My Oxygen Mask

A little over a year ago, I began purposely taking time for myself - wearing my “oxygen mask” so that I could be a better wife and mother to my family. I never would have guessed how tenaciously I would cling to this change.

It started with giving myself permission to finish my coffee…while it was still hot. That one, simple gesture worked so well and gave me the courage to try to make a few other changes in my life. It was the first step in moving past the shock of an actual diagnosis for our son and reclaiming my own spot in my own life.

A key element in catching my breath, putting on my oxygen mask, and appreciating my own value in life was to schedule free time for myself. As I made our family’s schedule each month, I was careful to keep some time open. Maybe it was once a week, maybe it was one weekend a month, maybe it was more sporadic, but that free time was soothing to my heart. In the beginning, I didn’t always know what to do with my time, so I would just sit and watch 30 minutes of TV. That was probably the best thing I could have done. It was mindless, yet the intentional choice of sitting down to rest helped me clear my head and regain some of myself.

Another change that falls into my “oxygen mask” category is that I learned to knit. I’m still just knitting scarves, but it’s amazing how therapeutic it is. My hands keep busy, my mind focuses on the knitting, and not on the many issues at hand. I now get together once a week to knit with some friends. Knitting, laughter, friends - the perfect combination!

When I stopped running - running to the next thing I was convinced I had to do, or running from my fear of failure - and was able to just be still, a wonderful thing happened. God showed up. No, that’s not true. He was always there. Rather, I started hearing Him more. My body was still, my head was still, and my heart was still. And in the stillness, I could hear God.

I could hear His wonderful reminders that I am fearfully and wonderfully made. I could hear that He knew and understood my fears, my frustrations, my shortcomings, my longing for something more. The wonderful thing about hearing God is that we hear someone who truly loves us - someone who wants to help us take care of ourselves so that we can care for those who need us. After all, He took time to go away to be by Himself while He was here on Earth. When we make time to stop and to be still, we can know that He is God (Psalm 46:10).

There are other changes that have happened and still others that I’m beginning to work on. This business of creating time for yourself in a world that so desperately wants to take our time is quite refreshing. Many times at church, we’ve used a phrase that has really gotten into my heart. We don’t want to be a church that does everything, yet does it half-heartedly because we feel so stretched. Rather, we want to be a church that does a few things and does them well. It’s the same in my life - I don’t want to do everything in life. For awhile, I thought I did, but I don’t. I want to do a few things and do them well. With excellence.

Resting - intentionally choosing to take time for myself - has helped me find more of what I want to do, and less of what I feel I need to do. The oxygen mask analogy - because as a parent, we have to take care of ourselves in order to help those who depend on us.

What intentional changes can you make in your own life, no matter how small, that will help you be refreshed and renewed as you care for others? How can you put on your oxygen mask to care for yourself before you care for others? Because you are worth it. You know that, don’t you? You - YOU - are worth it!

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