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Am I Cheapening Grace in my Marriage?

On October 3, 2013, I met someone. I was at a place in life that I’d never scripted for myself - never would have scripted for myself - and found myself in an office of a man who didn’t know me, and certainly didn’t owe me anything.

I don’t know if it was standard practice to pay the fee as he did. Based on a very few conversations I’ve had with others who have been in a similar spot, his payment was very unusual.

I don’t think the money he contributed amounted to much by today’s standards. I was tempted to open the envelope and see how much he was paying. And while I don’t think it was money out of his pocket, it would be extremely unusual for this kind of business to contribute anything to those of us who find our way into their office.

My best guess at how much money he put into that envelope? $25 or less. I might be wrong, but I’m pretty sure I saw most, if not all, of what he put in, and it was less than $25.

Now, $25 is not a huge amount of money, but it’s not insignificant either. And when you’re at a crossroads in life, when your world has just been shattered, when you’re uncertain of what is coming, full of fear, trepidation and anxiety, a small monetary gift is not at all insignificant.

The money in that envelope was a gift. Freely given.

The man I met that day gave me grace.

I met a man who extended grace to my marriage. Are my actions a reflection of gratitude, or do they cheapen his grace in my marriage?

I’ve never forgotten him, though I can’t remember his name.

The odd thing, though, is the timing of when I remember him.

I remember him when I argue with my husband.
I think about him when I feel frustrated at my current state, when I long for a way out.
I remember his goodness when I struggle to be kind.

You see, someone paid a large debt that day - one that bought freedom. I’m eternally grateful for that, and I long to live up to the kindness that was paid.

On top of that huge kindness, though, this man - who did not know us - gave us grace.

Three people gave extravagant grace that day.

Three people believed enough on that day to pay money toward something that wasn’t guaranteed to work out.

So when I choose to wallow in self-pity due to my circumstances, when I don’t let go of a disagreement, when I lose my footing and wonder where God is and why He’s allowing this,

am I cheapening the grace they shared with me?

Have I taken the gift that was given and totally disregarded it each time that I choose to act out of selfishness instead of love?

If I stood in front of that man today, would I be able to say that I have used his gift well? Have I put his gift to use, to grow and nurture it in a way that would benefit us?

Or have I stomped my feet and pouted, acted ungrateful, and disregarded grace?

I’m afraid I’ve disregarded his gift too often. I’ve been ungrateful for his grace.

* * * * *

There was another man who gave an extravagant gift of grace.

His gift was not money, it was His life.

He invested His life - His perfect, sinless life - to cover over my sins. He invested in me, even though there was a chance I might not live for Him.

Each new day brings opportunities to choose to honor His gift - my eternal life.

Each day brings opportunities to share His gift with others, because His gift wasn’t just for me.

Jesus died to give us all the opportunity to choose life - eternal life - with Him. His gift is free. It costs us nothing except the decision to live for Him, putting aside our wishes for His plan for our lives.

I’ve had my whole life, and I will have the rest of my life, to share His gift with others.

* * * * *

The man I met in October, 2013, invested into my life. He chose to pay a debt he did not owe. Maybe someday I’ll get a chance to ask him why he did that.

Whatever his reason, I have the opportunity - every single day - to use the gift that he gave me.

I can work with my husband to strengthen our marriage. I can support him through the challenges he’s facing. I can choose to continue to abide in Christ, knowing that He is faithful.

Not only that, but the man’s gift gives me courage to sit here and share with you. It gives me courage to answer the emails that come - the ones asking for prayer, begging for hope, pleading for someone who understands just how awful things can be inside of a marriage.

* * * * *

What gift have you been given, regardless of size or amount, that you can use today to share with others? Are you choosing to take that gift and work it into something more?

Don’t cheapen the grace that has been extended to you by choosing selfishness.

Instead, let’s ask God to multiply that gift - to somehow increase it as only He can, for His glory.

We all are going to find ourselves in the position of one of the servants from the parable in Matthew 25:14-30. Will you be the one who received 5 talents and worked to earn 5 more? Or the one who received 2 talents and made 2 more? Or will you be the one who received just 1 talent, and buried it?

When this journey started for me, I had no idea what God would do. I knew only that He asked me to wait, and that He promised to make something out of the tragedy and trauma.

Not every day is easy, and choosing faith is proving to be a huge fight some days.

But every day that I can choose faith, I can find that God is faithful. In fact, I can even see God’s faithfulness on the days that I struggle to choose faith.

I can promise you that whatever you are facing, God is at work on your behalf. But today, you have the opportunity to do something with the free grace that He’s given to you.

Don’t cheapen that grace.

Put it to good work, friend.

Lord, thank you for the grace that You give us every day. Thank you for people who invest in us in ways that we’ve never imagined. Help us to use the strengths You’ve given us to impact our world. Give us eyes and a heart to choose faith today!

Sharing at Grace & Truth

3 Ways to Prepare My Heart to Submit

If you’ve been in Christian circles long enough, you know there’s a word that is certain to stir up mixed feelings, wild emotions, opposing points of views, and general frustration. There are some who try to live by the intent of the word, and there are others who immediately put up a wall when you mention the word. I want to look at that word, but maybe from a different level. But give me a fair chance, please - don’t just close the post when you read the word, okay?

Submission.

Even though I know how divisive this word is, I want to share about it from my own perspective. You’re welcome to agree, disagree, comment with your feelings, but I’d like you to hear what I have to say.

I approach this word with a good deal of hesitation. If you were to look at my life, if you knew my full story, you would have every right to say, “Why do you even want to consider submitting to your husband?”

So here’s the honest truth: On any given day, I don’t necessarily want to consider submitting to my husband.

Given all that has happened in my marriage, I’d like to just continue going through our mess, simply trying to get to the other side. But God keeps placing this word - one that divides even within the church - onto my heart.

For me, the concept of submission - even when I really don’t want to - means that I’m choosing to honor God first and foremost, by following His instruction to follow my husband.

So how do I get my heart to want to submit, especially when my husband has not always been the best leader and has let me down in some pretty big ways?

Join me at Jen’s blog as I share 3 of the ways I prepare my heart to submit - and why it isn’t really such a bad word.

"Submission" is a divisive word, yet something we're called to do. Here are 3 ways I prepare my heart to submit.

I’d love to hear your thoughts on this topic. Please feel free to leave your comments here or at Jen’s blog.

Blessings!

8 Scriptures to Pray When Your Glass is Empty

I flop into the driver’s seat of the van for what seems like the billionth time this week, resigning myself to yet another busy day.

As I begin my mental list of complaints to the Lord, I catch the words of Toby Mac’s latest song, Move:

Move, keep walkin’ soldier keep movin’ on
Move, keep walkin’ until the mornin’ comes
Move, keep walkin’ soldier keep movin’ on
And lift your head, it ain’t over yet, ain’t over yet

Holding back hot tears, I think yes, this is what I feel like - a soldier - a weary, weary soldier.

It’s the refrain of my life lately and likely the refrain of your life, too, since the Word claims that our battle is real! We fight against more than flesh and blood; we fight against the very forces of evil. We fight against our own sin nature, too!

That fight can drain a person.

That fight often leaves a person with a glass that is empty, but a plate still full of responsibilities.

Most days, I’m thankful for the power of Christ in me to “keep walkin’.” But some days I desperately want rest. In fact, every few days I throw one of those adult mind-fits - you know, the kind of temper tantrum you can’t see on the outside, but boy, is it brewing on the inside!

On those tough days, I find myself constantly crying out to the Lord for rescue, and as frustrated as I am with my failures, it’s a good reminder of my work-in-progress status and my need for a Savior. :)

If you find yourself in a season of life that requires much of you, friend, cling to these scriptures below. Pray them at every opportunity so that you can keep walkin’!

8 Scriptures to Pray When Your Glass Is Empty

He gives strength to the weary,
And to him who lacks might He increases power.
Though youths grow weary and tired,
And vigorous young men stumble badly,
Yet those who wait for the Lord
Will gain new strength;
They will mount up with wings like eagles,
They will run and not get tired,
They will walk and not become weary. Isaiah 40:28-31 NASB

Father God, I feel so weary lately, as if I have nothing left to give. But I know that the enemy’s favorite phrase for me is “you can’t.” Help me to combat that lie with the truth that I already have all of the strength I need in You.

You are the Everlasting God who never grows tired or weary. You give strength to all who need it! Help me to wait on you alone, Lord, so that I can mount up with wings like eagles.

Now He was telling them a parable to show that at all times they ought to pray and not to lose heart… Luke 18:1 NASB

Father, help me to remember that prayer is a powerful weapon. Don’t let me take prayer and time with You for granted.

I know that when I fail to abide in You, I’m setting myself up for failure because I cannot bear fruit on my own. Remind me that I must remain in constant prayer if I don’t want to lose heart!

[W]e are afflicted in every way, but not crushed;perplexed, but not despairing; persecuted, but not forsaken; struck down, but not destroyed;… 2 Corinthians 4:8-9 NASB

Father, when catastrophe comes my way, when disappointment strikes, and when I’m tempted to despair, help me to remember the truth of this promise!

I may feel afflicted, perplexed, or persecuted, but I believe You will not allow me to be crushed or destroyed. You alone have the victory over sin, Satan, and this world – that battle is already won! Help me to realize such feelings are only temporary and do not have the power to destroy me.

 

Therefore we do not lose heart, but though our outer man is decaying, yet our inner man is being renewed day by day. 2 Corinthians 4:16 NASB

Father, You have promised to complete the work that you began in us at salvation (Phil. 1:6). When I get frustrated with my body or with my own sin nature, remind me of the truth of my work-in-progress identity.

Even when I don’t see the progress, Lord, I know that You are renewing me day by day as I place my trust in You.

Let us not lose heart in doing good, for in due time we will reap if we do not grow weary. Galatians 6:9 NASB

Father, if I’m honest, I grow weary of doing good, of serving others, of choosing right. Often I just want my own way. Often I desire a break from the burdens of life. Forgive me for my sin and selfishness, Lord. Your Word promises that if I do not give up, I will reap a harvest. Help me to persevere in the tough times. Help me to keep in mind the eternal reward rather than temporary comforts.

For consider Him who has endured such hostility by sinners against Himself, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart. Hebrews 12:3 NASB

Father, when the life seems to conspire against me, let me look to your Son. Nothing I suffer here on this earth will ever compare to the suffering your Son endured because of my sin, yet He willingly paid the price.

Let me rejoice in the gift of salvation and my new-creation status!

“Come to Me, all who are weary and heavy-laden, and I will give you rest. Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For My yoke is easy and My burden is light.” Mt. 11:28-30 NASB

Father God, we hear this scripture so often that it’s easy to gloss over the truth. Our unbelief causes us to doubt that a yoke could be easy or a burden could be light.

But the Word claims a supernatural power for those who come to You weary and heavy-laden. Let us lay down all striving and conniving and take up Your truth instead. Thank you for Your unfailing love!

In the same way the Spirit also helps our weakness; for we do not know how to pray as we should, but the Spirit Himself intercedes for us with groanings too deep for words; and He who searches the hearts knows what the mind of the Spirit is, because He intercedes for the saints according to the will of God. Rom. 8:26-27 NASB

Heavenly Father, I thank You that I don’t have to speak the “right” words for you to hear my prayers. When tears constrict my throat so that I can no longer speak, Your Spirit intercedes on my behalf.

You alone know what is best for me, Lord, and I trust that even if I ask for things that will not bring good to me, You will keep them from my path.


Friend, I pray these verses bring some comfort to your weary soul today. I’ll be honest - I find a few of them quite challenging myself.

If you have a full plate this week, fill your glass from the only Source that never runs dry.

Move, soldier.

Jen :)