I’ve also spent several days (not consecutive days) worrying about the back window of our van. Why? Nothing’s wrong with it. It’s perfectly functional, opens and closes as needed, doesn’t give me any trouble. So, why worry? Well, I’m glad you asked!

I have a darling child who plans things for a long period of time, and then actually *does* the thing he’s been planning. At one point, he tried to break the window with something he had in the back seat. Then a couple days ago he asked what it might feel like for someone to break a window. (Why does he wonder these things? I don’t know. He has an intense curiosity about taking things apart and putting them back together, and in so many situations he can easily take things apart and put them back together. However, a van window is not one of the things that can be put back together once it’s broken.) I explained that to break glass you have to hit it hard and even then, it doesn’t usually break, but the person ends up getting badly hurt. I figure if he knows the possible (severe) physical consequences - cuts, bruises, trip to the hospital - maybe it will deter him.

Meanwhile, I’m making sure there’s nothing in the back that would aid his attempt at breaking the window and have moved his seat in the van in an effort to keep him from the window.

I’m also pondering a trip to the dollar store to buy a few vases/glasses that we can break (in a careful and controlled manner) to show that once glass is broken, it cannot be put back together. However, in doing this sort of thing, I’m never confident that it will work in my favor. Ideally, he’d see that it breaks, cannot be easily put back together to be fully functional, and that would be the end of “Glass-Breaking 101″. However, it could have the opposite effect and lead to an increased desire to break things and see if they go back together.

So that’s what I’ve been doing these days: tracking down medicine, pondering “Introduction to Glass Breaking”, and hoping that the van can remain a neutral third party, for it’s own sake! Wish me luck!

At lunch today, the kids were each eating a hard-boiled egg as part of their meal. The question arose as to whether our daughter would eat her egg yolk. Our older son spoke up and said, “She doesn’t like the yolk.” I’ve watched them also answer questions about our son and his issues. Usually they answer for him, when he needs their help, but occasionally they answer when he does not need their help.

That’s when it occurred to me: Our 11-year old son & 4-year old daughter are two of our 6-year old son’s best advocates.

They don’t have to answer questions about whether or not he will eat his egg yolk. He can answer that with no problem! However, they do have to answer questions such as, “Where did your brother run off to?” Or, “Can you please help him understand the directions?” Or they explain to him that someone’s talking to him and he should look and pay attention. They are able to tell a teacher that he can’t handle the situation, if needed. They also let us know when he’s mad and has shut himself away in his room. They often tell us when he’s put himself into a time-out on the stairs, not for poor behavior, but because he knows that he needs a break. They are my eyes and ears when I physically cannot be everywhere at one time. Occasionally this looks like tattling, but when you look past the words to the intention, we see that these two are some of the best advocates that our son can have.

People ask us, “Do your other children know about your son’s needs?” Yes, they do. They need to understand that he thinks, works, and reasons differently than most people do. They can participate in activities with him and help him in social situations. He needs them, and this gives them a way to help him, on a daily basis. As we’ve worn our Autism Awareness pins this month, our kids have noticed others have pins on as well. Our daughter (4 years old) asked, “Mom, how come not everyone knows about the blue lights we should have on our houses?” referring to the Light It Up Blue campaign. I explained - that’s why we need to have our lights on, and our sign up, so that more people will know about these very special needs!

Proud mom moment, to see our kids working together to help each other!