Finding Peace | Journeying Outside My Box

Dear Weary Mom {Come Away}

June 5, 2024 By Rebekah 2

Dear Weary Mom,

Sometimes the best thing that we can do is walk away, take a break. I know that at the end of the school year, this doesn’t seem a wise option. And until recently, I would have agreed with you. But on a nice day, when everyone is tired of the routine, the best thing might just be to ditch your plan, and be spontaneous. So dear friend, please – come away with me.

Come to a place with wide open fields, green as far as the eye can see. If you pause and listen, really listen, you may hear a bit of history in the background. You might hear the voices of wise men, planning battle tactics to protect the union. You may look around and realize that your young man, still growing, would be a part of this regimen if you lived in a different time.

The winds blow freely and the grasses wave gently in the breeze. Each direction that you look tells a different story – vast empty fields in one direction where all the trees were cut down for provisions for the soldiers. In the other direction, thick woods full of large, old trees, providing protection.

In the center of it all, the flag - the sign of liberty and freedom. As citizens we value our freedom, but as battle-weary moms, that flag is a reminder that we, too, can stand. And that we can keep standing when the winds of life blow against us. What amazes me about the flag is that the harder the wind blows, the straighter the flag flies. When the winds are calm, the flag can rest, but when the winds pick up, the flag stands tall.

It’s the same for us, moms. When the winds of life blow, we go to work to stand stronger. We stand strong to protect our family.

Sometimes all we need, all we really need, is to let go of our plan, and to jump into the beauty just outside our door. Watch the children run, listen to the laughter and the conversations that they have. Watch them engage in their new surroundings, in bold new ways.

Dear Weary Mom, I would encourage you to do that - to stop, to find a beautiful spot, and to rest. Take your children - enjoy spending time with them in a new and different place. Stop and take note of all that creation can remind us about - beauty, fortitude, protection, strength.

Where is your favorite get-away spot when you need to set aside the schedule and the routine and just live life?
This post and these images are from our family’s recent outing to Valley Forge National Park.

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Filed Under: Dear Weary Mom, finding peace, my oxygen mask

Dear Weary Mom {When Things Go Wrong}

May 30, 2024 By Rebekah 8

Dear Weary Mom,

Sometimes things go wrong – very, very wrong. I know you’re hurting and that you want to protect yourself, your home, your heart, your children. I know you would grab hold of the answer, the solution, if there was one to tangibly cling to. I know that things feel so uncertain and out of control right now.

In our own physical strength, we’re all just powerless when things go very, very wrong. It seems so cruel when one hurts and another cannot fix it. We’re made to nurture, to foster growth, to extend compassion, and then - to find out it’s just not enough? My heart hurts with you.

I busy myself trying to do things that might help – an offer of support, a meal, a prayer. I work hard to ease the physical exhaustion that you feel. In easing your physical burdens, I hope that maybe, just maybe, your emotional burdens will be eased. If I could give you anything, maybe it would be time on a big porch swing, looking over the vast countryside, on one of God’s spectacular sunsets. Time. I would give you the time to rest, the time to process all that has happened. Time to begin to heal.

Healing. I can give you things but I cannot give you healing. But I can share with you of the one – the One – who can provide the healing you need.

Dear Weary Mom, there’s an old song – Jesus Loves Me This I Know – do you know that song? You don’t have to know all the theology, all of the Bible verses on a specific topic. You just need to know Jesus, and that He loves you. There is always time for other learning. For now, though, soak in this heart knowledge:

Jesus loves me, This I know.

We may never understand why some things happen, and we certainly cannot control all that happens to us or around us.

But with faith, we can believe that God is for us. God is for us. No matter what happens, or even what has happened, we can know that we have the power of heaven on our side.

Dear Weary Mom, it hurts, I know. If I had the magic cure-all to put into your hands, I would. But I don’t.

Nothing I have is magic.

What I have is life-giving, heart-healing, thirst-quenching and soul-refreshing.

Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition,
with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.
And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding,
will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.
- Philippians 4:6,7

Peace that passes understanding.

Dear Weary Mom, get your Bible and open to that passage in Philippians. Sit down in your favorite spot, read those verses, and claim them for your own. That is what I’m able to offer you: The One who can provide peace that passes all understanding.

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Filed Under: Dear Weary Mom, finding peace, having faith in God, my oxygen mask

Dear Weary Mom {Don’t Get Up. Not This Time.}

May 18, 2024 By Rebekah 23

Dear Weary Mom,

{Don’t get up. Not this time.}

Juggling all that life throws at us is chaotic sometimes. We meet ourselves coming and going at the door. We spend time creating a schedule, watching it fill up, realizing we’d rather be doing other things. We show up at activities tired and stressed, probably having mediated a sibling argument along the way. It’s tough to keep our own hearts steady when all around us can seem so volatile. But, dear weary mom….

I see you. I can find you in a crowd. You are my kindred spirit in the world of motherhood.

What would I say to you that might make any difference? I’m not sure, really, except maybe that I am walking a path similar to the one you are walking.

I think about you when I drag myself out of bed each morning. Somehow, I haven’t learned the fine art of getting to bed early enough on a regular basis. As I quietly enjoy my coffee, I sit and read a short devotional, focusing on starting my day with a word from The One who truly knows our journey – yours and mine. My strength can only come from Him.

I wonder how you are doing as I sometimes find myself feeling overwhelmed with the duties of motherhood – meals, laundry, schooling, clean-up, medicines, therapies, schedules. I wonder if you are managing the day better than I am. I wonder if you feel overwhelmed as you see another pile of dishes, or the growing mountain of laundry – wasn’t it just a molehill yesterday? Are you tired of seemingly drawing a line in the sand, whether it’s to protect a child, or to stand against the influences that come into your home?

Do you get to the end of the day and feel completely spent, yet like you’ve really done nothing of value in that day? Do you feel that, in the grand scheme of things, nothing you’re doing is making an impact?

Dear weary mom, you matter, your family matters. Everything that you do to bloom and grow where you’re planted is honoring God’s plan for your life. And I see you.

I see you drawing your line in the sand when something truly matters. I know full well what it’s like to make a choice that truly makes a difference. We have a child with special needs and before we decide on anything that will be a steadfast rule for him, we count the cost. We think of when, and how, and how often, and how long we will need to draw our lines in the sand with regards to a rule. We think through anything that may cause us to bend or break that rule, and how that might be perceived by him. We try to be as flexible as we can, but sometimes life needs rules, and explaining that to a child with special needs can be so difficult.

As you draw your line in the sand, know that I am with you. I will meet you at that line, and I will hold your hand. We will wait and we will hold steadfast, together, knowing that God knows exactly where we are.

Dear Weary Mom, as I meet you at the line in the sand, and as we stand together for those tough decisions that truly matter, I don’t want you to be surprised if you get knocked down. Maybe you feel that you’re down now. You’ve stood up as many times as you can. I know. I really know.

kneel Dear Weary Mom, don’t stand up this time. It’s okay. You don’t have to get all the way up – just get to your knees. Together we will pray. We will remind God that these are all His blessings, but that we are unable, in our human strength, to manage them as we should. We will pray for wisdom to know what to hold tightly to, for peace in the midst of storms, for unending love, for perseverance to face each moment.

Dear Weary Mom, if you can’t get up, stay down. Stay on your knees and pray. God will give us the strength we need to stand again. For now, though, don’t get up. Not this time.

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Filed Under: dealing with feelings, Dear Weary Mom, family focused, finding peace, having faith in God, intentional choices

When a Life-Giving Choice Brings Fear

April 23, 2025 By Rebekah 6

Life is filled with many choices, and many opportunities to make good choices - choices that help others. But what happens when these choices - life-giving choices - bring fear? Do we soldier on because we know we’re making a right choice, or do we stop and reconsider?

Recently, my paperwork came in to renew my driver’s license. My son, especially, was interested in just what that process involved. I don’t remember if he looked at my license or saw paperwork that came in the renewal envelope, but somewhere, he saw the words “Organ Donor” and wondered what that meant. I was quite happy to give him a moderately pleasant description of what organ donation means, and why someone would willingly volunteer to be an organ donor. I was confident that my reply answered his questions, and conveyed the potential for saving a life. After all, it’s a great thing to be able to help someone in time of need, especially when our earthly body won’t serve us anymore.

For a few days, his questions continued:
“Why would someone want to be an organ donor?”
“How do you get the organs out of the body?”
(my original answer glossed over this with a short statement to the effect of, “…the organs are harvested….”)
“How do the organs get into another body?”
“So you’d be dead?”
“If your organs can help someone else, why can’t your organs help you?”
“Why wouldn’t they try to fix up your body before they just give your organs away?”

I thought these were all valid questions, and I sensed his reservation, and maybe even fear, in the questions. But, this was MY driver’s license and ultimately MY choice to help someone else, right? So I continued answering him, while trying to downplay the whole aspect of one person (in this case, me, his mom) needing to be dead in order to give a life-giving gift to someone else.

And then, it happened.

We were driving yesterday, just the two of us, and were about halfway to our destination. ”I don’t want you to die,” I heard him say, in a mostly strong voice. When he throws out a statement like that, it’s his way of expressing his fear or hesitancy about a situation. I assured him that even though I was an organ donor, that had nothing to do with whether I would die any sooner or not. Only God knows when our time here is over, and when He is ready to call us home.

I tried, with all the assurance I could muster, to tell him that it was my choice - and a good choice - but I realized the fear that my choice held for him. No matter what I said, or how many assurances I gave, I had to also say, “Only God knows when He is ready to take us home.” That statement is nebulous, at best, for any of us. But when my son is looking for strong assurances that he can hold fast to, I realized that just wouldn’t cut it.

And so I made a promise. A hard promise, but I believe, a right promise. I promised him that I would be sure they did not classify me as an Organ Donor on my new driver’s license. (After all, if I truly want to donate organs, there are other ways I can be sure that happens. A driver’s license is not the be-all, end-all of organ donor identification.)

Today I went to renew my license. I took a number. When it was my turn, I answered the information requested of me, I signed my name, and I kept a promise. I did not select to be an organ donor. If that is one choice that I can make that will bring peace of mind to my own child, I need to make that life-giving choice for him before I consider life-giving choices outside my home. It was my promise to him, that, as much as I am able, our family will always come first.

Filed Under: anxiety and autism, dealing with feelings, finding peace, having faith in God, parenting

What Can I Offer?

April 19, 2025 By Rebekah 10

Do you ever find yourself taking a look around and thinking, “What am I doing?” In your efforts to help people, do you sometimes get sidetracked considering your own shortcomings? Do you ever get caught in the trap of thinking that you’re no better than anyone else, wondering, “What can I offer?”

That kind of thinking stinks. It’s wrong. Wrong, wrong, wrong.

There’s nothing perfect on my side of this blog. As I sit here and prepare this post, I can tell you – there are dishes in my sink, a pile of laundry waiting to be folded, more laundry to wash, dinner is not prepared (although slightly planned!), the dogs need a bath, the lawn needs mowed. Best of all? I’m not even home to tend to all those things! I’m sitting in the waiting room at my son’s therapy center. All those things have to wait. They are certainly all a priority, but I am right where I’m supposed to be right now, and that list of things that need to be done is only a small testimony to the imperfections that make up my life. They get overwhelming and I get frustrated about them. I look at all that has to be done and think, “Why on earth am I even trying to think that I would have anything to offer anyone else?”

And spots like those – where we start to get convinced that we’re no better than anyone else and have nothing to offer them – are where the devil sits, hoping that he can sidetrack us with thoughts about our imperfection(s!).

But that is not what God asks us to do. He doesn’t ask us to sit in the muck and mire and wallow in our imperfections. He asks us to fix our eyes on Him as we go through our days, our tough moments, our lives! (Hebrews 12: 1,2). He has placed something special within each of us, meant to be shared with others.

So how can we battle the nagging reminders of all our imperfections? How can we stand up and say, “I am MORE than this?” Three small words: Stop. Pray. Rest.

STOP: Learn to recognize the thinking in our own minds – pay attention to those thoughts – and when they come, stop. Stand still and think, “This is not going to be my focus.” Sometimes we just let the thoughts continue without acknowledging them. Guess what? If we don’t actively work to get rid of them, they won’t go away. They will sit in there and we will continue to have them because we don’t have a plan to block them or send them away.

PRAY: Talk to God. He wants to hear from us – about the good and the not-so-good. Ask God to help you focus on thoughts that are of Him, not thoughts that will bog you down. Thank Him for being your refuge and fortress. Thank Him for the special gift He has placed inside of you and ask Him for opportunities to share that with others.

REST: So we’ve stopped, we’ve prayed. Now, the one that is probably the hardest: Rest. If we’re constantly on the run, doing all the things that overwhelm us and leaving us feeling imperfect in some form or fashion, how are we going to change that by doing the same things over and over? What if you and I took just 15 minutes and put our feet up and had a short rest to bask in the peace that God wants us to have? How might that change our outlook? I know – you don’t have time. I hear you. Neither do I, which is also a lie from the devil. We have time. We take care of so many other things, and other people, but we neglect ourselves. That HAS to change.

Let’s consider for a moment – what gives us worth and value? Is it the fact that our dishes get clean and our kitchen is spotless? Are we of more worth because we make it through that mountain of laundry and get the dogs bathed? OR…does our worth and value come from Jesus? Yes, I would love to have an empty sink because all the dishes are clean, and I would love to have the dogs bathed the moment they need it, and I’d love to finally make it through that pile of laundry. But if I’m so focused on my to-do list, am I leaving any room for what God’s plan is?

I have had some times where I am convinced I talked to someone due to a divine appointment that God set up. Maybe that person had an encouraging word for me, or maybe I was able to help them. If my value came from clean dishes, meals prepared ahead of time, a perfectly mowed yard, I may have missed out on a lot of great conversations and blessings with others. But if my value and worth comes from God, I look at each opportunity as a way to minister in His name. I do have something to offer - you also have something to offer. It is that something special that God has put into each of us. And He wants us to share that with others!

Let me encourage you – the dishes won’t wash themselves, they will wait for you. The laundry won’t grow legs and walk away from you – it will wait. Remember that your worth and value comes from God – be open and listening for what He has for you. Stop, Pray, and Rest when the doubts and imperfections start to pile up and ask God to fill you with reminders of who you are in His eyes. Ask Him to give you opportunities to share the many things that you have to offer. And He will. He WILL!

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Filed Under: daily blessings, family focused, finding peace, having faith in God

With Excitement and Some Fear

June 18, 2024 By Rebekah 0

I’d love to title this post simply, “With Excitement” but the truth is, I have to add the fear part. This is my “testing phase” each year. The time of year when I can step back and evaluate how everything is going…with some fear.A local church is having their week of Vacation Bible School, and their program runs from 9am-3pm, Monday through Friday. Last year all 3 kids were old enough to go; this year they will all go again. Picasso did well last year - a few bumps in the road, but no phone calls to pick him up, no “please come see the teacher” messages at the end of the day (although, to be honest, I did go see the teacher every day. I asked how he did, if there were any major problems).

This is the time of year when I hand my children over to some people that I only sort of know, and hope that my kids will do well. I hope that all of Picasso’s social skills training will stick in his mind. I hope that he will listen to other adults with the respect that they are due.

And, I (almost) wish this was a brand new thing in his life. Because he’s already been for one year, he doesn’t want to do any of the planning that we usually do for new situations. To him, it’s not new. It’s been a year, why would I treat it like it’s a “new” thing in his life?! I’m learning that he seems to remember things that happened some time ago, better than he remembers anything more recent (and yes, we’re looking into this). In this situation, that actually gives me some hope.

I’m going to have hours free each day to get things done - alone! To clean, without the “un-cleaning” crew coming along right behind me. I’m already making my list (even though I’m not a list-making person) for things I want to get done during my free time. I’m excited! This break comes at a nice time, for a lot of reasons.

And yet, my phones will be turned on - loud enough to be sure that I can hear them. That’s quite opposite from how our school year usually goes. During the school year, I often have the phone ringer turned off, and my cell phone is never louder than vibrate. We work on a distraction-free zone for much of the school day and it works well. This week, all phones on, loud enough for me to hear them.

Deep breaths…lots of trust in all that we have done, and all that God is doing in our lives and in our home…and a plan to keep me adequately busy and focused on what I’m wanting to get done this week! It will all go well, I’m sure - and even if it doesn’t go as perfectly as we all hope it will, things will still work out. And I need to focus on the excitement and not the fear, I know this. I could give a long list of the reasons why I’m trying to be

Filed Under: family focused, finding peace

In Search Of…

February 9, 2025 By Rebekah 5

Last year was a year that rocked our world - almost literally. I’m sure you’ve heard someone say something like, “She rocks my world,” or “You rock my world,” - meaning that they make your life so much more amazing.

That’s not the world-rocking to which I refer.

What I’m talking about is more like an earthquake - the world rattles and things get shaken up. Yeah, that’s what I’m talkin’ about - last year our little world got shaken up. I’ve never been to more appointments in my life. And if I remember correctly, not a one of them was for me. 3 kids went to 12 appointments with the pediatrician, 11 or 12 dental & orthodontist appointments, several appointments to the eye doctor, therapy - and then *more* therapy, developmental pediatrician, audiologist, to get blood drawn. And those are just the ones I can remember on the spur of the moment. We met new therapists, experienced different doctors, had more things to worry about than any other year before.

I’m tired. That’s actually a step up from exhausted, which was a step up from “can’t-put-one-foot-in-front-of-the-other-one-more-time.” Tired is not too bad!

And then came the new year. I knew I wanted to tackle this year differently - be more focused rather than feeling so reactionary. I have plans for this year. I plan to do more than “exist to drive to the next appointment”. I’ve planned things I want to do. No real big plans, but last year, I gave up on plans.

I’ve lived through the ups & downs and ins and outs of the last year.

As I consider the year ahead, as I’ve made a few plans (because I’m still too scared to make “many” plans), I’m starting to realize a common thread among the plans.

Peace.

Every plan, every goal I have in mind (the few I’m starting with) deal with peace. I didn’t plan it that way. I planned to handle this year differently. But I didn’t realize that, I guess subconsciously, I was looking for peace. Not peace as in “the absence of strife” but more along the lines of tranquility.

I am so eager for the year ahead. I feel like I can invest more in all of my family, not just in the one who needs everything. I think because we tackled most everything last year, there won’t be *as* much to do this year. There’s still therapy, there’s an IEP meeting soon, a doctor appointment in the spring, plus stuff for my other two amazing children. But this year, I know that it won’t be as hectic as last year.

I’m not planning any big projects. I’m planning to light a candle, drink a cup of tea, knit a little more, listen to some music, laugh a little more, and hopefully spend more time with friends. I’m planning to sleep more than 4-6 hours each night.

I’m searching for peace because last year it was hard to come by. I seem to be seeking it out without even realizing it. I’m looking forward to a dramatic change of pace. I realize this year won’t be easy and things will come up that I’m not yet prepared for, but I’m planning for peace.

Grab your favorite mug, pour some coffee or tea, sit down, put your feet up and join me. I could use some support in this journey. You’re with me, right?

Let’s start here: Islesford Dock, on Little Cranberry Island, in Bar Harbor, Maine. This is one of my favorite places - Tim & I have been here twice. You get there by boat, have a delightful dinner and head back as the sun is setting. It’s perfect.