. I have met other people with Asperger Syndrome who say that life is frustrating for them as well. I can imagine that you feel the same way. I know it’s hard to watch my son try to function in settings that are not designed with him in mind - large groups, excessive noise (even if it doesn’t seem excessive to me), people who ask rapid-fire questions, lights that blink, a room with lots of sounds. The developmental pediatrician, the psychologist, the therapists, and his regular pediatrician describe him as the kid in the group who has to work the hardest to keep up. No wonder he comes home from an outing and just “crashes”. I know that, theoretically, you learn coping skills as you grow to make things a little easier for yourself. I know that when things are easier, it does not mean that they are easy.

There are many different aspects to each person’s diagnosis, and I don’t know what yours are. I don’t know if you struggle with noises or if people speak too fast. I don’t know if you can do math extremely well, or if reading and language arts are easier for you. I don’t know if you do OK in social settings or if you avoid them at all costs.

I do know, that by googling “I wish I didn’t have Aspergers” you came across one of the most supportive groups of people you’ll ever find. I hope you have a great support system around you - friends, family, maybe educators, maybe people in the workplace. But maybe you don’t. If you need support, we’re here. Find us on Twitter, Facebook, in the blogs. Don’t be afraid to let someone know that you need support. As parents, we’re genuinely interested in your well-being. As parents of kids with special needs, we know, first-hand, the support you need on a daily basis. And we’re here.

My son has Asperger Syndrome, like I said. While I wish that I could fix a lot of the issues he struggles with, I’m not interested in fixing him. See, there’s nothing WRONG with him. Nothing. And there’s nothing wrong with you either. Nothing. What there is, is a lack of understanding among other people. We’ve had to go to battle for him more than once, with people who didn’t understand the struggles he faces daily, or with people who didn’t think he needs some of the accommodations that he needs. A lot of it is that people just don’t understand. They think they do, but until you’ve worked with someone with special needs, or parented someone with special needs, you don’t really understand what all is involved even in just a day in the life of someone with special needs. We understand that it’s probably similar for you - you’ve probably come across a lot of people who *think* they understand you, or think that you should be typical because you look typical. You know what? Being “typical” robs you of the chance to be UNIQUE!

We wouldn’t take away our son’s Asperger Syndrome. We work hard to get him the therapies he needs, to teach him the strategies he needs to be successful in his young life. We appreciate his sense of humor that is often even funnier *because* of the Asperger Syndrome. We recognize his struggles and are doing all we can to help him. We approach life with him by thinking outside the box. He doesn’t fit into the “typical kid” box and so we can’t approach life with him in “typical” ways. We want to help him cope with the things he struggles with, and accept the wonderful gift that he is to us - and his Asperger diagnosis is a part of who he is, but it’s not a bad thing. He has Asperger Syndrome like he has light-colored hair, or like he has brown eyes. It’s a part of him and another in a long list of awesome traits that make him who he is and who we love.

It’s the same with you - the spectrum issues are part of who you are. While you can’t change the diagnosis, or alter what makes you the wonderful person you are, there are many options to help you in areas where you feel you struggle. I hope that you have a way to find some of those resources. I hope that you have friends and family you can reach out to. You were created to be uniquely you; fearfully and wonderfully made. You are a unique and special gift and we hope that you can find peace in that.

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Filed Under: autism spectrum diagnosis, Hope, love, sensory issues

Small Victories

April 29, 2024 By Rebekah 12

One of the blessings that comes from understanding Picasso’s issues is that we’ve learned to become grateful for the seemingly small milestones. The victory is not in the destination, but in understanding how to get there. Because really, the possibilities for where to go - the destination - are limitless, but you can’t get anywhere if you don’t understand the steps required to get there.

For our guy, the process of understanding the steps to accomplish something is very tough. He struggles with seeing the big picture and then breaking it down into the necessary steps

To give you an example of what this means, I’ll use the illustration of when you tell a child to get ready for bed. You probably say something like, “Ok, it’s time to get ready for bed,” and your child will (happily or otherwise) get pajamas on, brush teeth, go to the bathroom, and climb into bed. You may have more things in your bedtime routine, but the general idea is that the child will go and carry out the necessary steps to “get ready for bed”.

Our guy doesn’t function like that. He hears “Time bed” and will head upstairs. That’s often where it ends. If we’re lucky, he’ll go to the bathroom or brush his teeth, without us telling him. But that’s very infrequent. This doesn’t mean he’s totally clueless on the daily tasks, but rather that we have to approach SO much of what we do (and how we make our routines) in a different way.

Our routines are very structured and set in stone - the ones that truly matter. These routines are always done in the same way, in the same order, even so much as using the same tone of voice. There are frequent reminders as we approach the time for a required task. You can imagine, this takes a lot of planning and preparation on our part to give the 1-hour, 30-minute, 15-minute, 10-minute, 7-minute, 5-minute and 2-minute countdowns. And these countdowns happen for many things - school, therapy, clean up time, bedtime, among others.

In an attempt to make our own lives a little easier, we’ll often lay out the clothes for church on Saturday night. We don’t always do this - a lot of it depends on whether or not I have to leave early to get to practice with the worship team. If I do have to leave early, then the clothes are all downstairs for the 2 younger kids, (our older son does great getting his own clothes) and everything is ready for them all to eat breakfast, get dressed, and head to church. If I don’t have to leave early, I don’t worry as much about having the clothes out and ready as I’m here to help with all that on Sunday morning. Saturday nights are the only nights we lay out clothes for the next day. Sometimes he’ll go to bed in the clothes he wants to wear the next day, but we don’t lay out clothes for any other day.

Last night Picasso came downstairs. He was wearing the clothes he’d had on (well, probably the second or third outfit of the day), plus a hat, a bag, something in his hand, and a pair of pants in the other. I figured that the pants were part of whatever he was playing, so I didn’t pay much attention. I was sitting on the couch looking through some things when he plopped the pants down on the footstool.

I looked up, intrigued. They were the nice pants that he had worn for Easter.

“Here’s my pants for tomorrow.”

Silence. Willing the words to come into my head. We hadn’t discussed that tomorrow was church day. We *had* talked about how it was Saturday, several times. Daddy stays home from work. We get to do some fun things. But no preparation for Sunday because I knew I’d be home in the morning.

Yet here it was, Saturday evening, and he had pants for church.

“Thanks, Pal, great job!” But really - WOW! He’s internalized a non-structured activity. He thought and planned ahead. All on his own. The moment was noted forever, in my mind and heart.

But there was more.

“Should I wear a short-sleeved white shirt (while motioning to the spot where the sleeves hit on his arm) or the long sleeved nice blue shirt?”

Utter. Disbelief.

Usually I have to say no to the first few shirts he picks because he often picks shirts for opposite seasons (due to his sensory issues), or he’ll choose a shirt that he cut a hole in, or he picks a shirt that is older that doesn’t look quite as nice. So the fact that he was coming with some ideas of decent shirts was fantastic!

“Um, either of those shirts would be just fine - or any (he begins to walk away; pretty sure I should stop talking, but I can’t because I’m in awe) nice-looking shirt…with a collar. Any nice-looking shirt.” He glances at me as he turns to head up the stairs. He replies - “K!”

I didn’t even know how to answer. I was so proud of this HUGE accomplishment that I probably would have said yes to a shirt with a hole (with a fleece on top) or any other shirt he brought down.

I can almost hear you - “You’d let your kid go to *church* in a shirt with a hole? Or a shirt for the opposite weather?” Yes. In fact, he went to church in his pajamas one time - his oldest sweats. See that’s the great thing about our church - no judgment about what you wear to church. They understand - or are beginning to understand - our guy’s needs. This helps a lot with a kid who has sensory issues. We don’t have to fight to get him to dress “appropriately”. Yes, I’d love if he would look great each time he went to church. But the reality is that it’s hard to get him INTO clothes some days, when the sweats and pajamas are what feel best. So the fact that he planned today’s outfit, completely on his own - yup, he could have worn anything he wanted to wear. (I’m really glad he wanted to wear something nice!)

And so he picked the long-sleeved blue shirt. And he dressed himself this morning, and did not tuck in his dress shirt. And he did complain about how the pants felt around his waist, so I suggested we loosen the tabs inside to make them feel better. Maybe someday he won’t complain about the tabs, but will ask for help instead. But when something like the feel of the tabs used to cause a violent meltdown, I’ll take the complaint ANY day, because he’s using words.

We’re not “there” yet - but really, who knows where “There” is? What matters is that HE figured out part of the journey, completely on his own. And when you can succeed ON the journey, you’ll get “there”! No doubt about it!

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Filed Under: autism spectrum diagnosis, goals, parenting, sensory issues

The Tough Stuff

April 20, 2025 By Rebekah 6

Hollow eyes, lack of appetite, extreme agitation, exhaustion, anxiety, increase in scripted speech (meaning, quotes from TV, books, etc) that I can’t break into and get him to stop, regressions, resistance to any kind of touch unless it’s on his terms (meaning no hugs or kisses or hand-holding or snuggles unless he can tolerate it and/or initiates it), lack of ability to find the right words, recall issues, memory issues, gut issues that I know are affecting him. The frustration that I know it’s all connected and that the regressions frustrate him, and not knowing how to fix it for him.

Last week he was talking and the words came out a jumbled mess. He literally grabbed his head and growled in frustration. I was impressed - a great moment of self-regulation, as he was able to stop, slow down, and start again. Yet, the look on his face made me realize that it must be a mess in his head right at that moment. He does not grab his head.

He complains of headaches a lot lately.

We see the doctor soon.

And that’s another great story! Last fall our favorite pediatrician learned she had cancer. At that point, she wasn’t sure how they would be treating it. We recently found out that she’s back to work. I’ve been calling, on and off, to see if I can schedule Picasso’s next appointment with her. We finally got it all put together and he will see her in just a few weeks. Several appointments ago, she told Picasso that he could call her Aunt Sharon because we’re all friends. She left to get the papers we needed and he came back and said, “I’m going to call you Fraunt Sharon because you’re my friend - FR - and you said I could call you aunt. So Fr+aunt = Fraunt. You’re Fraunt Sharon.” You could see her heart overflow with love right in front of us!

We’ll see Fraunt Sharon soon. We’ll discuss all these issues. We’ll discuss if we’re doing enough. Or not. We’ll discuss options. We’re praying for some good insight for Fraunt Sharon. And for real clarity for us.

I’m not worried. I’m concerned. We go through this several times each year - probably more than several. If it’s this hard for us to work through with him, I can’t imagine how hard it is for him.

Remember - you can easily join the site to follow our story. On the left side of the page you can subscribe by email or you can join in the Google Friend Connect section.

Additionally, if you leave a comment, please click on Subscribe by Email under the comments, as I will reply to all comments posted. If you’re not able to comment with an account that’s listed, please feel free to comment anonymously, but I’d love if you’d leave your name in the comment (but you don’t have to). Then check back because I will reply to all comments.

We appreciate your support on our journey.

Love Wins.

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Filed Under: anxiety and autism, autism spectrum diagnosis, favorite pediatrician, Hope, prayer, regression, sensory issues

Holding Hands

April 17, 2025 By Rebekah 14

Last August when we spoke with the Developmental Pediatrician she asked us so many questions about Picasso’s development to that point.

So. Many. Questions.

We spent HOURS talking and answering questions and left the appointment feeling mentally, physically and emotionally exhausted. We talked about steps that our guy may have missed along the way, and there were many. The wonderful thing is that we, as his parents, have decided *not* to beat ourselves up about the things he missed. We did our best. He was (mostly) healthy through his younger years. He was well-nourished. And there were some things that we didn’t realize he missed because he just went right onto the next milestone with no major concerns.

I’ve written about some of the relationship issues that Picasso has had in the past and how amazing it is to see them and realize that those just did not happen the first 6 years of his life. Six years of life and very limited relationship with Tim. How did we not see it? How did doctors not understand when I tried to explain this to them? We could have been farther along….

But yet, we don’t dwell on the past; we move ahead to the future.

And 2 years ago, I would have never thought our future would be this amazing! I wouldn’t have believed anyone who said that:
*Picasso will make a plan.
*Picasso will carry out a plan.
*Picasso will write 1-2 sentences of his own (including coming up with the sentences in the first place).

But mostly, I don’t think I would have believed someone who said
*Picasso will hold hands with his dad.

Because I didn’t know we were missing that.

Picasso & Tim

I know this is not the best picture, but please understand - I get about one attempt, if I’m lucky - to take these kinds of pictures.

This is one for the record books. One that will always bring a tear to my eyes. One that will serve to remind me just how far we’ve come - because sometimes, when you have NO idea where you started, you don’t always realize when you’ve actually made some progress and gone anywhere.

We’ve arrived at some great places! I don’t care how far we have to go. I can look at this picture and realize that we started at a place of minimal trust, minimal relationship, and now we have long periods of time holding hands and sitting together.

We’ll keep walking the road, together.

Heart to heart.

Hand in hand.

Love Wins.

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Filed Under: autism spectrum diagnosis, family focused, love, sensory issues

It’s Been One Year

April 10, 2025 By Rebekah 4

I just passed my first blogging anniversary - March 31st. I planned to write about it earlier, but that particular week was hectic. March 31st was also the first day of our vacation, and I was sick the day before, so my hopes for writing a “blogiversary” post got side-tracked.

A year of telling our story.

A year of mixing in some other tales.

A year of trying to understand.

A year of trying to help others understand.

A year of wondering if we’re doing the right thing.

A year of wondering if we should have been doing all this years before.

A year of learning.

A year of crisis - and then rest.

A year of counting our blessings.

A year of holding tightly to those who have stepped up to help.

A year of being willing to let go of those who have walked away.

A year of learning new and different ways to parent effectively.

A year of reminders that a word or two describing my son, do not CHANGE my son.

A year of new friends.

A year of love.

A year of growth.

A year to remember.

However you’ve gotten to this blog, I’m glad you’re here. Thanks for your comments, your encouragement, your prayers - we’ve seen some great things this year, yet we have so many places still to go. Keep following our journey as we try to help our guy, love our kids, and grow in grace!

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Filed Under: autism spectrum diagnosis, family focused, sensory issues

A Little Kindness May Go A Long Way

March 22, 2025 By Rebekah 2

I’m always so proud to hear my oldest & youngest figuring out ways to help take care of Picasso! It really does my heart good!

Tonight, Mozart to Tim: “Know how Picasso gets really mad at Princess and gets in a fight and punches her sometimes? Maybe we could find a really old pillow and teach him to punch that instead.”

I love so many things about this -
*that he’s thinking about his brother (when it wasn’t even a fighting moment)
*that he realizes the sensory issues behind all of this - hence the pillow to punch
*that he realizes that punching is probably not actually what Picasso *wants* to be doing in that moment
*that he realizes that maybe he can offer a new & helpful solution
*that he isn’t afraid to speak up and offer a suggestion to try and help his brother.

I’m so proud! So we will work on this. I think we’ll let big brother choose a pillow and then suggest the punching of it as an alternative to punching someone. Picasso’s become a lot more socially aware recently, so maybe hearing this from someone else will help it sink in!