Give Me Jesus

Every once in a while, there is a song, or a verse, or a quote that pushes through the noise caused by the world, and plants itself deep in my heart. I’m always grateful that God, in His wisdom, sends just the right message when I need to hear it. He continues to give me Jesus - whether in word or thought, through a verse or a song.

Over the past few years, I’ve logged countless hours driving one of our kids to and from therapy appointments. The place where he goes for therapy is about an hour away, so there is plenty of time to talk, listen to music and enjoy the scenery in various seasons. It’s only recently that we’ve had a contemporary Christian radio station to listen to, and it’s been a nice change of pace in terms of entertainment while we travel. Several songs have pushed their way past just being entertainment and have secured a special place in my heart.

Jeremy Camp’s version of “Give Me Jesus” is one of those songs that has taken up residence in my heart.

I’ve written about the struggles of the past year or so, taking a stand for redemption despite the world’s opposite opinions, recognizing the spiritual warfare and kicking out the enemy. I’ve talked about hurt, pain, loss, frustration, fear, feeling the heavy weight of just not knowing what would happen next.

And I’ve shared before (maybe here, but I’m not completely sure) about marking time. About 6 months in to all of this, a friend reminded me that if I was able to trust God through the first 6 months, then I had enough knowledge of God’s faithfulness to trust Him for the next 6 months, and then I’d be a year in to the journey. If I could trust Him for the first year, I’d have a firm foundation to trust Him for the next year.

In this particular story, there are 2 times each year where I mark time. There’s an overall journey, which right now stands at almost 18 months. And there is a specific journey, which will hit the 1-year mark later this week.

God gave me the word redemption for this year. Maybe that’s why this song has been so dear to my heart.

(verse 1)
In the morning, when I rise
In the morning, when I rise
In the morning, when I rise
Give me Jesus

(verse 2)
When I am alone
When I am alone
Oh, when I am alone
Give me Jesus

(verse 3)
When I come to die
When I come to die
Oh, when I come to die
Give me Jesus

To me, this song illustrates a lifetime with Jesus - from the morning (the first time we meet Jesus) until our eyes close for the last time. It’s a lifetime of choosing Jesus, of understanding our need for Him, and experiencing His love and redemption each day.

Through the past 18 months, with all the loss, all the fear, all the frustration, the words of this song have come to mind.

With every negative experience, I have found myself talking to Jesus - yes, often to express my hurt and anger, but also, to thank Him for the constants in my life, with Jesus being at the top of the list.

A few mornings ago, I woke up with this song in my heart. I thought back about the many things that have happened, and God began to affirm the choices I have had to make.

No matter what has happened, God has provided peace.

For every fear, every frustration, every loss, every pain, the constant has been Jesus.

The only prayer I could pray in the most uncertain times was simply, “Jesus, mercy and grace.”

And when I called on the name of Jesus, He answered.

The righteous cry out, and the Lord hears them;
he delivers them from all their troubles.
Psalm 34:17

The verses of the song have meant a lot to me, but this week as I reflected on the song and on the past months, I realized it was the chorus that was truly on my heart.

(chorus)
Give me Jesus
Give me Jesus
You can have all this world
Just give me Jesus

While I have mourned the loss of many different aspects of the life I used to live, I believe the peace I have right now is worth more than anything I thought I had before.

Last night I shared that I was able to go to sleep in my bed, with my family all under one roof, in our own home - none of which was guaranteed to me about a year ago.

I don’t know what’s ahead, but I firmly believe the worst is behind us. I could tell you God-story after God-story about the mercy and grace that Jesus has poured out onto my family - into my heart. And maybe there will be a time where I can share more fully.

For now, though, please know that whatever road you’re walking, Jesus is there. Please know that while I can’t share all of my story (yet), it is big and it is ugly and it is nowhere that I would willingly go. But the story isn’t all about me. It’s about giving someone what is probably their last chance to really get their life together, - and seeing them succeed!

It wasn’t an easy choice to stand up for what I believe, and it has been lonely (and still is).

I remain confident of this:
I will see the goodness of the Lord
in the land of the living.
Wait for the Lord;
be strong and take heart
and wait for the Lord.
Psalm 27:13,14

Friends, in this life, you may be called to take a stand when quitting, running away or hiding out in despair may be the easier choice. From walking this road, I can promise you that if you stay close to Jesus, if you listen carefully for His will, He will remain faithful.

“You can have all this world, just give me Jesus.”