Archives for October 2016

This week, I’m honored to share a post form Angela. She reached out to me after reading one of my posts and said she had something similar. I’m so excited to introduce you to her, and I pray that her story is a blessing to you.

At the end of the post, she has a beautiful free gift for you, so be sure to hop over and visit her!

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When I first met my husband I was immediately taken by how fun and wild he was. Such a kind and loving spirit, he quickly became my best friend and I knew he was the one I wanted to marry. I knew early on that he was using drugs, but to me it wasn’t anything major. His job was physically demanding and he suffered from chronic pain. So the pills were no big deal. Neither of us were living particularly spiritual lives, and our first two years together could serve as evidence of that.

For the most part it was an off limits subject. He didn’t appear to be using an excessive amount, and I didn’t want to nag. So for the next three years we carried on as normal. I suspect that things were pretty average for a young married couple. Mingled in with happy times were moments of conflict which tended to happen during financial hardship. There never seemed to be enough money to go around for all our bills and we were quickly falling behind. As many couples could relate to, we got snippy with each other.

God sheds a light.

God knows all and sees all, and when it’s time to shed a light on something his timing is perfect.

Woe to those who go to great depths to hide their plans from the Lord; who do their work in darkness and think, “Who sees us? Who will know? –Isaiah 29:15.

The day my husband finally revealed me how bad the addiction had gotten our heat had been disconnected. I hadn’t been able to pay the bill, and early January in Michigan was a cold time with no heat and two small kids in the house. When my husband realized that our bills were not getting paid because of his addiction, he confessed to me that things had gotten out of control.

Something happened to my husband that day – a healing in his body that could only have been a miracle. He was able to quit and have no withdrawals. On many occasions he told me that what kept him going was the word of God. Daily reading and prayer had kept the withdrawals and temptation at bay. But after time, the urge begins to come back. Every day got harder. Friends, this is where the real work as partners begins.

Take your stance as his wife.

Wives, the Lord made us as helpers to our husbands. My human flesh wanted to make him sorry for the secrets he’d been keeping. But the Lord says to forgive your spouse.

Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.
–Ephesians 4:32.

There were certainly things I had asked the Lord, and my husband, to forgive me for. So I forgave him, and I began to pray.

One thing my husband told me was most encouraging was the prayer area I set up in our bedroom. It’s a small wooden desk I’ve had since high school, some candles and post it notes. I began writing out prayers for my husband and posting them to the wall. My prayers were some like “Lord, show Andrew how much you love him” and “Lord, please give Andrew strength.” Reading those prayers helped remind him that even though he had made mistakes, he was made new in the Lord and washed clean.

This part helped with the guilt. When a husband realizes that he was doing something that was hurting his family, he is plagued with guilt that can quickly slide into depression. Our prayers are our best aid in helping them through the droughts of faith.

Without a doubt there is one big secret to standing by your husband through an addiction. You will need to continuously forgive your husband. This is not typically a onetime fixes all type of situation. He is guaranteed to have hard days while he is recovering, even years later. And he might slip up once or twice. Forgive him, pray for him, and surrender your marriage to the Lord.

Two years later.

There are still days my husband struggles, but they are becoming less regular. I am proud of the strength he’s shown and I know from where that power flows. He has a fierce love for the Lord, and to be honest, I’m grateful that we have shared this experience. Without challenge there is no room for growth, and no glory for the Lord.

Click this link to fill out the short form for the Facebook group.

My name is Angela Tyler. I’m a wife and mother of two beautiful kids. Reading scripture and other literature has been a core part of understanding the profound love of our Father, and helped me to live a happier and more fulfilled life. My heart’s desire is to contribute to some of the amazing literature available to wives and mothers everywhere.

I’d like to thank you for reading; it’s a true blessing to be a part of your growth with the Lord.

For an exclusive freebie printable for vising my page, please click this link:
Free Printable Prayer Cards

Visit Angela’s blog or find her on Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest.

Sharing at
Grace & Truth

When my life first turned upside down, my prayer was that God would somehow take my story - a troubled marriage - and use it to minister to others. I’m amazed at the many ways God is honoring that prayer. Alisa approached me about sharing a post in her Overcome series, and I said yes because the Scripture she based the series on has had such a special place in my life.

And they overcame him by the blood of the Lamb
and by the word of their testimony….
Revelation 12:11

The stories we live through, the things that God does in our lives - they can be used by God to encourage others. I know that personally, I’d rather avoid the struggles and trials, but if God an use what I’m going through to help someone else, I feel like I can be a little stronger.

Throughout the stresses, upheavals and trials in my marriage for the past 3 years, my prayer has been that God would (somehow!) use my story to encourage others. That’s what motivates me to write - the fact that there may be another wife out there who needs to know that she can stay, she can fight, for her marriage.

But, how do you overcome in a marriage riddled with deceit and addiction,
leading to pain and intense shame?

How do you fight the battle that you never wanted?

I hope you’ll join me at Alisa’s blog for 3 ways to overcome in a troubled marriage.

If you’re fighting a battle for your marriage, I would love to hear from you so that I can be praying with you and for you.

Click this link to fill out the short form for the Facebook group.

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Grace & Truth

I just told a friend that I wasn’t sure what God was doing - blogging here isn’t reaching people like it used to. I haven’t posted as much, but that was because of my crazy work schedule. I told this friend that maybe my niche was actually too small. After all, statistically, half of marriages end in divorce, and most people certainly don’t stay in a marriage that has significant issues, let alone biblical reasons to divorce.

That was less than 48 hours ago.

Today I received 3 emails from women at various stages of working through issues, on their way to redemption.

Today I heard fresh hurt, broken hearts, questions - wondering why? and why would God let this happen?

Click this link to fill out the short form for the Facebook group.

I have first hand experience in all of this. I started this blog to encourage others who are searching for redemption in their marriage. So, selfishly, I couldn’t figure out why it’s been so quiet here. Today I realized that it’s quiet here when God is working in other ways - and ultimately, that’s the main purpose here: His glory, His will.

But when I start hearing from people, I know they’re here for a reason. They’re here because of those questions, those hurts. And I fully understand.

It’s one thing to have pain - to lose a loved one, to say good-bye to a dear friend moving away, to feel the hurt from the wound of a friend.

But how do you survive the betrayal of a spouse?

There is no “right way”; there is no prescribed method (though that would make it so much easier).

If you choose to stay with your spouse, then God is going to work in your marriage in the way that He needs to - for the good of both of you.

4 PROMISES FOR A BROKEN HEART:

He who dwells in the secret place of the Most High
Shall abide under the shadow of the Almighty.
-Psalm 91:1

Friend, if you are hurting today - whether from a fresh wound or just a fresh wave of grief, take some time to abide in Jesus’ presence.

Never will I leave you;
never will I forsake you.
-Hebrews 13:5b

I know how it feels to watch the world walk out - most of your support system just…gone! They can’t believe what’s happened, but they also can’t believe you’re staying.

…But there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother.
-Proverbs 18:24

You’ll need that friend - the closer-than-a-brother, understands-your-heart kind of friend.

For you created my inmost being;
you knit me together in my mother’s womb.
-Psalm 139:13

That friend from Proverbs 18:24, the one who sticks closer than a brother, He knows your heart. He created your heart and gave you the emotions you feel. He knows the inner-workings of what makes you who you are. And He’s never going to leave you or forsake you.

If you find yourself in need of these promises today, if your heart is broken, hold tight to these promises.

Over the next few days, I’ll be posting more support and encouragement for those of us who know and understand a broken heart.

If you’re looking for some tangible encouragement, these are a few products that have been a tremendous blessing to me. (Click the image for more information.)

This calendar (or any similar calendar) is beneficial because it gives a promise a day. Books can be a little overwhelming to read when your heart is heavy, but this offers a verse to encourage your heart.

While I don’t have this exact mug, I have several favorite mugs. Whether it’s my morning coffee, or a cup of tea through the day, the sayings or images on the mugs remind me to slow down and rest in Jesus.

Throw blankets have become one of my very favorite possessions. On a cool evening, it’s nice to be snuggled under another layer of warmth and security.

I hope you’re able to find some peace among these promises of God. The tangible “extras” are just that - extra. Sometimes it helps, even as adults, to have our security objects in the face of a troubled situation.

Please know that I’m praying for you - for us - for redemption.

I’ll be writing some new posts so be watching for those. If you’ve signed up to get the posts delivered to your Inbox, you’ll have them as soon as the post goes live. (You can use the bar at the top of the page or the pop-up box that comes up to sign up for the emails.)

In the meantime, check these posts for more encouragement for a struggling marriage.

Sharing at Grace & Truth