I woke up this morning on the wrong side of the bed, feeling a little grumpy and a lot groggy. It was one of those dreary, rain-filled starts to the day that left much to be desired.

I struggled to get out of bed, I struggled to get off of the couch, and I struggled to get out of my pajamas. What I really wanted to do was curl up in my soft bed with a good book and read away the day, but I have two preschoolers at home (the older two were at school) who required attention and a mountain of laundry that spilled ominously over the sides of the baskets.

I knew that if I didn’t kick it into gear immediately, I would waste away the day!

So what is a non-coffee-drinking, busy mom of four to do on a dreary morning such as this?

Let’s be honest; it’s the starting that is so difficult. Often if I can get myself going on just the first task in a long list of stuff to be done, I find the energy to do even more! Here are my favorite ways to get started in the morning.

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10 Ways to Jumpstart Your Morning

1. Go to bed earlier the night before! I know, I know - that’s the most obvious advice ever. But it’s true. When the twins were infants, I forced myself to go to bed not long after they did. I knew that if I didn’t go to bed right away, the next day would be miserable and difficult. However, now that they are a little older, I’ve gotten out of the habit of early bedtime. It’s too easy to give in to the thought, “Just a few more minutes of me-time.” One of my work-in-progress goals is to go to bed earlier so that I can get out of bed earlier the next morning, (emphasis on the work-in-progress)!

2. Shower (or at least splash some cold water on your face). I know there are many mornings that showering first thing just isn’t an option, especially if you have little ones in the house. I have found that on the days when I have to wait for my shower (or even go without), washing my face goes a long way toward helping my sleepy eyes stay open.

3. Spend time with the Lord. Rarely do I have time for a full quiet time first thing in the morning; I save that for the quiet of nap time. However, whenever possible I try to at least offer a quick prayer of thankfulness for a new day and a request for assistance. I pray for strength, patience, and sensitivity to the Spirit’s leading. Taking just a minute or so to focus my eyes on Jesus really changes my attitude. How can we expect to exhibit the spiritual fruits of love, patience, kindess, etc. if we don’t stay connected to the vine?

4.Change into real clothes. Did you know that simply changing out of your pajamas into your everyday clothes sends a signal to your body that it’s time to wake up? (Just look up circadian rhythms on google.) What a simple and quick way to jumpstart your morning.

5. Turn on the lights. Just as changing our clothes sends a signal to our bodies, exposing ourselves to light also signals that it is wake-up time. Open the curtains or blinds; if it’s dreary outside, turn on the lights!

6. Eat breakfast! When the twins were infants, I often found myself eating meals hours after I normally would, which left me feeling tired and grouchy. Your metabolism needs to be nudged in the mornings, and a healthy breakfast is the way to do it. If I don’t have time for a full breakfast, I grab a protein granola bar or some greek yogurt. They make a great way to jumpstart your morning when you need to be on the go.

7. Drink one to two full glasses of water. Just as eating breakfast turns up the metabolism heat, drinking water also revs up your bodies’ energy engine. Additionally, it makes up for any dehydration you may be experiencing after the nighttime hours of not drinking. Dehydration can cause drowsiness, foggy brain function, memory lapses, and more.

8. Get physically active! I am learning this particular nugget of advice works wonders for me. If I go from my bed to the couch or even a chair, that groggy feeling is going to persist much longer! Sometimes I purposefully eat my breakfast standing up. However, the best mornings take place when I have time to do 20 minutes of pilates or a quick Leslie Sansone 1-mile walk. A mere fifteen minutes of exercise boosts the metabolism, enhances my mood, and gives me energy all at the same time. Win, win, win! However, in our busy household, I often lack time for exercise first thing in the morning. I’ve found that even doing some housework at a quick pace works. Just get moving!

9. Turn up the tunes. No, not the tv, but the radio! Jumpstart your morning with music. This is my favorite way to lift a grumpy mood and energize my body, no matter what time of day. Find your favorite upbeat station and turn the volume up!! Not only will you enjoy the music, but your children (if you have any at home) will love it, too. I tend to listen to a lot of contemporary Christian music because in addition to the musical beat, the biblical truth in the lyrics sets my heart on a good path, too. In fact, on mornings when everyone seems to have been bitten by the grumpy bug during the night, blasting some music can transform the entire household.

10. Keep in mind that every day is a gift from God, even if today doesn’t “feel” like a gift! I’ll be honest; some days I wake up dreading the hard work or busy schedule ahead. But on those days when I remember that life is a gift, that serving the Lord is a gift, too, even the busiest schedule becomes manageable.

These verses encourage me to make the most of my days:

“This is the day which the Lord has made; Let us rejoice and be glad in it.” Psalm 118:24

“The Lord is my strength and song, And He has become my salvation; This is my God, and I will praise Him; My father’s God, and I will extol Him.” Exodus 15:2

“Do not be grieved, for the joy of the Lord is your strength.” Nehemiah 8:10

Don’t be disheartened by a dreary start to the morning, friends.

Instead, ask the Lord to help you see the potential in the day that lies ahead, or ask Him for grace and strength to endure the tough ones.

Rejoice in the new day He has given you!

Jen 🙂

I’d love to hear from you: what methods do you use to get going on those sleepy mornings? What verses encourage you to make a good start to the day? Share a tip in the comments to help the rest of us sleepy moms!

“The heartbeat looks strong. The measurements are all within normal range. Um, I have to go get the doctor to discuss this with you…just a minute.”

Dear Doctor,

You once asked me what I was going to do. You had just finished telling me that everything would almost certainly be fine, that a large number of people have these cysts as adults and have no problems. The cyst that was growing inside our baby’s head was no reason for concern.

So I replied that I would discuss today’s ultrasound results with my doctor the next time I saw her.

“There are other options.”

In one breath, you told me he was fine - there was no cause for concern. In the next breath, you gave me “options”. You reminded me that many people don’t want to be bothered with carrying a baby to term if there is the slightest possibility of a problem, though you said there was no cause for alarm. You told me this cyst would have to be accompanied by any number of other issues for there to be a “problem”.

You offered me options.

I’m sharing the rest of this story at Being Confident of This. Please join us as this is a story that’s so important to share.

We all know how difficult the tween and teen years can be on these children who are trying so hard to become adults. Their bodies change drastically, their friendships become more complicated, their schoolwork more intense, and they begin to get minds of their own, if you know what I mean (wink).

No one enjoys moody tweens or teens who intentionally distances themselves from others, who antagonize siblings, or who resent authority, yet if we aren’t careful, that’s exactly the type of tween or teen we may end up with!

How do we avoid this mistake?

How can we keep tweens and teens engaged in the family dynamic so that they stay rooted and connected?

How do we encourage independence without encouraging isolation?

Our family intentionally employs several strategies for keeping tweens and teens in the family, and I’d love to share them with you as they have worked well for us so far.

8 Ways to Keep Tweens and Teens in the Family

1. Keep up the bedtime hugs and I-love-yous through those awkward tween years.

I remember around the age of twelve or thirteen thinking I was too old for bedtime hugs. So, I started saying goodnight from the doorway of the living room rather than going in to hug my parents. This continued for several months until I began to miss those hugs. But by then I felt stuck.

Fast forward a few decades and I find myself in the same situation with our two oldest boys, one sixteen and the other ten. Because we were intentional about asking our sons for hugs goodnight, our sixteen-year-old man-cub continues to do so. The ten-year-old imp is a little more reluctant, but he usually relents with a grin. Since I know he’s not the huggy type, I keep it brief for him.

As parents, we have to intentionally set aside any awkwardness in order to embrace our tweens and teens.

If we begin to act shy or awkward about hugging for real, then our tweens and teens will sense that and hold back, too. But they still need those hugs.

We set the tone.

2. Guard the hearts of your tweens and teens by setting family rules for electronics, internet access, and phones.

We do this in our family in three practical ways. First, we limit the amount of time they are allowed to spend on personal devices such as ipods, Nintendo DSs, computers or tablets, and so forth.

The more time they spend engaged in their personal devices is less time they spend engaged with others.

Second, we have a rule that such devices be used only by permission and only in the family common areas rather than in their own rooms. This holds them accountable for what they are viewing and keeps them near the family even if they aren’t actively engaged. In fact, often our younger children will gather around an older brother’s tablet or DS to join in on the fun!

At bedtime, all devices remain downstairs.

Third, when we switched to all cell phones and no home phone, we intentionally bought our oldest son an old model phone without a data plan. Yes, parents, you are allowed to say “no” to data!

Our teen’s phone also has limited minutes and texts. He knows that to add anyone to his phone or to give out his number, he first needs our permission. We also didn’t allow him to have a facebook page until recently because we know the dangers (and drama!) associated with it. I know it sounds strict, but being protective over our teen’s friendships is an important part of parenting at this age.

We also do our best to model responsible social media usage to our children by keeping phones away from the family table and leaving electronics at home when we go on a family vacation. Monkey see, monkey do, right? We don’t want tweens and teens who are so fettered to their devices that they miss out on interacting with the people right in front of them.

Granted, it’s not a popular position, but it’s hard to argue with a mama who grew up on the mission field very limited phones and tv! 😉

3. Require participation in family time.

Unless it’s family game night (think board games or wii), this is the one area in which our oldest boy sometimes resists or complains because playing outdoors isn’t his favorite. However, usually once we get playing, he enjoys himself.

I firmly believe that even if he mopes at first, at least he knows that we want him with us.

At the same time, we occasionally release him from family obligations should he have a reasonable request, which brings us to the next point…

4. Recognize tweens’ and teens’ growing independence.

As a sixteen-year-old, our son is involved in several extra-curricular activities. At first, it was hard for this over-protective mama to allow such independence with her firstborn son! But I’m learning to let go slowly. 🙂

Recognize also that your maturing tweens and teens are coming into their own, but they haven’t had much practice yet. They need to be heard and respected, even if they sometimes fail to act or speak in a respectful manner.

Address disrespect, by all means, but try to do so gently. Sometimes a punishment does more harm than good.

Sometimes what they really need is someone to model a better way to express themselves.

5. Listen to your tweens and teens!

Between my husband’s youth pastor days and my days as a substitute teacher, I’ve spent a lot of time with tweens and teens. What I’ve learned is that most of them just want someone friendly to talk to. They yearn to be heard and appreciated for who they are. They also fear not being good enough.

Our oldest son doesn’t always open up to me like he used to So when he does want to talk, even if it seems inconsequential at the time, I have to remind myself to stop and listen. I want our children to know that they matter infinitely more than laundry, or cleaning, or writing.

I’ve also recently noticed that if I seem the least bit distracted when our ten-year-old tween wants to tell me a story (and believe me, this one has LOTS of stories), he will soon give up and walk away. And if that happens often enough, he’s likely to quit telling me his stories, even when they really matter.

We want to avoid that kind of breakdown in communication, especially at this age!

So I remind myself: lay down your task, make eye contact, show him he matters to you.

6. Emphasize the importance of sibling roles.

As an oldest child myself, I know that the burdens of being the oldest aren’t always easy to bear. I try to keep this in mind when dealing with our oldest son’s frustrations.

When he’s feeling weighed down by the burdens of being the oldest, I acknowledge those feelings. I listen to him. But I also point out the privileges of being oldest - staying up later, more freedom, etc. I know younger siblings can often be annoying, but when he realizes that they really just want to be with him because they think he is so awesome, it gives him a different perspective.

Looking back at my own teen years, I know it’s easy to become self-absorbed during these years and neglect family relationships. I don’t want that for my children.

Letting my boys know that they are an important and necessary part of our family encourages them to be leaders. When they know that we see their efforts to do right, to help lead our family, then they are more likely to be good examples to their younger brother and sister.

7. Tweens and Teens still need one-on-one time.

I really appreciate the recent push for Daddy-daughter and mother-son date nights because I think one-on-one time with parents is important. But often it seems most of these nights out are aimed at younger children.

It’s easy during theses tween and teen years of busyness to let myself count time spent watching games and performances as time with my kids. While that support of them is important, it shouldn’t be a substitute for quality one-on-one time.

We must be intentional about spending that time with them one-on-one, friends. That’s when the good conversations happen, the deep questions, the excellent opportunities to guide them!

8. Pray, pray, and pray some more.

I’m not a perfect parent, and neither is my husband. We are bound to make mistakes.

So are you.

The best thing we can do for our children is to pray that they will remain on the right path. We can also pray for wisdom in parenting them, especially since no two children are alike! I specifically pray for sensitivity to the Holy Spirit in the are of parenting so that when I’m distracted or irritable or impatient, I recognize it right away.

Even if it seems your prayers aren’t working, don’t give up! You never know when tweens or teens will turn the corner.

Train up a child in the way he should go, Even when he is old he will not depart from it. Prov. 22:6

The tween years may seem to last forever, but once you get past them into the teen years, you realize you’ll be saying goodbye much, much sooner than you want to. Let’s keep our tweens and teens deeply rooted in the family so that when they face a real challenge, or when they stumble and fall, they know they have a safe and loving place to come to!

Fight back against their tendency to isolate themselves.

Don’t let them believe that they are going through this difficult phase of life alone.

And don’t forget to pray!

Jen 🙂

*For more on raising up your family in the faith, see the rest of the posts in the We Are Fa-mi-ly Series at Being Confident of This.

I’m excited to be sharing at Jen’s blog, Being Confident of This. She’s doing a series on Family this month. You saw her post here a couple weeks back, and this week I’m sharing over at her blog. It’s a blessing to partner with another blogger who shares on the same topics and has a heart for marriage, family and missions.

* * * * *

The other morning we woke up to a winter wonderland. The massive amounts of snow they predicted arrived during the overnight hours and we were looking at about 24 inches by the time it was all said and done. What I really want to remember from that day, though, is that my kids were spending time together - and it is not just because of the snow. With kids at a wide variety of ages, it can be hard to build those strong relationships.

I want to share 3 ways to build healthy sibling relationships. Please understand, I’m certainly not an expert and my kids do not always get along, but I think that these tips are ones we can all agree on and share with our children.

3 Tips for Building Strong Sibling Bonds

1. Prayer

As our family grew, one thing my husband and I have done is to pray for our family - specifically our children and their relationships with one another. We realize that you cannot force people to get along, but prayer invites God to work in ways that we cannot. Unfortunately, prayer has not always been our first resource. We’ve tried taking matters into our own hands many times. I often wonder how much less stress we might have felt if prayer had been our first resource rather than our last resort.

[bctt tweet=”How much less stress might we have if prayer is our first resource rather than our last resort.”]

What we’ve really learned with prayer, though, is that it’s about more than just us praying for our children. The times that have been a big blessing in the kids’ lives have been when they have prayed for each other. There is tremendous power when you genuinely pray for someone else; it makes it difficult to stay upset with them.

Join me over at Being Confident of This to read the final two points on building strong sibling relationships.

Today I’m sharing at Kaylene’s blog, in a month-long series on raising boys. I wrote the actual post a couple months back, but I was re-reading it today as I prepared to share it here. It’s no coincidence, in my mind, that this post is being shared immediately after the one where I shared that we’ve started back to church. I love when God works things out in such a manner. Anyway, on to the post…

Very quickly, and right before my eyes, my boys are turning into young men. My younger son has gained some independence over the past year, and my older son has passed me in height and has spent time away from home pursuing his passion. One thing that I’ve found to be extremely beneficial in their growth and development has been the presence of godly role models.

If I want my sons to grow to be godly men, I need to be sure they are surrounded by men who will be a model of excellence for them.

I love the verse in Luke 2, talking about Jesus’ growth and development. This is a verse we’ve prayed for our sons, trusting that God would work the same way in their lives:

And Jesus grew in wisdom and stature, and in favor with God and man.
Luke 2:52

Our prayer for our sons has always been that God would provide just the right people, especially men, to speak wisdom and godliness into their lives. We had a very specific answer to this prayer during the month our older son was away.

Come on over to Kaylene’s to read about a very special role model that God provided, and some of the role models we’re blessed with in our day-to-day lives.

photo source

Yes, I did just that. I left my son sitting at a picnic table by himself, and then I drove away.

Ok, let’s start at the end of this story, and then go back and fill in some blanks.

This story has a happy ending, and no, I did not neglect my son.

I shared a little while back that our son was accepted at a very prestigious music camp. This past week was the beginning of his session of camp, so we drove up, stood in the registration line, found his cabin, moved his month’s worth of belongings into the cabin, got the information for the lessons he’ll be taking, and then it was time to go.

The staff were still registering people and our son didn’t know anyone else, so it was hard to really get him connected. I knew that dinner would be the time when they’d start those connections and he’d find out who was in his cabin.

This camp has a very strict “no phones, no internet” policy, so I knew I would go for a little while without knowing how he was.

I didn’t realize it would be almost a whole week….

And so I gave him one more hug, walked away, and started the long drive home.

Alone.

Just like my son.

I left him sitting at picnic tables, reading a book, among a group of 75 kids where he knew no one.

This could have gone two ways.

1. Successfully - in which he would make friends, love what he was doing and my heart could feel peace.

2. Unsuccessfully - in which he would not want to stay, would have a miserable first week, and I would feel forever guilty.

(Now, I know I already told you how this turns out.)

But imagine leaving one of the people who you love most in this world.

This gave me a whole new appreciation for what the Father went through when Jesus went to the cross.

(No, I’m not comparing what I went through to what God went through when Jesus carried His cross up Golgatha, just saying that I understand the concept of “letting your child go” in a new and different way than I ever have before.)

When we had our kids we dedicated them back to God, meaning we knew that they were each a gift from Him. We promised to raise them to know the Lord, to help them grow spiritually, and to teach them to learn to follow God’s will in their lives.

So when the opportunity came for our son to attend this camp, we jumped at it. We knew God was opening a door for our son to pursue his talents. We knew this would be an amazing experience - personally and professionally.

We just didn’t expect that the beginning would be so tough.

I told you this ends well. Let me fill in those details.

My mom, my daughter and I went up to visit on Sunday and to hear my son and the other pianists perform. We arrived at lunchtime so we waited outside for the campers to finish lunch. When he came out and spotted us he came running over and gave us BIG hugs! I asked him if he was having any fun. The HUGE smile, the emphatic YES - they assured me that sending him to this camp was a good idea after all!

More than that, though, he told us about conversations he was having with others.

He’s in a cabin with 5 other guys his age. He said that morning he’d gotten up at 6am (to get a hot shower!) and spent about 90 minutes talking with the guys in his cabin. They must have talked about the fact that he was going to attend the Bible study the conductor was holding.

He said they asked him questions about how good people - those who give to the poor, volunteer, help others - could go to hell, but people who have spent their whole lives committing terrible acts of evil could enter heaven with a “deathbed conversion”.

They asked him questions about why he believes what he does.

And he said that for 90 minutes he had the opportunity to share his faith.

He is 15 years old.

The questions he dealt with can be hard for those of us who have lived our whole lives knowing Jesus.

Teens can ask some tough questions and be hard-headed and hard-hearted about the answers they receive.

And he talked. He just talked. He answered their questions and then he went to the Bible study the conductor held and got refilled.

As a parent, I was proud of his musical achievement (yes, we did hear him in concert that afternoon and he played well!), but I was so much more proud to hear the strength of his faith.

One of his goals in his music is to be able to have a platform to share his faith with others.

At 15 years old, he is successfully achieving that goal!

Sunday evening I left my son in almost the same spot.

This time he was hanging with friends, playing foosball and I knew he was having a great time.

I walked away. I turned to be sure he was okay.

He didn’t look back at me.

So I walked away from my son, for a second week, and didn’t go back.

Resources you might appreciate:
The Power of a Praying Parent

original photo source

Sharing at Grace & Truth

I probably could have been home twenty minutes earlier if I had kept up with traffic, and taken the shorter route home. I took the long way home today, though. Things have been a little up in the air for me lately, but that’s not why I drove more slowly and took turns that would make our trip longer.

Today I wanted to get home. I had things I wanted to do after my son’s two hours of therapy and then an hour drive home. As a parent, though, it’s not always about me.

My 3rd grader has to read several novels this year. Honestly, this is one of the hardest parts of our schooling venture as reading comprehension is such a struggle for him. His list of novels includes some that I knew would be a little too easy, and some that would definitely be too hard.

He chose Johnny Tremain as one of his novels to read. It is such a great piece of literature and really makes the Boston Tea Party and the Revolutionary War era come alive for young minds!

However, I knew, going into it, that this book would be one that was much too hard for him, in terms of comprehension. He seemed determined, though, even if he could only read 1 or 2 pages at a time. We had the novel list over the summer, and he actually started this book in August.

322 pages of Revolutionary War era historical fiction - it doesn’t get much better for a young boy who loves to study about wars, guns, the effects on culture and economy, and so forth. However, at only 1-2 pages at a time? This book was bordering on torture for me - constant reminders to please read a few more pages.

“Try to finish a section,” I begged, “and maybe even a whole chapter!”

Only to be met with, “No possible way! This book is too hard for me to read too much of at one time.”

GREAT realization of his own needs, if I do say so myself! But, it did not bode well for finishing a 322-page book. (And yes, I do know I’ve already mentioned that the book has 322 pages. It just seems to bear repeating.)

When we were getting ready to go to therapy today, I asked him to take his book and work on getting it done. He was on page 288, so I was moderately hopeful! After eating some lunch, he had a little while to read, and read the 12 pages to get to page 300.

He read 12 pages on the drive to therapy. That meant 22 pages to read on the way home. I wasn’t hopeful.

And then we started driving. He’d give me little progress reports. He’d peek out from behind the seat and say, “Page 304!” Or he’d comment about what was happening on page 307. As we sat in a little traffic, I realized we could maybe - just maybe - get this book finished…if…I took the long way home today.

And so I slowed down. I didn’t keep pace with people in the left or middle lane. Rather I slowed down to the speed of people in the slow lane. (Around here, that’s the lane where people *only* drive about 5 miles per hour *over* the speed limit. Not really “the slow lane”; I realize that.)

As it worked, there was an accident on a separate road and so it took longer to get to our exit, and I chose to view that as a blessing (in order to give him more time with his book) rather than to be frustrated that the drive home was taking even longer.

As we got closer to where we live, I made the choice to stay on the main road rather than take a short cut. I had to chuckle when I rounded the big bend in the road, only to find out that we were behind a long school bus, which could not drive up the hills very quickly.

And so he read more pages.

And then we got to our town. In the spirit of really taking the long way home, I opted out of the final “shortcut” and drove through the center of town. We waited in a couple long lines of traffic at a red light, we had several stop signs on our route, and I drove down the final small hill at about 10 miles per hour. I went about as far out of my way as I could, while still trying to get us home.

He wasn’t finished.

I turned slowly into our driveway, disheartened because he hadn’t finished.

I put the van in park.

And then I heard, “I’m DONE,” and I saw the biggest I’ll-show-you-all-my-teeth-because-I’m-so-happy-this-is-DONE grin!

Several months, 322 pages, a great historical fiction book - DONE!

I hope he always remembers how happy he felt to have finished this book. I hope he feels pride in his effort, and that maybe, just maybe, he actually will remember some of what he read!

And though he won’t ever really know why he was successful at completing the book on this day, I will know.

I’ll know that it’s because I took the long way home today.