Archives for December 2016

It’s the end of another year and there’s so much that could be said as we look back over the year, and then ahead to a new year. To be honest, for the past few years, I’ve just been thankful to close the calendar at the end of each year. I haven’t done much looking back - some, but not much. What I have done is simply hoped for something better for the year ahead.

Last night I was on Facebook for a few minutes and saw a video that someone had posted. It was one of those videos where Facebook pulls your “most-liked” images and compiles them. It was late, and I decided to let Facebook “compile” mine while the muffins I made finished baking.

I don’t know what I was expecting - maybe a reflection of how I feel the past few years have been: messy, ugly, fearful.

Now we all know that people really only share their “highlights reels” on social media, right?

For those of us who have endured a trauma, it turns out that a “highlights reel” might be a blessing in disguise!

As I sat and watched my video of 2016, do you know what I found?

ALL THE GOOD STUFF!

All of it - from the benefit concert that my son hosted, to the reminder of things that are “staples” in our lives (piano lessons), to my daughter turning 10, to my 17th wedding anniversary.

Do you know what was missing from my video?

All of the struggles I remembered from this year.

That doesn’t mean they didn’t happen, but it also reminded me that I can choose to release them.

I thought back to other years - the past couple years, in fact, that have seemed the most painful. While I could remember the details of the darkest moments, I also realized that I had let go of them somewhere along the way. (What a beautiful realization!)

I’ve recently started using a truth journaling process - it really helps me to focus on the truth in a tough situation and it helps me get “unstuck” from my perception of what’s going on. This technique has come in handy when I get in a situation where I feel my own fear or anxiety rising up. I’ve been thinking back over the past couple of years and viewing my perceptions and fears, and then “writing” over them with truth. For example, I can now look back at situations where I felt fear. I’m able to see why the situation happened, and tell myself the truth (not the fear) about what was happening. This has been so important in my ability to heal. You can read more about the truth journaling here.

This morning on Instagram, I read the following quote:

When you face a struggle in your marriage, remind yourself that the struggle will become a story someday. It will either be a story about why you divorced or a story about how you worked together to build a stronger marriage. You get to decide which story comes true. - DaveWillis.org

We get to decide which story comes true. We get the opportunity to stand and fight for our marriage. I realize that it takes both spouses to make the marriage work, but let’s be sure we’re doing our part.

Friends, the key here is that we choose what we take into the new year with us.

What do you want the year ahead to look like? What do you want to remember from this year?

What do you want?

Do you remember the story of “Blind Bartimaeus”? (Mark 10:46-52)

Bartimaeus was a beggar who sat by the side of the road. When he heard that Jesus was passing by, he shouted out to Him, begging for mercy. Many people told him to be quiet, but he called out all the more, “Son of David, have mercy on me!”

Jesus stopped and called for Bartimaeus. Now Bartimaeus was blind…couldn’t see…needed his sight.

But what does Jesus do? He could have healed him on the spot. He could have healed him before Bartimaeus even got to Him. He could have healed Bartimaeus from afar. He doesn’t do any of those things right away, though.

Jesus asks, “What do you want me to do for you?”

It’s obvious, right? Bartimaeus is B L I N D.

But Jesus puts the ball back in Bartimaeus’ court. He asks him, “What do you want me to do for you?”

“The blind man said, ‘Rabbi, I want to see.'”

I want to see!

I think I’ve known my word for 2017 for some time now, but I haven’t been able to work out how to get from where I was to where I knew I needed to be.

A couple weeks ago, a new word dropped into my heart, but it made no sense with what I thought my word would be for the new year. I’ve spent time really praying through both words, not sure if I should be combining them, thinking about both, or if I really just needed more sleep!

You know that, as a general rule, when you go through a trauma there are often triggers that can bring up some of those emotions again. I still struggle with some of those - not as badly, they’re going away, but there are still a few triggers that bring up the fear and anxiety. And if I named them, they would seem silly - a knock at the door, a car parked across the street. But these are parts of my story that bring up a moment of panic.

Last night, I asked my husband when he thought I’d be free from those triggers. I have prayed about them, I have found ways to sort of move forward, but really want to be done with them.

His answer surprised me. He said, “I wonder if it’s kind of up to you. Like you decide today is the day you will move forward.”

Maybe when I’m ready to release the fear, I’ll move forward.

The word that has dropped into my heart the past couple weeks is the word RELEASE.

My husband didn’t know that - I hadn’t told him.

But his answer to me had to do with my own releasing of my feelings.

Why do I have to release those feelings?

Because I want to see!

I want to see JOY in my life again - true, deep joy!

My word for the new year is JOY!

Over the past few years, as the Lord has given new words each year, I’ve learned about the word - the meaning, the use, verses to go with each one. But I’ve also learned the word by experiencing the opposite of each word.

HOPE - this was the word for 2014, after the most hopeless situation in 2013.
REDEMPTION - from 2015, after truly understanding that our actions carry consequences.
OVERCOME - the word for 2016, after thinking I had been buried, only to find I’d been planted.
JOY - for 2017, knowing that God has carried me through what I hope is the very worst, what could have killed me, yet He’s cared for me each step of the way and is breathing life back into me again.

As I look at the words the Lord has given me, I can see a definite pattern in the words, and how they’ve been leading to my healing. Beyond that, though, these words have applied in many areas in my life - not just in my marriage. It’s been a blessing to see how God is using these words.

What is it that you need from the Lord? What is it that you want to carry into the new year?

If the Lord was standing before you, and He asked, “What do you want me to do for you,” what would your answer be? Be honest - no matter how obvious the answer seems. After all, Bartimaeus was blind.

What do you want?

I’d love if you’d share your answers in the comments or in an email.

Click this link to fill out the short form for the Facebook group.

They were fighting to survive to fight another day.

It’s the same with us - we’re already overcomers. We know how the story will end. We know Who has already won.

I’m reminded of the story of Gideon where God decreased the size of the army from 32,000 to 300. It didn’t seem they could win with just 300 people - at least, not in the traditional manner of military battle. Even the 32,000 men were considered a small force against the Midianite army.

But what did God do? He sent Gideon down to camp to overhear a conversation that would strengthen and encourage him. Then God had Gideon’s army attack the Midianites using a rather unique tactic, and at a time when the Midianites were vulnerable - at night. Go read Judges 7!

Surely an army of 300 men wouldn’t beat an army of more than 32,000. I wonder how many really just hoped to survive. Look how God helped them to not just survive, but to overcome!

We just need to survive.

And as we survive, we learn more of the enemy’s tactics. We see how he comes after us, what areas he thinks are weak in our lives.

But we can also learn his weaknesses.

In my life, I’m beginning to recognize when the spiritual attacks are coming. They often begin when I’m tired, or when I’m not really paying attention to what I’m thinking - sort of just floating through my day.

So those are areas where I have to make changes. I have to be intentional in “closing those open doors” in my life.

I’ve learned these specifics simply by survival. As I survive, I have time to think about how and why the enemy continues to attack. I’ve paid attention to his tactics. And I’ve used that the next day when I get up to fight him again.

Friends, we don’t need to win. That’s not our job.

The battle belongs to the Lord, the victory is already His!

We just need to survive!

Take just a moment for some self-reflection.
Can you see tactics the enemy is using in battle against you?
In what area(s) can you make some changes and stand up against him?
Here is a resource I’m using to work on making some of those changes.

If you’re up to sharing the areas where you are trying to change, I’d love to hear from you. You can leave a comment below, or send an email anytime.

Click this link to fill out the short form for the Facebook group.

Sharing at
Grace & Truth, Fresh Market Friday

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As we near the end of this year, I wanted to share something that I hope will be a blessing to you. I know many of you feel stuck in your current situations - I have seen your emails, read your comments on blog posts, and have prayed over your requests. I truly know how you are feeling.

I know how hard it can be to cook a meal for your family, to put a load of laundry in to wash, to expend the energy to clean up a bathroom. And the expectations are so great at this time of the year with the holidays, school activities, and general family issues to keep up with.

That’s why I want to share Grace Goals with you. I really don’t want it to be one more thing you add to your to-do list, though, because I know how difficult that can be. In fact, when I first tried Grace Goals, I was still in a constant daily struggle of just getting through a day.

But…

If you are at a spot where you’re ready to try small steps to set new goals, to take care of your own heart, then you might be ready for Grace Goals.

I can tell you about Grace Goals, and I’ll certainly do a little of that, but for you who are here in a situation similar to mine, I want you to know more. I want you to know the heart behind Grace Goals.

Arabah Joy, who created Grace Goals, is a blogger who I’ve been reading for a number of years. At one point after the heartache in my life, I got brave for just a moment and shared my whole story with her. She didn’t push me away. She didn’t make me feel like my story was too ugly. In fact, from time to time, I’ll get an email from her saying, “Have you considered trying ____?” And whatever is in the blank seems like such a breath of fresh air, a reassurance, sometimes even a confirmation of what I feel God is putting on my heart.

Fast forward to this month…. I had the privilege of traveling to Florida over the weekend to meet Arabah Joy. We spent some time discussing the work and ministry of blogging, but more than that, we just talked. We shared about our lives, our families, and how God is bringing healing in my life, among so many other things.

What I want you to know is that you can feel safe and secure with Arabah Joy, and particularly with Grace Goals. That’s the key for us, isn’t it? Safety, security. Our world can be tumultuous, but you’ll find refuge with her.

So, if you’re ready to try to set a few goals for your own life, for your own heart, Grace Goals is an excellent place to start. If you’re looking for a way to move forward, even to jumpstart your own heart, you’ll find what you need with this great resource.

In my own life, I’m in a different place this year than I was last year, so I’m going to be working through Grace Goals as well. I would welcome emails and interaction with you as we work through this together.

Here are some of the ways that Grace Goals will benefit us:

>> Set practical, godly goals
>> Be confident of God’s favor and power in your endeavors
>> Develop a doable, personal plan for change
>> Learn why grace is the enablement you need
>> Begin to recognize and appropriate grace in your daily life
>> Receive encouragement in the Facebook group (optional!)

And…You’re invited to be part of Grace Goals! For a limited time, if you grab Grace Goals here, you’ll automatically be invited to a LIVE workshop with Arabah Joy and other Grace Goals participants on Wednesday, December 28, where there will be a short devotional, we’ll share our goals, pray together, and have a time of Q&A.

What do you think? Are you interested in trying this with me? Maybe you’re curious as to some of the things I’m going to be working on….

Well, after really taking the time to get through a lot of what has come my way, I’m ready to be intentional in Bible study and home organization in the new year. These goals are not going to *just happen* in my life because if they were, I’d not have a need for Grace Goals…or grace…or goals.

Perhaps you just need a plan to survive the day, to remember God loves you. Your goals don’t have to be lofty, they don’t have to be world-changing, they just need to be a decision between you and the Lord about what seems the most beneficial right now. For me, my goals signify putting my life back together. For you, they may simply be for the sake of survival - I’ve been there. The great news is, you’re already succeeding at that one! You realize that, right? You are succeeding at survival!

I heard this song on Sunday as Arabah Joy and I watched a church service. The words never cease to stir my heart. I pray you’ll take a few minutes to listen to this song and to let it resonate as we look ahead to a new year.

So let’s work through Grace Goals together, and with the Lord, and see what He will do in our hearts as we make a plan to move forward!

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