“Some people wish to live within the sound of church or chapel bell.
I want to run a rescue shop within a yard of Hell.”
-C.T. Studd, missionary
I grew up knowing this quote, as my parents are missionaries with the mission agency that C.T. Studd founded. I grew up agreeing with this quote, thinking about the power within this statement. The imagery from these few words came alive to me over the years.
Enter by the narrow gate. For the gate is wide and the way is easy that leads to destruction, and those who enter by it are many. For the gate is narrow and the way is hard that leads to life, and those who find it are few.
Matthew 7:13,14
Imagine - the end of a long path, and suddenly the road splits. The path to the left is well-worn, and most people seem to be going that way, passing through a wide-open gate, into an unknown future. The path to the right is hardly visible - seems it’s there, but terribly hard to see. The gate is very narrow - so much so that you have to intentionally decide you want to go through it. It won’t fit you and a friend, or you and a spouse. Only one person can pass through at a time.
And you have to choose which way to go.
Now imagine - someone is standing at the fork in the road begging you to go to the right - to take the path that is hardly visible.
Okay, they’ve got your attention. After all, what could be so enticing about a path that is hardly visible, and a gate that is hardly passable? So you stop to listen.
With all the zeal they can muster, they begin to implore you to choose the path to the right.
You hear the laughter and merriment of those choosing the path to the left.
Yet their fervor draws your attention. Their words, “Trust Jesus, He gives life,” intrigue you.
And in those 3 seconds, hundreds have passed you by, choosing the other path.
Now, imagine you are the one at the fork in the road. You know that the path to the right leads to everlasting life, and the path on the left leads to destruction.
You are the one running that rescue shop - grabbing hold of everyone you can, trying to save a life, trying to encourage those who are making choices that lead them toward destruction.
We all face troubles in our marriage - communication, finances, relational. Some of those problems can drive us together, unifying us in our relationship.
Other problems, though, can threaten to drive a wedge between us. We can be lured into fighting for our own desires, rather than fighting for our marriage.
Perhaps your struggles have come to the point where you’re content to let your spouse go. If they want to choose that path to the left, the well-worn path, then so be it. They’ve made their choice and you’re tired of trying to dissuade them.
Suddenly you are face to face with your spouse, who is struggling mightily, trying to decide which path to take.
Are you actually content to let them go down whichever path they choose?
Are you truly at peace with letting them choose the path to destruction? Really?
The Lord is not slow to fulfill his promise as some count slowness, but is patient toward you, not wishing that any should perish, but that all should reach repentance.
II Peter 3:9
God is not willing that any should perish. He is patient toward us.
So why do we often find it okay to be impatient with others, especially our spouse?
Why are we so willing to throw our marriage away, rather than working with our spouse to stay together?
What if we are standing at that fork in the road, fighting desperately for each and every soul…
Would we really just let our spouse walk on by?
I know there are times when staying in a marriage is not safe. I also know that too often, our culture throws out marriage - dumps it in the trash - for the sake or personal convenience.
Maybe it’s time that we planted our feet, dug in deep, and started fighting as hard for our spouse as we would for any other person who needs Jesus.
Let’s be a generation that doesn’t run from adversity, but runs in to rescue others when adversity threatens.
And let’s start with those in our own four walls.
Here’s a practical application - learn II Peter 3:9. When adversity rears its ugly head within your home and marriage, when you are tempted to run from the situation, recite that verse. Even better? Substitute your spouse’s name into the verse:
The Lord is not slow to fulfill his promise as some count slowness, but is patient toward (your spouse’s name), not wishing that (he - your spouse) should perish, but that all should reach repentance.
II Peter 3:9
Thank you, to those who are reaching out and sharing your story.
Please know, I am praying for all of you this week.
I love this ! It so spoke to me in a heavy but good way. Thank You!
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I am Digging My Knees into the carpet and fighting for my Spouse. What makes it so hard is that He was raised Lutheran and I was raised Baptist but we attend a Modern Episcopal Church. He also suffers from a Severe Social Anxiety/ADHD and refuses to get treatment for it. I suffer from PTSD/ ADD but I am in Therapy and on medicines for it. There is a acronym that I use after a popular book called P.U.S.H. = Pray Until Something Happens. I have been praying for my own family’s Salvation and to truly know Jesus as their Saviour for the past 30 years. Even though they have been in Church all these years they do not truly know God. But I have come to know that I may plant the Seeds but it may be someone else who waters that seed and yet someone else whose harvests that seed. But I will keep on praying until my last breath on earth.
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We had some losses in our life. I took it out on my husband, and was drowining in my grief. I kept pushing him away. It would have been so easy for the two of us to walk from each other. However, our vows were for “I will love and stand with you in good times, and in bad times”. We got professional help (Christian martial counselling, grief counselling and individual counselling for me (I had a lot of guilt. I blamed myself for my miscarriages). Through that, and prayer, we surivived and we are stronger for it.
I am not saying our marriage is perfect and that we have no issues now, but we are willing to work on it when things get tough.
Today’s culture is to love them and leave them. Before people divorce, they should be required to go through some counselling to see if they can make it work.
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I keep reading this and praying that my husband comes home. We just divorced, his choice. I fought to save our marriage of 24 years, he did not and gave up. This man is and will always be the love of my life. I know the path he has chosen, is not the correct path, but at this point I am unsure of what to do. We have made it through many trials in our marriage, and I really wanted to make it through this one. He feels he is missing something, and has told me he doesn’t miss me, he’s not coming home, but he misses my voice. I am praying that he finds his way home.
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Such a great post, Becky. So much hard won wisdom here. Marriage is hard…one of the hardest things I’ve ever done, but so worth the work. My husband and I marvel at the fact that we are together and stronger than ever after 21 years. We praise God for our marriage, although it is not perfect. There have been struggles and times when we wanted to walk away, but we didn’t. Both of us are so thankful that we stayed.
Leah Adams recently posted…Pergamum/Pergamos ~ The Compromising Church ~ Part 1
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Rebekah, you will only know the number of women you have encouraged through your blog when we are rejoicing in heaven. Keep bringing glory to God through it all, sister!
Aimee Imbeau recently posted…What I Found At His Feet
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This is wonderful! There have been numerous times early in our 36-year marriage that one of us was going after the other wandering down the wrong road. So, your post speaks to me as a reminder. We are youth leaders in a Hispanic church and I have also spoken these things to the youth.
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Thank you for this. My husband and I are going through a hard time right now. After fifteen years of being together (back to our teens), we started to grow apart in our relationship. Then we both chose paths that weren’t good for us and I realized that our marriage needs help. He is still struggling but we are trying to make things work. At our wedding I sang a song by Bruce Springsteen that says ‘I’ll wait for you, and if I should fall behind, wait for me.’ We’ve decided that that is important for us to remember and I felt like your words really touched on this. One person may be heading to the wrong path or have already gone there, it is our job as their spouse to save them from this and support them in making the better decision. Marriage is hard work, and I think it takes an astronomical amount of team work and support from each other, but with communication and dedication to the relationship it can work.
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