I hear you’ve been having those same feelings again – the fear, the insecurities, the frustration. Me, too. And does your husband walk around with what seems like very little regard for your feelings? I know that feeling. I think he should be expressing more care and concern a lot of the time – after all, we’re married and he knows my feelings.
I had a situation recently that served as a great reminder for me.
Come close: Just because you’re married does not mean he knows your feelings. He may know of them, but he may not realize they are ongoing. You have to tell him how you’re feeling – you have to share those fears, insecurities and frustrations with him.
I was struggling with my own fears and insecurities recently. I shared them with my husband, and because they were ongoing, at least from my perspective, I figured that he still knew and understood my feelings. I presumed that his lack of acknowledgement of them meant a disinterest in dealing with them.
So along with my fear and insecurity, I let my frustration and anger toward him grow for a little while.
One Saturday night, I went to bed a little later than usual. Ever so gently, my husband asked what was wrong. I started by saying nothing was wrong – I was just tired. He didn’t buy it.
And that’s when I told him….
Figuring that I’d bottled it and battled it for long enough, I shared my feelings with him. All the fears, the insecurities, the frustrations.
I expected that he would acknowledge my feelings in the moment and share kind words to help me feel better. He offered those, plentifully. But more than that, the longer we talked, the more he shared his perspective of my feelings. He took ownership of this particular issue, from the biblical head of household position.
This Bible study intensive and mentoring community is a wonderful resource if you are trying to choose confidence. I have the privilege of going through the course, and presenting on how to NOT allow relational trauma & toxicity to shake your confidence. I hope you’ll consider joining us!