This week, I’m honored to share a post form Angela. She reached out to me after reading one of my posts and said she had something similar. I’m so excited to introduce you to her, and I pray that her story is a blessing to you.
At the end of the post, she has a beautiful free gift for you, so be sure to hop over and visit her!
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Standing by My Husband through an Addiction
When I first met my husband I was immediately taken by how fun and wild he was. Such a kind and loving spirit, he quickly became my best friend and I knew he was the one I wanted to marry. I knew early on that he was using drugs, but to me it wasn’t anything major. His job was physically demanding and he suffered from chronic pain. So the pills were no big deal. Neither of us were living particularly spiritual lives, and our first two years together could serve as evidence of that.
For the most part it was an off limits subject. He didn’t appear to be using an excessive amount, and I didn’t want to nag. So for the next three years we carried on as normal. I suspect that things were pretty average for a young married couple. Mingled in with happy times were moments of conflict which tended to happen during financial hardship. There never seemed to be enough money to go around for all our bills and we were quickly falling behind. As many couples could relate to, we got snippy with each other.
God sheds a light.
God knows all and sees all, and when it’s time to shed a light on something his timing is perfect.
Woe to those who go to great depths to hide their plans from the Lord; who do their work in darkness and think, “Who sees us? Who will know? –Isaiah 29:15.
The day my husband finally revealed me how bad the addiction had gotten our heat had been disconnected. I hadn’t been able to pay the bill, and early January in Michigan was a cold time with no heat and two small kids in the house. When my husband realized that our bills were not getting paid because of his addiction, he confessed to me that things had gotten out of control.
Something happened to my husband that day – a healing in his body that could only have been a miracle. He was able to quit and have no withdrawals. On many occasions he told me that what kept him going was the word of God. Daily reading and prayer had kept the withdrawals and temptation at bay. But after time, the urge begins to come back. Every day got harder. Friends, this is where the real work as partners begins.
Take your stance as his wife.
Wives, the Lord made us as helpers to our husbands. My human flesh wanted to make him sorry for the secrets he’d been keeping. But the Lord says to forgive your spouse.
Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.
There were certainly things I had asked the Lord, and my husband, to forgive me for. So I forgave him, and I began to pray.
One thing my husband told me was most encouraging was the prayer area I set up in our bedroom. It’s a small wooden desk I’ve had since high school, some candles and post it notes. I began writing out prayers for my husband and posting them to the wall. My prayers were some like “Lord, show Andrew how much you love him” and “Lord, please give Andrew strength.” Reading those prayers helped remind him that even though he had made mistakes, he was made new in the Lord and washed clean.
This part helped with the guilt. When a husband realizes that he was doing something that was hurting his family, he is plagued with guilt that can quickly slide into depression. Our prayers are our best aid in helping them through the droughts of faith.
Without a doubt there is one big secret to standing by your husband through an addiction. You will need to continuously forgive your husband. This is not typically a onetime fixes all type of situation. He is guaranteed to have hard days while he is recovering, even years later. And he might slip up once or twice. Forgive him, pray for him, and surrender your marriage to the Lord.
Two years later.
There are still days my husband struggles, but they are becoming less regular. I am proud of the strength he’s shown and I know from where that power flows. He has a fierce love for the Lord, and to be honest, I’m grateful that we have shared this experience. Without challenge there is no room for growth, and no glory for the Lord.
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My name is Angela Tyler. I’m a wife and mother of two beautiful kids. Reading scripture and other literature has been a core part of understanding the profound love of our Father, and helped me to live a happier and more fulfilled life. My heart’s desire is to contribute to some of the amazing literature available to wives and mothers everywhere.
I’d like to thank you for reading; it’s a true blessing to be a part of your growth with the Lord.
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