Yes, I did just that. I left my son sitting at a picnic table by himself, and then I drove away.
Ok, let’s start at the end of this story, and then go back and fill in some blanks.
This story has a happy ending, and no, I did not neglect my son.
I shared a little while back that our son was accepted at a very prestigious music camp. This past week was the beginning of his session of camp, so we drove up, stood in the registration line, found his cabin, moved his month’s worth of belongings into the cabin, got the information for the lessons he’ll be taking, and then it was time to go.
The staff were still registering people and our son didn’t know anyone else, so it was hard to really get him connected. I knew that dinner would be the time when they’d start those connections and he’d find out who was in his cabin.
This camp has a very strict “no phones, no internet” policy, so I knew I would go for a little while without knowing how he was.
I didn’t realize it would be almost a whole week….
And so I gave him one more hug, walked away, and started the long drive home.
Alone.
Just like my son.
I left him sitting at picnic tables, reading a book, among a group of 75 kids where he knew no one.
This could have gone two ways.
1. Successfully - in which he would make friends, love what he was doing and my heart could feel peace.
2. Unsuccessfully - in which he would not want to stay, would have a miserable first week, and I would feel forever guilty.
(Now, I know I already told you how this turns out.)
But imagine leaving one of the people who you love most in this world.
This gave me a whole new appreciation for what the Father went through when Jesus went to the cross.
(No, I’m not comparing what I went through to what God went through when Jesus carried His cross up Golgatha, just saying that I understand the concept of “letting your child go” in a new and different way than I ever have before.)
When we had our kids we dedicated them back to God, meaning we knew that they were each a gift from Him. We promised to raise them to know the Lord, to help them grow spiritually, and to teach them to learn to follow God’s will in their lives.
So when the opportunity came for our son to attend this camp, we jumped at it. We knew God was opening a door for our son to pursue his talents. We knew this would be an amazing experience - personally and professionally.
We just didn’t expect that the beginning would be so tough.
I told you this ends well. Let me fill in those details.
My mom, my daughter and I went up to visit on Sunday and to hear my son and the other pianists perform. We arrived at lunchtime so we waited outside for the campers to finish lunch. When he came out and spotted us he came running over and gave us BIG hugs! I asked him if he was having any fun. The HUGE smile, the emphatic YES - they assured me that sending him to this camp was a good idea after all!
More than that, though, he told us about conversations he was having with others.
He’s in a cabin with 5 other guys his age. He said that morning he’d gotten up at 6am (to get a hot shower!) and spent about 90 minutes talking with the guys in his cabin. They must have talked about the fact that he was going to attend the Bible study the conductor was holding.
He said they asked him questions about how good people - those who give to the poor, volunteer, help others - could go to hell, but people who have spent their whole lives committing terrible acts of evil could enter heaven with a “deathbed conversion”.
They asked him questions about why he believes what he does.
And he said that for 90 minutes he had the opportunity to share his faith.
He is 15 years old.
The questions he dealt with can be hard for those of us who have lived our whole lives knowing Jesus.
Teens can ask some tough questions and be hard-headed and hard-hearted about the answers they receive.
And he talked. He just talked. He answered their questions and then he went to the Bible study the conductor held and got refilled.
As a parent, I was proud of his musical achievement (yes, we did hear him in concert that afternoon and he played well!), but I was so much more proud to hear the strength of his faith.
One of his goals in his music is to be able to have a platform to share his faith with others.
At 15 years old, he is successfully achieving that goal!
Sunday evening I left my son in almost the same spot.
This time he was hanging with friends, playing foosball and I knew he was having a great time.
I walked away. I turned to be sure he was okay.
He didn’t look back at me.
So I walked away from my son, for a second week, and didn’t go back.
Resources you might appreciate:
The Power of a Praying Parent
original photo source
This puts such a big smile on my face, and my heart. I’m so thankful he is enjoying camp, AND finding opportunities to share about his faith. His time at camp may very well be life-changing for him, but also for other kids he has the opportunity to touch. Lovely post, Becky!
Leah Adams recently posted…Does God Even Care About Me?
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Rebekah Reply:
July 28th, 2015 at 8:00 am
I was going to post something like this last week, but then was worried that maybe it wouldn’t turn out so well. 😉 A friend mentioned that her daughter went away for a while and came back so mature and grown up. I think that’s what’s happening for us, too. And I love this glimpse at the young man he’s becoming!
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I had a similar experience, though mine is s sadder one. I had to walk away from my preteen boys at the airport as they were flying back to see their dad. I knew at that moment I would never have them again/be a mom to those young boys again. ( it’s a long story, no substance abuse just a vindictive ex. )
I prayed many years and put them in gods hands.
They are grown up now and both are very successful with good jobs and are good men. God did keep them and care for them and help them through life. We are once again in each others lives.
I thank God for watching over them.
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Rebekah Reply:
July 28th, 2015 at 9:29 am
I’m so sorry - I can’t even begin to imagine. I was grateful to read that God kept them, and that you are in each other’s lives again. Thank you for sharing a part of your story!
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Oh, my. Sweet sister. Letting them go is so tough. It’s a good thing we couldn’t have imagined how hard it would be. I’m so glad you are here telling your story so that others on this path know they aren’t alone. Yes, it is hard. But God gives grace sufficient for the moment, doesn’t he?
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Rebekah Reply:
July 31st, 2015 at 9:10 am
I was just telling someone I dropped off my teen son, and I visited with a young man when we went to visit. The difference in just one week was astounding. He was responsible for his own schedule (getting to/from activities), getting his work done, etc. It was SO good to see him and know that he’s doing ok!
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Thank you for the reply Christi. I’m so glad I found Rebekah’s site and am able to feel the warmth of strangers, though we are not really as we are sisters in Christ. Some hurts never fully go away but kindness and compassion and Gods love get us through the days.
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When I sent my oldest to a new school I had a similar experience. It was a long walk back to the car, but the year turned out to be one of his greatest blessings. Thanks for writing this!
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Oh as they grow it gets harder and harder to let them go, but isn’t that what we are training them to do? I am reminded of that so often. The time left with my teens is minimal in comparison to when they were little, obviously, but so very pivotal with the things we pour into them and the conversations they are having.
I am glad that you were able to to relate such an encouraging story!
Blessings,
Dawn
Dawn recently posted…When Grace Pours Out-{Warrior Heart Series}
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Koli, you are so right that there are no strangers in the body. I’m glad you are here at Becky’s place. There is an overflow of warmth here!
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