Archives for August 2017

By all accounts, we had a strong marriage. We served in the church and had a deep commitment to our faith. Our children pursued academic and extra-curricular activities with our full support. So many things were going well for our family.

We were in our 14th year of marriage on the day that everything fell apart. Suddenly, many things about my marriage were called into question. I felt utterly terrified by what played out before my eyes. Surely it must be a mistake, though they assured me it was not.

Over the next few months, my marriage went from bad to worse. The troubles that knocked at our door that morning seemed to only get worse as time went on. Not only did my marriage fall apart, but we lost friends, our church, and much more.

Why did God allow this to happen to me? I was doing everything right.

While this is a part of my story, it is not all of my story. Four years later I can look back to see how God has been at work in my marriage.

In the midst of the hurt, though, how do you hold on to hope? How do you rummage through the chaos and confusion to see hope? When someone has tossed a blanket of darkness over your life, how do you find hope?

Dear friend, that is exactly where faith comes in.

Our relationship with the Lord is not just for Sundays. It’s for the good days, the sunny days. It’s also for the dark days, the tough days, and for that awful Wednesday when the devil came knocking for my marriage.

In John 8:12, Jesus reminds us that He is the light of the world. So even when the darkness is very real, we can have hope because of our relationship with Jesus. He is our hope!

Today I’m sharing how to hold on to hope in a struggling marriage at Young Wives Club. I’m grateful to Hannah and Rosie at The Young Wives Club for inviting me to share on their site this week! Come join me at their blog to read this post.

How to Hold On To Hope in a Struggling Marriage

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Do you need support in a struggling marriage?

Click here to fill out the short form for the Facebook group.

Sharing with Richella at Imparting Grace, with Susan B. Mead at #DanceWithJesus, with Char at Trekking Thru, with Holley Gerth at #CoffeeForYourHeart, with Crystal Storms at #HeartEncouragement, with Suzie Eller at #livefreeThursday, with Kelly Balarie at #RaRaLinkup, with Alisa Nicaud at Salt & Light

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So many things have changed since that day. Some days I feel like my life is never really going to look the same, ever again. And if that’s where I focus, my story seems quite hopeless. So I choose to intentionally lift my eyes and remember that my help comes from the Lord who made heaven and earth. (Psalm 121)

That October morning dawned full of sunshine and full of hope. I looked out the window at the crisp, clear morning. It was less than ten minutes later, though, when the knock on the door changed everything.

My marriage of 14 years crumbled in front of my eyes. The unexpected truth came out and my life fell apart in that moment.

I had to find a way to keep going, even though my marriage hit rock bottom. I had to find a way to sort through the mess and see the truth.

The truths that I’m sharing today were the truths that I fell back on when this mess started.

The opening lines of Isaiah 43 offered such hope for me.

“Do not fear, for I have redeemed you;
I have summoned you by name; you are mine.
When you pass through the waters,
I will be with you;
and when you pass through the rivers,
they will not sweep over you.
When you walk through the fire,
you will not be burned;
the flames will not set you ablaze.
For I am the Lord your God,
the Holy One of Israel, your Savior….
Isaiah 43:1b-3a

The waters were deep, the river was wide, the fire was intense, just as they are for anyone who deals with a traumatic incident.

But God.

His promises in Isaiah brought comfort. He knew the path we had to travel and He did not let go of us.

Today I’m sharing 3 Truths For When Marriage Is Hard.

Join me over at Lori’s blog for the rest of this post. I love her heart for ministry to women. She has a powerful testimony and a strong desire to see women come to understand their identity in Christ. You will be very encouraged as you take a look around her site!

3 Truths for When Marriage is Hard

What truths do you cling to in your life, in your marriage? Please feel free to share them in the comments here or over at Lori’s blog.

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Are you looking for support in a struggling marriage?

Click here to fill out the short form for the Facebook group.

Sharing with Suzie Eller at #livefreeThursday, with Laura at Faith Filled Friday, with Lyli Dunbar at #FaithonFire, Kelly Balarie at #RaRaLinkup, with Patricia Holbrook at Recharge Wednesday, with Alisa Nicaud at Salt & Light, with Holley Gerth at #CoffeeForYourHeart, with Jaime Wiebel at #SittingAmongFriends, with Crystal Storms at #HeartEncouragement

He walked away in frustration, choosing silence rather than speaking from anger. I knew I hurt him with my words, but they just came pouring out of my mouth. I was hurting, and I wanted to be sure he knew that.

Unfortunately, lashing out at him did not help me feel better. As I watched his shoulders slump, I longed to take back my words. How could I have been so mean?

The root of the problem was not the words that I said. It started before that with some wayward thoughts. I allowed them to run rampant and they built up and overflowed in the form of some very hurtful words.

II Corinthians 10:5 reminds us that we have control over our thoughts. We have the power to stop those thoughts that should not take root in our hearts.

We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ.

I should have paused; I should not have let my feelings boil over. I should have exercised some self-control before I decided to speak. Unfortunately, I didn’t do that and the results of my words were pretty damaging.

God used this exchange to speak to my heart about taking my thoughts captive.

3 Reasons to Take Your Thoughts Captive in Your Marriage

There are many reasons to take your thoughts captive.

I’m sharing 3 of those reasons over at Fulfilling Your Vows. Come on over and read the post. Then take a look around the site; it’s an excellent resource for your marriage!

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Just a reminder that Hope for the Hurting Wife is coming soon! Jen and I look forward to sharing this book with you! Be sure you’re subscribed to the email list (sign up at the very bottom of this post) to be notified as soon as the book is ready!

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Do you need support in a struggling marriage?

Click here to fill out the short form for the Facebook group.

Sharing with Holley Gerth at #CoffeeForYourHeart, with Jennifer Dukes Lee at #TellHisStory, Jaime Wiebel at #SittingAmongFriends, with Crystal Storms at #HeartEncouragement, with Alisa Nicaud at Salt & Light, with Arabah Joy at Grace & Truth, with Kate at Teaching What Is Good, with Richella Parham at Imparting Grace, with Patricia Holbrook at Recharge Wednesday, with Suzie Eller at #livefreeThursday