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3 Ways to Wait While God Restores My Marriage

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Hope for the Hurting Wife

How long do I have to wait for God to restore my marriage? 

This is a question I’ve heard quite a bit, recently. I’ve read it in blog comments, emails, and from people in my personal life.

The truth is, waiting on your marriage to be restored is hard work. It involves trust in God and His timing, laying aside our own wants and desires, and holding onto hope despite the world screaming loudly to just let go.

Getting up each day to face a situation that we don’t like is so difficult, but the unknown of how it will turn out – and when we might see restoration – adds to that difficulty.

So how do you press on, day by day, as you wait for God to restore and redeem your marriage?

I’m sharing some tips from my own life today, in no particular order.

3 Ways to Wait While God Restores My Marriage

I'm taking steps of faith while God restores my marriage. Here are 3 ways to wait on God as we trust Him for restoration of our marriages. #marriage #redemption


1. Shake It Up 

I love routines. I am a creature of habit, and I don’t like change, especially when that change is out of my control.

Waiting on a spouse to decide they do want to stay in the marriage is certainly out of our control.

During the hardest times in my marriage, it was easy for me to fall back on those routines. After a while, though, I noticed something else starting to happen.

While going through my daily routines, the doubts, the negative thoughts and the heartache crept in easily, often without me noticing it. I’d go through several days wondering why I was feeling so down. That’s when I noticed the negative feelings creeping in to my heart with my daily routines.

So – I had to shake it up!

I started to change my routines so that my thoughts wouldn’t be so automatic as they were with my regular routines. As doubts crept in, I worked hard to notice them and then I prayed. I simply prayed the name of Jesus over and over. His name was the only prayer strong enough to combat my worries and fears.

2. Jesus – Early and Often 

My morning routine was to wake up, wash my face and drink my coffee. Usually, I eased into my day, did schoolwork with the kids, went to work, completed housework and went to sleep. Early on, I realized that this would not work; I would not survive the impact of our marital issues without Jesus, so I had to start at the beginning of the day.

To be honest, in-depth Bible study was difficult, simply because it was hard to focus on large chunks of reading. I decided to work on smaller chunks of the Bible and wrote out some verses to memorize.

My day needed to start with Jesus, so I placed these verses in strategic locations where I would be reminded of God’s grace even before my day started. I made it a point to sit on the side of my bed each morning, look out at the back yard and thank God for a new day. I turned the chore of washing dishes into an opportunity to pray. Folding laundry became an opportunity to thank God for each family member. Even social media turned into a way to gather favorite verses all in one place.

As I intentionally took Jesus through every part of my day, it became easier to focus on Him instead of being completely devoured by my problems.

3. Move Ahead

“Moving ahead” does not seem like a way to wait while God restores my marriage, but the reality is that it’s another step of faith and trust in Him.

When our situation got to the point where it was completely out of my control, I realized that I had a few options:
*Divorce my husband and need to hit the ground running to provide for my family
*Stay in bed and watch my life fade away
*Begin to put one foot in front of the other and trust that God would do what He said

I came to the point where I realized that either I had to trust God, believe He would care for me, have faith that He would lead me – OR – I had to throw in the towel on my faith and close the door on God.

While divorce was an option, I wasn’t ready to take my kids from their father if there was any other way. The option to stay in bed and watch my life pass by was viable and for a while I did that.

Moving forward, though, stepping back into life, was scary. I had no guarantee that anything would get better. God asked me to wait, but I was not sure how things would ultimately turn out. I realized the only way out of my situation was to get through it, so I determined to move ahead. I told God that if my marriage was to be saved, He was going to have to do it.

Over the years He has done that, but I really believe it’s because I decided to move forward in faith with Him.

Psalm 16:8 became a verse I clung to –

I have set the LORD always before me:
because he is at my right hand, I shall not be shaken.

Friends, we have a calling on our lives, each one of us.

The marital issues we struggle with are a small part of the entirety of our lives. I know they seem all-consuming right now, but consider them in the scope of your entire life. I’ll explain it as I heard it from Christine Caine at a women’s conference that I went to:

I will turn 42 this coming Saturday. While the story of my marital issues is the main story of my life right now, it’s not my whole life. It started 3 years ago, and Lord willing, it will come to an end soon. I have 39 years before these issues were a part of my story, and I hope to have many years after this where my marital issues will no longer be a part of my story. They will take up a small portion of my entire life, so why would I camp out in that tragedy rather than living in the years of blessing that God has given?

Isn’t that an interesting perspective? It reminds me of Romans 8:18 –

I consider that our present sufferings are not worth comparing with the glory that will be revealed in us.

Waiting while God restores your marriage can be difficult. We can wait in stress, in frustration, full of anxiety, or we can wait in proactive ways that keep us stepping out in faith with the Lord.

How are you waiting while God restores your marriage? 


Support for women who are standing for their marriage, trusting God to restore and redeem.

Click this link to fill out the short form for the Facebook group.

Sharing at Grace & TruthKelly BalarieHolley GerthDance with JesusLiveFree#HeartEncouragement, Salt & Light, #MomentsofHope, #TellHisStory

32 thoughts on “3 Ways to Wait While God Restores My Marriage”

  • Thank you so much, what a way to start my day. Sometimes when you focus on your problems they look so big but when you let God deal with them and you focus on God, He becomes so much bigger than anything else.

    God bless you Becky

  • Thank you so much for sharing. I am in the waiting process also and have also chose to wait on God. It is so good to find someone who was hearing the same thing I am hearing from God and that is to wait. I also have grounds for divorce but don’t feel this is what God wants me to do. I pray that my marriage will also be restored in God’s timing like your situation.

  • Excellent post, friend! I love how you put these years of struggle into perspective. It feels soooo long in the moment, but in the scope of a lifetime, not so much! Love you!

  • I love this. Well, I hate that you’re having marital issues, that I do hate. But, I love the tips you’ve given. I especially love how you’ve found “odd” times to pray throughout the day. A great reminder that any prayer said, at any time, is a prayer heard!

  • “I decided to move forward in faith with Him.” What a power testimony! I think that your decision to move forward in God is so important and pertinent for anyone going through a difficult time. Thanks for your willingness to share your story; I am sure many will be encouraged.

  • I could have written an article like this. Today I read it from the other side of long-awaited restoration and am awed and overwhelmingly thankful. There is hope! See what God has done!

  • This is good advice, especially “Jesus early and often”. I also love how you point out that issues we face are not our whole life. It is important to keep that perspective. Visiting from Coffee For Your Heart.

  • I found this link on Suzie’s blog. I needed this. My husband left 13 months ago, and has not filed for divorce. I’ve been trying figure out what God wants me to do now. I never thought of me waiting in Faith as moving forward. I’ve felt stuck and trapped. Thank you.

  • Rebekah, I’m sure it wasn’t easy to arrive at this place, but you have a wonderful perspective and I’m thankful I was able to read some of your story today. The part about changing up your routines to avoid those negative thought patterns–whatever they are about–is really helpful to me. #HeartEncouragementThursday

  • Rebekah- this is such wise, wise insight! And the fact that you’re writing because you’ve been there is so encouraging for others. When we go through hard times in marriage, we desperately want a quick fix, don’t we? It just doesn’t work that way, not if we want it to last anyway. It took my marriage around 5 years to be restored, but the journey and the “wait” was so very worth it when I see where we are today! Thank you for linking up at Salt & Light today!

    • Yes, I hear from so many who would love a quick fix, but that’s not the way to anything permanent or lasting, you’re absolutely right! It’s so worth the time and energy we invest, to see the masterpiece that God can make!

  • I agree with all of this! As someone who went through divorce as a Christian wife, these are tips that I wish I started practicing more early on in the marriage. I love Romans 8:18. That is my life scripture in every situation. I leaned on that scripture in my first marriage and I truly believe in that verse.

  • These “tips” are a wonderful foundation to face marriage issues, but also many other issues in life. A great encouragement today. (Stopping by from Salt and LIght link up)

    • Thank you for this encouragement. Yes, these tips have helped me in considering my children, friends, extended family. That’s a great thought!

  • My marital issues will forever be a part of my story. Day in and day out. Through an affair my husband got another woman pregnant. That child will ALWAYS be there. That reminder will ALWAYS be there. How do you handle marital problems that literally will be there for the rest of your life?

  • SETTING the Lord before us is such an intentional thing. I love the action-based focus of this post — we can’t wait for good feelings to catch up with us. Heavens! We might wait forever! May God strengthen us to act upon the truth we have and to trust Him with the outcome.

  • Please pray for me, still hurting and waiting but trying to keep positive though some want me to ‘move on’. 🙁 May God get the Glory in this trial!!

  • Thank you for this tip because I’m trying to avoid these negative thoughts. I need a new routine. My GOD bless and restore all of you marriages in JESUS MIGHTY NAME AMEN

  • Thank you for this post. I never thought that it would be such a popular topic among Christian women. I pray for all the Christian wives for God to show His Majesty in their lives. It is hard to wait but i do believe that God is preparing us for so much more blessings in His Kingdom. He builds our characters and faith. It has been hard but God’s glory and His Word give relief and joy. God bless you sisters in Christ.

  • Why it’s always the women praying for restored marriage. What are men doing?.I stopped praying for restoration in my married . Let him pray if he wants me back

    • Hi Kym! Thank you so much for your comment here. I can completely understand where you’re coming from. There are a few men who have commented here – and they probably don’t comment as much as I state that my blog is “for wives”. However, I get a good number of emails, as they are more private, from men who are looking for a site like this that is geared toward men. I have exactly *one* site that I can refer them to – and thank God that there’s one! I refer them all to that site, and I send along several other websites that may be of help for them. But there probably are comments *from* women here because my blog is geared to wives.
      Please know I’m praying for you and your marriage, trusting God to work in both of you! Thanks for being here!

    • HI

      I am a husband waiting and praying for our marriage to be restored. God has been so wonderful from the start . My wife left with the kids to stay in a other town , that was the hardest part for me , since I am very attached to my 2 children , they are like air to me. My wife is a very godly person , and has since lost her way , attending parties and seeing other men (she sent me picture and messages by accident , after I asked God to reveal the secrets that has been kept from me in marriage) and becoming a very cold and lost person . God has promised me that He will restore not only my wife’s faith and heart , but mine as well , and that He will rebuild the marriage . He also said , that He will take my wife into the dessert and work on her there , and bring her back restored. I am so thankful for the growth in my faith and the unreal experience with the heavenly father . There will be a time where you will feel the need to pray day in and day out for your spouse , listen to what the Holy spirit wants you to do , after a very long spiritual warfare , God will step in and you can focus on your faith and to recover , you focus on forgiving your spouse and setting them free so God can take over and do the work. In that time , there will be silence and you will feel that you are doing something wrong or not enough , but rest assured , God is giving you this time to learn to trust in Him , look carefully how God is working in your life and that of your spouse and marriage . To everyone standing for marriage I say well done , your reward will be great for trusting the Lord , remember that every time you pray , you are talking to the creator , almighty and all powerful God . To Jesus all the glory !!!

      • Hi Gert,
        Thank you so much for taking time to leave a comment. Your story is very similar to what I hear from other men who, on occasion, leave a comment or send an email. What I pray is the same for the husbands as for the wives – that God will work in your spouse’s heart in a way that is so undeniable that they can’t deny it.
        But we have to remember that they are acting out of their free will, and just as God didn’t force us to walk down the aisle and marry them, He won’t force them to come home. He will leave that up to their free will. And in the long run, if they choose to come home, it will be their choice – borne from their wants and desires, not because God forced it on them.
        Please know I’m praying for you both! Thank you, again, for taking time to comment!

  • One year ago around this time my husband and I separated. I stayed at my daughter’s house for a short time. While at my daughter’s house I prayed and asked God will my marriage be restored? I asked for a significant signs. I was shocked by God quick response. God answered my prayer immediately. God said yes. We did not cheat.
    I did not like to live a mediocre life. My husband knows this. I was never in debt it makes be very uncomfortable. I paid my bills and my bills are paid on time. We were doing so well the first two yrs into our marriage. He stopped being responsible. He stopped and refused to help me with our rent. His portions of the bills payments was always late and partial. We did not celebrated our years 7 yrs anniversary together and now our 8 years anniversary is soon approaching. We do not keep in contact. My husband is like a baby in a candy store and he wants everything he sees and want me to pay for it. My husband loved to shower me with gifts. He would rather buy me gifts before our bills are paid. He is no longer my husband we became roommates. His gifts replaced him. Everything stopped. At first I was happy/ joyful about God restoring my marriage. Now I am uncertain. I think the only reason why i might have a little hope is because of God yes..Not sure if i want him back. I don’t want to go back to him just to please God. How can I live with my husband again and I do not trust him?
    I am living better without him.

  • It has been almost a year since I found that my husband was cheating and he moved out to live with the other woman. I thought that I was over it but lately I have found myself becoming despondent. I have prayed and asked God to help me in forgiving him and I think I have done so. However I seem to have given up I have even stopped praying for restoration. We have been communicating a whole lot better but I have not seen any signs from him towards restoration. It has been extremely difficult . I sometimes think that God does not us to be together anymore. Please pray for me that my faith will be restored and my relationship with Him will be strengthened and elevated.

  • Hello i feel i have given up to pray for my restoration i been waiting for 17years now my husband is with OW and they now have two kids i had hope but after the birth of two kidz 2016 and 2018 all hope was lost. he has since stopped communicating with us and my child and he has stopped financial support. I got to a point where i deleted all contacts of his relatives i no longer communicATE with anyone of them and i have since stopped to seriously pray for this marriage, I am hurting cause i hoped my husband will come back but i lost hope when i think of him i feel so much hurt cause there is no sign no communication nothing is that is happening that i can say this marriage will be restored. I have reached a point that i am tired of waiting and i just said the prayers i prayed GOD WILL DEAL AND ANSWER MY REQUESTS IN HIS TIME.PLEASE HELP ME TO PRAY I AM SO DEVASTED

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