This Chapter

We all have a story - a beautiful story, written by God, made for sharing with others. I just read a post about that at The Brown Tribe - Don’t Hold Your Story In. (Go read it, please - it’s just what I needed this evening. No doubt it will be a blessing to you, too!) And I think that’s what has got me a little stuck recently - the ups and downs in this chapter of my story.

This chapter has a lot of positives. My children are happy, my marriage is probably the most healthy it has ever been. I wake up so grateful every morning. Our oldest son has applied and auditioned for some of the best music schools in the nation. We shake our heads in amazement all the time - his musical abilities and where they are taking him are something that happens to someone else. And yet, God has blessed him with these talents and abilities and it is up to us to try to lead him in his pursuit of music. Simply amazing - and we’re so grateful!

And then, there are the downs. I had a friend tell me that she felt people just weren’t sure how to approach me or what to say, based on a situation we’re dealing with in our home. So I’m supposed to juggle a job, schooling my kids, being the one who has to get them to all of their activities, or arrange transportation for them, and my kids end up missing out on activities because most of my friends don’t reach out and make sure I’m surviving the big storm and that I still feel connected. . Maybe I’m trying to distance myself, this friend wondered. Not at all. I just cannot do it all. Where’s the help from those who were supposed to be doing life with me?

What I’ve seen happen lately is that the good and the bad happen back to back. One day can be so full and so rewarding, and the next can be such a slap in the face.

For a couple of weeks, I have opened the blog and then hit the wall. It’s been like a slap in the face.

See, this isn’t just the space where I write a few words, make a nice picture and send it out into the blogosphere.

No, this is the space where I meet Jesus. This is the space where He and I have some precious conversations, and He reminds me that this is a story that He is writing.

And then I read the post I mentioned above - Don’t Hold Your Story In. And for the first time, I got past the wall.

Yes, this is a messy story with pain from so many different angles.

But I have learned something wonderful as I watch God’s story unfold in my life: He will work it out.

Not only will He work it out, He will make it beautiful!

I’ve shared before that I’ve lost a lot on this journey, and loss is so painful.

I’ve logged countless hours on my end of the couch. I have had open, honest conversations with God where I did not mince words. I’ve missed night after night of good, deep sleep as I fought the enemy’s attacks. Because at the end of the day, that’s what it really is - an attack of the enemy.

And sometimes we need a reminder that while it may seem as though he’s winning, he’s not. He may seem fierce and ferocious right now, but God has given us a spirit of power, of love, and of a sound mind (II Timothy 1:7).

If you’re anything like me, you need that reminder that we need to use that power, that love, and that sound mind to tell the enemy that he isn’t welcomed here. This heart, this home, even this messy chapter in life is protected by Jesus!

Maybe you’re feeling stuck. Friend, please take it from me: it’s not forever. You may be stuck for right now, but you can use this time to draw so close to Jesus. And remember that when He is ready, He will close this chapter and you’ll move on to what He has for you next.

Now to him who is able to keep you from stumbling and to present you blameless before the presence of his glory with great joy, to the only God, our Savior, through Jesus Christ our Lord, be glory, majesty, dominion, and authority, before all time and now and forever. Amen.
Jude 24, 25